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 Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:25 pm
I. The Thief
The thief broke into my apartment twice: the second time I was waiting with a gun. I was going to blow her brains out but she said no, don't, I'm a poor woman, I'm just trying to provide for my child and I said strip and she smiled. We made lust on the living room floor until her gloves were torn and slippery, her red lips wet, her mascara running down her cheeks. I was in love, so I called the police.
II. The Leper
The leper had yellow hair and grey green eyes and her skin was peeling off one piece at a time. I kissed her; her lips rotted and fell away under mine but her mouth tasted like strawberries. I was in love: I ******** her while she lay limp and dying on the gurney.
III. The Wife
The wife of my best friend was ugly, thin, bony, sallow. But struggling into her room through the window sent thrills down my spine and other parts; by the time I was mounting her it didn't matter who or what she was because I was in love with another man's wife, and it was the best feeling in the world.
IV. The Maid
The maid was nearing fifty. She sagged under the weight of all her flesh, fold over fold over fold, fat and gorged on decrepit truths of shady sex rooms in downtown motels. I think her name was Martha. Or Mary. Or Mabel. She wore a blue apron and had pink cheeks, too. We fell in bed together and her huge ridiculous body enveloped me, so heavy and so soft that I was in love despite her.
V. The Whore
The whore was a problem for me. I didn't and don't like the idea of prostitution; I'm used to not paying. This one, though, was too much for me. I wanted to devour her, she was so small and childlike, with her round belly and small breasts, narrow hips and huge feet, with her eyes bright and watchful. It was the only time in my life that I bent down and tasted a woman. She was sour and sticky, but her girlish face twisted by pleasure so shameful: I was in love.
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:36 pm
What the heck. That's all I can say........
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:49 pm
Well somebody is a womanizing a*****e, and it sure ain't me.
Good job though, nice writing.
Good to see something that isn't emo.
Reminds me of something Lovecraft would write, only tamer.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:02 am
The writing IS good, but I feel sorry for your characters. At least, the female ones. gonk
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:03 am
.....I'm still shuddering.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:14 am
An interesting breakdown of different forms of love. The guy needs a hug. A real one..... possibly with a straight jacket but whatever.
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:54 pm
Zahmen Well somebody is a womanizing a*****e, and it sure ain't me. Good job though, nice writing. Good to see something that isn't emo. Reminds me of something Lovecraft would write, only tamer. Voxxx The writing IS good, but I feel sorry for your characters. At least, the female ones. gonk Gomenroia An interesting breakdown of different forms of love. The guy needs a hug. A real one..... possibly with a straight jacket but whatever.
And yes, he does. He really does. *pets character*
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Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:00 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:30 am
<3 You're mad, Wench. Maaaaaad.
This is good though. I like it, anyways.
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:36 pm
... gonk scream crying I have nothing to say.
Edit: In retrospect, this is pretty good.
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Reply
