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Not to say that I didn't understand the actual concept behind the 'show, don't tell' rule (guideline, really) with writing, but I always was a bit confused on what it applies to.

In fact, it was bothering me so much I called my dear old friend Ninjadan, and he talked it out with me.

My problem was this: Does 'not telling' apply to actions? I tend to write down facial expressions a lot. 'she raised her eyebrow in question' is a good sentence to explain. By simply stating 'she raised her eyebrow' tell the reader that she's questioning what she's been told? Or is the 'in question' at the end needed?

Or, another example: 'she felt the muscles in his back tense up, as if ready for a fight.'

Now, really, 'as if ready for a fight' is a given, correct? So it's not needed so much, right? Is that what the 'show, don't tell' guideline applies to?

What about after speaking? 'He said, she said' are obviously under-used words, and I'm guilty of this myself. Placing in words to describe how a sentence is said is unneeded because the dialogue should speak for itself, right? (As I read in a book once, how do you 'chortle' out a sentence?)

So I ask you, dear progress members, what is your take on the 'show, don't tell' rule, and how do you apply it to your own writing?

You're right! Especially with the One Piece example! My favorite example of this, however, is Dragon Ball Z. Krillin serves NO OTHER PURPOSE than explaining things to the audience. Seriously. Sure, once in a while he fights, but that's only so he can tell the audience how the villain is just that much more powerful than he is. He does nothing else. Oh, sometimes he asks questions when he doesn't understand enough to explain - then Piccolo explains it for him. sweatdrop



I would say having the character explain things in dialogue is the best way to go - of course, it would have to be realistic. As in, if two characters are discussing what happened last night, they wouldn't go over every last detail of the night.

Char 1: Hey, remember last night?
Char 2: You mean when we went to the party and got drunk and I hooked up with that chick and then sobered up later and realized it was my cousin?
Char 1: Yeah, that was hilarious!
Char 2: Ugh, don't remind me.

See? Not going to work out. It's not natural. However, if you mix it up a bit:

Char 1: Hey, remember last night?
Char 2: Ugh, don't remind me.
Char 1: You were wasted.
Char 2: Didn't I tell you not to remind me?
Char 1: Don't remind you of what? Of you hooking up with your cousin? That was hilarious!

See? Much more believable, and the reader knows what happened last night.



I think writing faux pas like that are made by those that are just starting out writing. I used to do stuff like that myself, but it goes along the lines of over-describing a characters outfit or appearance, or over-stating anything in a story. It takes a while to write stories from a reader's point of view.

It's a hard thing to do. When you write out a story, you know what's going to happen to your characters and plot. It's not a surprise to you, and so when starting out, it's hard to write your story and not state the obvious. Because it's obvious to you what will happen, new writers have to force themselves not to give it all away.

I’m infamous for writing dialogue that captures the flow of a normal conversation. It drives my psychiatrist crazy because she’s published and says she can’t do it for her life. Anyway, so the degree of description of speech depends most directly on how well the readers know the characters. At the beginning of a story there’s gonna be a lot more ‘he said, she said,’ then in the middle of a story when the reader knows how certain characters would say certain things

If it’s a conversation between two characters and they’re going back and forth then eventually you can drop the who’s saying what. It’s implied, but you’ll still want to interject it in places as not to confuse the reader.

A lot of happens with a lack of tag lines is traceable to a lack of linguistic understanding. Which is OK to have as long as you aren't confusing the reader. Not every writer is a linguist, but you know, it's not going to kill you to pinch a textbook on the subject and read the hell out of it. And I so support this.

Characters, sans tag lines, should SOUND DIFFERENT. At the very least, your readers should be able to pick out the main characters from a crowd based on what they say, how they say it; their grammar, syntax and word choice.

It's very hard to do this while drafting, BUT, as you revise, it should be something you look at. And goodness, please not to be trying to write an accent perfectly the first time though.

All of that said- tag lines, you guys. Use them. They don't bite. There is very little excuse in the world to have more than half a page of dialog with NO TAGS. At that point, your reader is probably counting backwards to see who said what.

Oh wait. That is so not what we were talking about sweatdrop .

One Piece is AWESOME. And Oda himself is an inspiration. Having your first full-length comic in Shonen Jump and selling millions of copies at 23 years old? *bowsbowsbows* XD

Maybe your Zoro excerpt is a bit on the telly-side, but not objectionably so, because you wrote it with FLAIR and also characterized Zoro by way of his actions.

And hey, as far as trying new stuff goes- you won't know unless you try! Trufax.