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 Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:33 pm
-- AIM RP Log between Nili'jicho (Maua) and Sewti ((DFA and Felyn)) He was no longer upset. At least... not that he was aware of. Things had smoothed out for the most part; while he'd been aware it'd taken the ocean itself to whack some sense into Nerida (plus Sewti talking to Panu), all seemed to be going just the way it should be. Panu was now and Nili had little doubt that Nerida would soon mate him and have a wonderful litter of cubs to play around with the other litters the other couples had been having and all would be right with the world.
Nili, however, could not help but wonder why it was he felt so god damned restless if all was, indeed, right with the world. Why could he not be perfectly happy with the way things were and skip off merrily to congratulate his brother (even if the congratulations were no doubt still early - not that it was any secret to him anyhow). Of course, since he was in a horrible mood altogether (being restless and horribly frustrated for no apparent reason can have that effect on you), the small male had slipped away from the main cave at night, giving some horrible excuse about wanting to find some inspiration elsewhere. Rather than raining on every one's parade, he'd merely removed himself rather effortlessly from the picture. No one had bothered to ask him where it was he was going, or why, really, for his bad temper and horrible attitude when annoyed were notoriously known within the pride. They'd probably guessed his need to remove himself before he saw it perfect idea to verbally bite some one's head off.
Thus the night greeted him with a sot breeze as he finally emerged the jungle, only barely, to sit half hiding within the vegetation, half on the beach; the tranquil water practically bordered the vegetation on that small portion of the beach, and Nili had often time found it comforting to sit within the plants, letting the water lap at his front paws. Tilting his head, he gazed at his reflection on the liquid then lifted his eyes to glare at the sky, "******** YOU!" he yelled at absolutely no one in particular. A small pause followed the outburst, during which the male seemed to ponder and then nod; yes, those few shouted words had made him feel all the better. Therapeutic.
Sewti, as always, appeared as serene and laid back as one could possibly imagine of a female. She was up and wandering for no reason other than she had had a bit of a tiff with Kisi and, well, it was never much fun to sit around with the moody little Klipspringer when she was in a foul mood. Instead, Sewti had taken to the beach some hour or more before, finding comfort in the sound of the waves along the sand. This was the one reason she had even settled in the cove before - the sound of the ocean, all that it provided, it was something she hadn't been willing to give up. Luckily enough for her, Panu had come along with a pride suited just fine to her tastes, and she found that she was happier than ever. Not only had she found a pride, but companionship with it. The thought of that, however, brought her back to what Kisi had been fussing about.
She thought Sewti needed a mate. The idea had seemed far too amusing to her for her to blow it off, so she had indulged the little companion of hers by responding, delving into just what Kisi thought. A male, a mate - it had never really come across Sewti's thoughts before. She was perfectly fine with it just being she and Kisi, but the little female had something else entirely in her thoughts. She supposed she should have expected it, being that Kisi was, after all, much more feminine than Sewti herself. She was expected to think of those things, she guessed.
It was the loud call that shocked her out of her thoughts, her brows furrowing. She had appeared quite untroubled, despite what was going on inside her head, but now she seemed to be just troubled slightly. She had recognized the voice as none other than the very feminine brother of what she now had no issue calling her best friend (aside from Kisi). Having grown somewhat attached to him, she changed her path to the direction she had guessed his voice to come from. There was nothing that she knew of to upset him, not now that everything had been mostly sorted out, so what reason was there to yell out in such a way? He was notorious for being a bit of a drama queen, so she simply let the thought slide away as his form became apparent in the moon-lit darkness. "What's wrong, Nili?" she asked in as nonchalant manner possible, pausing a little ways from him. Now, Nili had absolutely no clue whatsoever as what was haunting Sewti (Or rather, what was haunting her muse), and thus as the lioness approached he turned his head to regard her in the darkness. A small snort escaped his maw as he shook his head, allowing the dark black mane, almost fully formed by now due to the fact the male had almost reached an adult stage (odd, that he was still rather small, and would remain small for a male standard his whole life; all in all, he almost looked like a lioness with a stylish mane of sorts), "Nothing's wrong, you know? And that's exactly the problem."
There came a pause, during which Nili frowned; while in a way his words made sense in his mind, he wasn't sure if they;d make sense to Sewti. He'd become rather attached to the while pelted lioness over the course of the little time he'd spent with her, what with the way his best friend and Panu were lately almost always together (not that he begrudged them for it), "I feel... I feel..." he shifted his weight from paw to paw, then finally looked up to stare at Sewti, "******** restless; I should be happy. I should be glad those two blockheads are mostly happy, or rather, as happy as they're going to get... they're different and will always clash in more than one way... but instead I'm restless and I feel ******** left out."
Allowing himself to flop down on the floor, Nili looked off towards the sea again, his claws sinking into the sad, "It's selfish of me, and that thought only makes me feel worse."She simply quirked a brow at him at first as the first wave of his words rolled over her, letting it digest in her mind for the moment. He was upset because nothing was wrong? She hadn't forgotten, for one single moment, that his mind tended to work more like a female's than a male's, but that didn't mean that his nonsensical admittance didn't surprise her. "So, you would prefer if there was something wrong, because then it would give you something to do, and you wouldn't feel so.. out of place?" She was struggling to comprehend this, even being female, because one had to face the facts - where his mind worked more like a female's, hers worked more like a male's, and she wasn't quite up to facing such strange ideas.
She let out a long sigh and crossed the few short steps to flop down at his side, stretching out on her belly, just close enought to brush against his side. The pride here was particularly comfortable being close to one another, and that had always suited her just fine. He seemed like he needed some sort of comfort right now anyway, even if she wasn't really aware of exactly what she was comforting him over. He was speaking nonsense to her, in a way. Her little tift with Kisi certainly paled in comparison.
"I don't think you're being selfish at all," she said finally, with a small shrug, "even if I don't understand.. exactly what the problem is." Her tail flickered behind her as she let her eyes roam out to the darkness of the ocean, where she could see little besides the foamy crests of waves as, illuminated by the moon. "You're losing time with her, it's inevitable, like I'm losing time with Panu. It's natural to feel a little.. left out." She had come to terms with this, though she thought she was handling it better simply because she had Kisi - and her rather optimistic outlook on life.Another frown as he looked up to the sky, figuring Sewti's words out in his own mind. After a moment though, he clicked his tongue over his teeth almost as if in exasperation, "No," it was obvious he respected her though, for rather than bark and snap at her as was the norm for him to do, he simply looked away, ears flattening back into the black pelt of his mane, "That's not it," the words were almost mumbled rather than growled, "It's just, Nothing's wrong. Everyone's happy. Which means I should be happy, but I'm not. Instead I slip away and come here to emo like a moron over something I don't even know WHAT. See, that's the problem. If something were wrong at least I'd have an excuse to be here pulling off this god damned moronic stunt. But I don't I have no excuse.@
No sooner did she flop down next to him though that he turned back to face her slightly, leaning his frame instantly against her, without even a shade of doubt or shame. THen again, he'd grown up within a pride that was open even to strangers, and it was comon practice for the pridal members to huddle together inside a cave whenever a storm loomed over them. There was comfort in contact and though he had no clue what he needed to be comforted over, the contact was still easily and obviously welcomed without a shadow of a doubt. That much was clear, for no sooner had he reclined himself against her frame (looking comicaly smaller than her in comparison), his eyes hooded, his gaze sweeping back over the sea, "What's wrong with me anyhow?" he'd always know he was mildly diferent than the rest; the fights he'd had with his brother, even at such an early age had always supported that much in his mind, but still.
When Sewti began to talk again, his allowed himself to look at her out the corner of an eye; what the female was saying was true, that much was clear by the way he instantly looked away, but that still wasn't the whole problem, or so he thought anyhow, "Does that mean you're not feeling restless like I am? How do you do it? You're always... upbeat."
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:49 am
"It sounds like you're envious," she said softly, making sure to steer clearly away from the world 'jealous', which seemed to have a rougher bite. She knew that he seemed to be gentler with her, but she also knew that there was no reason to push her luck. If she could reword things, then by all means, that was certainly what she was going to do. She was a little worn from helping Panu already, for she was certainly not some endless expanse of knowledge, but if it could help soothe Maua-Nili a little, then she would certainly try. She felt a little attached to him, as strange as that was - she seemed to develop bonds quickly for this family. "Everyone here has mates, a happy family, and you are still alone. It's another natural feeling. You want that too, it happens to all of."
Which instantly brought up her talk with Kisi, and she shook her head, as if arguing with the little Klipspringer all over again. She knew that some time, she would inevitably find someone, but given her rather unusual qualities, she knew that it wouldn't likely be anytime soon. Somehow, she felt that this was the same for Nili. They were both stuck behind the developing and flourishing relationships of their peers.
"I do, a little," she admitted finally, shrugging her shoulders as she looked down at him. She didn't miss that she looked bigger than him, when they were reclined like this, or that she seemed to have taken the male role in this little situation. It didn't bother her in the slightest, just as she assumed it didn't bother him either. "I think.. having Kisi helps. She's always been at my side, constantly, so I had her before I.. had Panu." She made a face at the way that came out, but laughed it off as she glanced back down at his eyes. "Plus, I'm simply an upbeat person. I've been told it's infectious." She gave him her best and brightest smile, a purr on her maw.
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:04 am
Even though the words were lighthearted, the male still paused his train of thought as he listened to Sewti speak; not only because what she was saying was true and thus, drove the notion home, but because in a weird sort of way, it made perfect sense to him, "Jealous?" it was obvious that despite the fact she used a lighter word, he knew perfectly well what she'd meant, "I don't... I mean..." he'd never sat down to attempt to Analise the feeling; or rather, he had but had failed to notice the large green eyed monster staring right back at him and now that it was clear within sight, Nili wasn't particularly sure he felt comfortable in the knowledge. It made him feel horrible to know that he was simply jealous of the happiness Nerida and Panu had.
Turning his head downward, the lion stared at his paws and the way he was restlessly sinking his claws into the wet sand, only to retract them back out and repeat the process, "I would never wish them any harm, you know that, right?" the words were mumbled, his ears hidden from view. While it was true the small male had a foul personality (not helped by the fact others probably thought he was compensating for something with it), Nili was more bark than he was bite, and thus the mere idea of actually hurting others beyond words was notorious to him. He hadn't even been able to defend himself that one time Panu had lost his patience with him, so long ago, "I don't think it's fair on my part to be jealous, but I can't help it either."
A snort followed; with such a personality, Nili could hardly ignore the female's choice of words, "You had Panu, huh?" looking back up at her, he offered her the first few traces of a real smirk, "I dunno, I don't think you'd have worked out together anyhow, as much as Panu was willing to try in the name of duty... you're too alike. And you're both dominant."
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:27 am
She hadn't pushed him, or spoken, as she realized the wave of realization was washing over him. He needed to ride that out on his own, in silence, letting his mind adjust to the new idea. It hadn't taken her long to figure it out, but she suspected that his mind had purposely been hiding it from himself. Who in the world really wanted to admit that they were jealous of those they loved the most? It wasn't an emotion one really wanted to admit to anyone, let alone to themselves, and she knew that if she had to be the one to say it and the one to bring him around to see it - then she would also have to sit there in silence until he was ready for her to speak. She listened to his words, the mumbles, and simply nodded as she stared out across the dark sea as it crashed against the beach before them. When he finally managed coherency once more, became Maua once more, she allowed herself to speak.
"I know that," she said with a smile, her eyes drifting back towards him as she heard the suction of the wet sand against his paws, the deep pink irises flickering to the motion before quickly looking up at his face, so as not to draw attention to his attempt at distracting himself. "You can be.. envious of something, of someone, without wishing to take it away." She nodded, as if to make sure that the words sounded as well spoke aloud as they did in her head. "I think it's alright to be jealous," she turned to look out at the ocean again, "as long as you're not malicious about it. As long as you're happy that they are happy, it's OK to wish that you were that happy too." Her voice seemed strained as she spoke, slower, more calculated than she ever had - most likely because this was a very hard thing for her to do. She wasn't precisely good at sensitive advice, she wasn't really used to being quite so feminine about her ways. He needed this though, he needed to know that what he felt was OK, and it brought out some need to protect him from his own feelings.
She couldn't help the wry smile that spread across her maw at his words, though, and she laughed softly beneath her breath. "It would have worked about as well as you and Nerida, I think. Both so dramatic - how in the world would anyone have survived that?" She chuckled again and nudged him lightly in the side, glancing down at his eyes as her chuckle faded to leave behind a lopsided, smirking smile.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:12 am
Despite the awkwardness of the situation in general, he was able to feel a wash of relief against his skin; it much reminded him of a blast of wind against wet pelt after a swim in the ocean. It was welcome, almost as if he'd somehow managed to rid of a load he'd barely even noticed had been posed over his shoulders. In a way, it left his heart feeling lighter (as cheesy as that sounded), yet at the same time, the realisation that what he wanted was not something he could actively just seek out (... he wasn't a charmer, and whom would want him anyhow? He was pretty much screwed in his mind, voices not withstanding), left a big hole to fill up.
With a soft sigh, he lowered his gaze, finally noticing the way he'd been digging his claws into the sand. A paw lifted from him to look at; even now that he'd grown, his paw was smaller than that of his brother, and even that of Mundoo, he was sure of it. It was almost feminine in nature, and it was possible the way his mane was set would almost make him look like a lioness; slick, stylish and obviously not as fluffy or impressive as Panu's. Her words washed over him then; so intently had he been looking at his paw, that he'd almost missed the fact she'd been speaking to him. The way the male sucked in air, as if surprised by her words was clear enough hint that he was listening to her though; his ears flattened back and perked alternatively, as if having a mind of their own... as if they couldn't quite figure out what position they wished to be in. The words rang home, sliced through him in a metaphorical way and Maua found he had nothing to say to them. He had nothing to answer back. For all his wits and all his words, he had nothing to offer in return for what she had given him; peace of mind.
He felt peaceful, and only then realised the notions had been haunting him for a very long time now. Seeing as how there was nothing to be said further, he remain silent and simply watched her. He stared shamelessly at her; the word wasn't even in his dictionary, probably. Regardless, something akin to respect flashed through his eyes; it fell just short of admiration, for no one had really bothered to tell him such things. Granted, his family loved him dearly, but his parents dealt with him in different ways. He'd log since realised that his father was .... different than other lions; less mature. Likewise, his mother was different too, almost whimsical, and her advice was always light hearted. Hearing Sewti, whom was an outsider, say such thing was rather nice, for a change.
The look he gave her vanished, replaced by the peaceful sensation that washed over him as he looked away from her, "I don't know; I don't think I'm hardly half as dramatic as Nerida is," he chuckled, knowing full well he was talking bullshit, if this conversation was any hint to take into account. The nudge made him snort slightly, "Watch it, watch it. I don't think I need you messing up my pelt more than it already is," after a moment, he turned to look at himself, grimacing slightly, "I need a bath," all the time he'd spent fretting had done a stunt on his usually pristine pelt. Even most of his flowers were missing, "And a groom. And a talk with Panu and my dad."
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:34 am
To say the least, Sewti was happy when the awkwardness of their situation began to wash away. It wasn't that she minded him staring at her, for she was probably just as shameless as he was, and her outgoing nature often put her in the spotlight of conversations. No, what she minded was the odd feeling that surfaced between them. She was not truly used to being the voice of reason, the aid in someone's time of need, and his admiration of her wasn't something that she felt was simply skin deep at that moment. If he had just been staring at her fur, her markings, that would have been different, but it was almost as if he were staring into her instead. A lot of the lions in this pride seemed to have that uncanny ability and it never ceased to make her fidget - she was uncomfortable whenever that sort of attention was turned upon her. She was Sewti and no more in her mind, what was there left to digest?
"I think that is a big old fib," she said with an amused chuckle, her eyes rolling back down to look at him now that the atmosphere around them had diminished into something she was more familiar with. Her comfort zone definitely lay in the realm of teasing and joking. "There was nothing but drama when I came back, and it certainly all didn't have to do with Nerida." She quirked one brow at him, her lopsided grin plastered to her maw. As unfeminine as it was, it did give her face a certain degree of charm, almost as if she were more masculine in her beauty than feminine, even with all of those flowers on her pelt.
Though, as he began to talk of leaving, she almost let that pretty grin fade into a frown. She wasn't sure what it was, but she didn't truly feel like letting him leave. He was perhaps the one lion in this pride, aside from Panu, that she knew and knew well. She supposed it might have simply had to do with the fact that if he left, she would have to go back to brooding over the conversation between she and her 'muse', as they liked to call her hear. Having such an honor as that was certainly not helping Kisirani's feeling of entitlement where their relationship was concerned. "Panu and your father are probably sleeping, or in Panu's case, he's might be romancing up his lady." The amused gleam in her eyes sparked at her joking, though she did wonder if there were going to be any little cubs for her to play with any time soon. "So I'm sure they probably wouldn't appreciate you interrupting them." She was also sure that Maua wouldn't want to interrupt Panu if he were indeed doing what she suspected he might be.
"Come swimming with me instead," she said finally, pushing herself to her feet and shaking her mane tuft out a little. Her bright fuchsia eyes gleamed in the moonlight overhead as she turned to look down at him, waiting paitently, poised there. "Swimming in the moonlight."
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:14 am
"Hardly drama," he said as he lifted his head up in an attempt look her down, trying to look comically superior, and failing at doing so, for the female was in fact, larger than he was, making the scene in itself, comical for other reasons entirely, "My muse would never let me lie in such open ways!" which was obviously bullshit, what with the way his eyes sparkled as he talked; flowers were fickle in nature at best, and were prone to lying if it so amused them to. The fact the change in atmosphere was well received by her was not missed by Maua; he knew it must be hard for an outsider to join the pride at such an advanced age. Their methods and beliefs were not always well received, and sometimes they were misunderstood; the way she fidgeted almost caused him to smile fondly before he caught himself.
Rather than continue to stare openly at her, he turned towards the ocean, missing the frown that edged across her features in the wake of noticing that he was rather enjoying her company. The notion was odd and had only just smacked him in the face; it wasn't hard to get to know Maua, as much as others seemed to believe the contrary. Both brothers were more alike than either cared to admit, no doubt from having been raised within the same land, open in more ways than more traditional prides. Even before Panu left, they were raised within the beliefs of the pride, and thus neither seemed to feel the need to hide their thoughts or feelings from the others. Both males were easily read, their thoughts and emotions displayed out on the open for all to read, much like an open book. It, no doubt, explained why Sewti felt she 'knew' Maua almost as well as she knew Panu. However, it didn't even begin to explain why Maua felt he knew Sewti more than he had the right to; it also didn't explain the strange... companionship they shared. A companionship he couldn't even put a name to just yet.
Rather than try to analyse it just yet, Maua found himself turning towards Sewti again, his brows shooting up at her words. He couldn't help it; he suddenly lifted his head up mildly and found himself laughing lightly at her words. The sound was rich, warm and musical and it soon grew, like flames fanned by the wind till he almost had to clutch his sides at the mental images he was getting. The laughter was not ill-intentioned, as was obvious by the sparkle that shone in his eyes when he managed to open them, the sound reduced to small heaving motions as he attempted to catch his breath, "Oh... oh... hardly. Not yet anyway," he managed as he took long breaths of air, "They're so awkward right now, Sewti. They... it'll take them a while still, if I know either of them half as well as I think I do. But no, you're right, they wouldn't appreciate me interrupting them just yet," letting out a final breath, the laughter still ghosting over his features in the form of a genuine smile, he nodded, "I'll wait till morning."
And with that, Maua began to push himself off the floor, no doubt having come to the conclusion he was wasting more of her time than he had any god-given right to with all his drama. Thus was why when her words drifted over towards him again, he found himself pausing mid-motion, as if what she was saying was the last thing he'd have expected her to, "Swimming?" he looked mildly dumb funded for a moment, surprised; his features reflected that much, joined with almost childish edge to them, making him look more naive than both of them knew he was. In his defense, it was the first time anyone had asked him to go... well, anywhere with them, really. Nerida not withstanding. Not only that, but he found he really DID want to do just that with her, for some reason... he couldn't yet quite put his paw on. A couple more seconds paused before his expression relaxed into a heavy lidded smile; sweet and almost grateful that she still wished him to stick around, "Sure," he murmured lightly, "That'd be Nice."
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:27 pm
Her brow quirked as he began to talk about lying, letting the words flop over in her mind. Somehow she truly doubted that his muse would stop him from lying, but then, she really had no idea about most of this muse stuff anyway. She had lucked out in the fact that Kisi could be considered her muse and if what she had been told was true, she supposed she actually did count. They weren't cheating, for Kisi really had chosen to stay with her all this time - it was just her own skepticism over letting Kisi think she was some great 'muse' that made her wonder at times. She was sure that the living being that had been bonded to her for so long was quite different than the voices the other pride members claimed to hear in the wind, or the trees.. or from the flowers. "I'm not so sure about that," she said lowly, but she knew she couldn't dispute it, and the frown that creased her brows showed that openly. She wasn't angry or upset, just so very confused. It would take time for her to understand all of this better, she was sure.
As the laughter built and rolled out of him, she was finding it hard not to return the feeling. Thus, her own laughter began to trickle out, taking place of her frown, filling the air between them and making his rich, musical peals blend with a pretty but less refined sound. As he finally caught his breath, she drew in her own, calming down her beating heart. "Oh, I don't know, you'd be surprised," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders, though she still couldn't wipe the grin off of her face, "lions can get to that point rather fast, from what I've seen. Hormones and all, they're a strange force." Of course, what information she was going by was just what she had experienced from seeing her brothers before they all left. The stories they had told would have been enough to burn the ears clean off of anyone more shy and reserved than Sewti.
She stood there silently, waiting for him to agree to go with her. At first, with his hesitation, she wasn't sure if he was going to come or not. The thought made her heart sink, though she supposed it was just because she was lonely. When he finally agreed, she felt her heart flutter, and that fading smile once again spread across her mug - there was really hardly ever a time when she wasn't smiling. "Great!," she exclaimed excitedly, turning towards the direction she had originally been heading when she had come upon him. "There's a little inlet a bit farther down the beach, where it's shallower and the waves aren't quite as strong." She turned to look over her shoulder at him, nodding him forward and sending the mane tuft on her head flopping slightly. "I think that would be nice, so we don't have to fight the waves in the dark." She took a few steps, then paused, wanting to make sure he was actually coming.
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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:33 am
"You aren't huh?" oh, he knew she wasn't sure; very few outsiders came to understand the muses till they'd spent a great deal of time within Kizaa. Still, it was clear it was playful banter at this point. Banter was something Nili understood and was happy to toss right back at her, "Well," he told her after a moment, "You'll see in time what I mean. S'no rush, is there? Meaning of life don't just hit you over the head randomly. Takes time."
A snort followed her words and he rolled his eyes, "I 'unno," he told her; then again, he wasn't a prime example of 'social' per say. Whom was he to talk about what was correct and what wasn't. His attention was veered swiftly away from the actual conversation as she spoke of the small inlet. Without giving it much thought, he was following after her, padding away. He felt like she could have lead him to the ends of the world and he'd have followed her right there and then.
Strange that.
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