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 Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:15 pm
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place....
Man: "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt."
Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."
The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."
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Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:17 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:20 pm
heres a couple for you...
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
"My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends."
Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives.
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:19 pm
That's great.
Reminds me, actually got an ex out of a ticket by playing the bitchy lady.
"I told you!" I pointed my finger in his face. "You were going too damned fast, now look what's happened. You deserve that ticket.
Officer I told him he was going too fast but does he EVER listen!?" I threw my hands up at that point and the cop let him off with a warning
stating that he was pretty sure I'd dish out more punishment than he ever could. Wouldn't recommend this behavior though.
I'm lucky the cop didn't tell me to shut the hell up.
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:24 pm
LoL! I cracked up at that first one, Wicked. xD
The last one you did. Well I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. xD
Also, Fire your jokes are always funny. xD
But was the second one a lesbian joke?
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