"In dreams, the right is right and the wrong is wrong. In life, everything is simply.... wrong." Those were the last words of Eric Godsend, better known as Shade, Shade Eli Nowne.
I was once Shade, untill i forced myself upon hell. Of course, with suicide comes death. And suicide doesn't always work. Now, in a place worse than hell its self, I tell my story. A physical state worse than death. Instead of dead, I ended up on the worst side of reality. Life.



"The worse part of the body, The Mind"
No one famous or smart said this. I did. People called me many things, but in reality, i was nothing. Just me. Before, I said i was Shade E. Nowne. I was him, I killed him. I hate him, i hate shade, i hated myself.
With my new life, I bear a new name. I am Eric Godsend. My favorite color, blood red. What people think of me is modivation. Motivation to better themselves, and not to end up like me.

I killed my former self because I wasn't good enough. Not for her, not for me, not for even my parents. The day they filed for divorce, I decided I would leave. Leave the beating, leave the deceit, leave the physical and emotional pain. I would run away with her. Kathryn Madison. The light to my ever darkening world. I neared her house. And thats when i saw it. Her. At her window. With another boy.

Thats when I decided to end it. To end life. Any kind of hell would have been better than my life. I was alone, under the highway, gun in hand. I pulled th trigger, and imedtiatley felt the searing pain of my body's life flow from the new hole in my skull. As my blood drained away, and my vision faded, I heared someone scream "Call an ambulance!" as I blacked out.

Two months later, I awoke in a hospital bed, in a dimly lit room. The doctor was outside, looking in on me from a window. He smiled as he saw me looking back. hered the room and said "i'm glad you pulled through. We thought you wouldn't make it." I imediatlely thought, 'find something sharp."

Yep, a place worce than hell itself. My newfound life.