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Okay, so there are these three guys who are heading to a deadly hot desert. They can each only bring one thing with them. One guy is speech illiterate, another is physics illiterate, and the last is just stupid.

The speech illiterate one brings a closed bottle of water. "Why are you bringing a bottle of water?" asked the guard. So the guy says, "Geiaorgoe aeorg eorn aoeirng." And the guard is like, "Oooookaaaaay...."

The physics illiterate one brings an open bottle of water. "Why are you bringing an open bottle of water?" asked the guard. So the guy says, "In case I get thirsty. I lost the lid, though... crying " So the guard says, "It's going to evaporate, you know." The guy stares down at his water bottle and covers it with his hand. "Will it evaporate now?" he asked. The guard nodded. The guy stared at his hand and then removed it and drank all the water. "How about now?" he asked. The guard stared at him. "You just drank all your water." The guy nodded. "Pretty smart, huh? Now it won't evaporate." "Yeah," said the guard, "but now you have no water."

The stupid one drives his car up to the booth that the guard is sitting in and, with great difficulty, rips off his car door. He then takes it with him past the guard. The guard looks at him, bewildered. "Why are you bringing your car door?" he asks. The guy shrugs. "I mean, why else?" he says. "Obviously it's so that if it gets hot, I can just roll down the window and feel the breeze!"

Okay, so there are these three more guys. Two are graceful, and one is clumsy. They all visit a magical cliff. If one jumps off of this cliff and yells any noun at the top of their lungs, they'll land in a pile of whatever they yelled out. The first does a running jump followed by a triple flip, screaming "MONEY!!" He lands in a pile of money. The second does a running spinning jump and yells "CAKE!!" He lands on a giant cake. The clumsy one, fearing for his life, tip-toes up to the cliff. The edge breaks with him on it. "Oh, shi-"