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 Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:26 am
*still not sure if these things are poems or not. For now, they shall have to go here.*
I had a dream kindasorta about this. Me and my weird dreams....
Hawaii
Hawaii is a wasteland,
Polluted, barren, dead.
The magma has burned away everything
The waves of brackish green breathe
In and out with the stuttering breaths
Of a 2000-year smoker
As they wash over black sands strewn
With debris and abandoned hopes.
No one seems to remember how it happened
-whose fault was it, after all?-
They continue to dream of sunny beaches
Blue waters
Exotic drinks
And lush forests.
Tourists still arrive in ships and planes
Only to be handed
A biohazard suit.
They gaze at the ruins of paradise
Decaying beneath a watery sun.
The USA still claims it as its own
Pamphlets still claim it to be
“The Islands of Paradise”
Without recalling
The first paradise
And what happened to it in the end.
It lurks in the hopes of harried businessman
And snow-sick children
Who arrive only to
Turn around again.
Only one remains on the wastelands of Eden
You can see him at dawn, drifting
Around Honolulu, gathering
Twigs and empty coconut shells,
Dressed in rags,
Humming to himself.
He knows what Hawaii has become
And yet, he remains
In the place some once called heaven
In the place he still calls home.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:54 am
You have some weird dreams...
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:26 am
I know.....): HAlf of them are better than this though. This is the fourth weird dream in four days.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:02 pm
OKAY! I like it. It's very odd though, and I'm not sure I got quite an impact as I did with Stalingrad, which made me cry. This one made me concentrate on the poem more, rather than make me imagine what's going on. Some of the lines seemed to be set up to rhyme, and then didn't. I like it... it just seems to need something. Well, blessed writing.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:11 pm
Lay off the prune juice, Kirbs. rofl It gives you night mares.  Man, that thing is nasty.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:06 pm
*Sigh* *Goes off to emo topic*
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:53 pm
Dreams open our eyes to Heaven, to Hell, to the battle which rages within our own hearts... What in your heart turns Paradise into such a Wasteland.
Who in your heart will be left behind to wander... Who is it that wanders your heart.
This means something to me, but I am not sure even you know.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:12 pm
Ser: ): Awwww
Moone: You may be right. I don't know...I didn't really have any particular ambition with this piece.
Tak: You probably know all the answers anyway. As it was...I never intended for it to have that meaning, but that's probably what the dream meant....that would explain a lot of things, and is true in a way.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:17 pm
I'm not sure, having read it again, if I like it because I do, or because it does something to me...?
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:44 am
*shrug* I don't know either :/ I'm slightly mad at it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:15 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:49 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:56 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:01 am
Why mad... Because it is a bit to revealing when shown to the right eyes?
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