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Moon (haiku) Contest entry

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Riaku_Nukazi

PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:26 pm


Moon
11 words
Rae/ Riaku Nu-kazi

Stars Sparkle gently
as the wind whispers softly
speaking to the moon


It's a haiku, so that's why it doesn't rhyme, and it has the 7 5 7 pattern.  
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:08 pm


I've heard of a Haiku before. ^_^ Have you heard of a Tanka? I forget what they were supposed to hold...but... xP I remember the name! xD That's the important part. lol

Anyway, it was very well written. ^.^ Hope you write more soon!

Mizu Rose
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Riaku_Nukazi

PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:57 pm


Thanks, and no, I don't thnk I've heard of it... hmm...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:49 am


i think it was great! a lil tip thou, the pattern is 5 7 5 not 7 5 7. Well that's it!

MiStReSs-SuN


Shanra the Dragon Bard
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Devout Worshipper

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:18 pm


Quote:
Chōka consists of 5-7 Japanese sound units phrases repeated at least twice, and concludes with a 5-7-7 ending.

The briefest chōka documented was made by Yamanoue no Okura in the Nara period, and goes:

瓜食めば子ども思ほゆ栗食めばまして思はゆ何処より来りしものそ眼交にもとな懸りて安眠し寝さぬ (Man'yōshū: 0337),

which consists of a pattern 5-7 5-7 5-7 5-7-7:

瓜食めば Uri hameba When I eat melons
子ども思ほゆ Kodomo Omohoyu My children come to my mind;
栗食めば Kuri hameba When I eat chestnuts
まして思はゆ Mashite Omowayu The longing is even worse.
何処より Izuko yori Where do they come from,
来りしものそ Kitarishi monoso Flickering before my eyes.
眼交に Manakai ni Making me helpless
もとな懸りて Motona kakarite Endlessly night after night.
安眠し寝さぬ Yasui shi nesanu Not letting me sleep in peace?

[English translation by Edwin A. Cranston, from A Waka Anthology: Volume One: The Gem-Glistening Cup, Stanford University Press © 1993]


Tanka consists of five units (often treated as separate lines when Romanized or translated) usually with the following mora pattern:

5-7-5 / 7-7.
The 5-7-5 is called the kami-no-ku ("upper phrase"), and the 7-7 is called the shimo-no-ku ("lower phrase").

Tanka is a much older form of Japanese poetry than haiku. In ancient times poems of this form were called hanka ("reverse poem"), since the 5-7-5-7-7 form derived from the conclusion (envoi) of a choka. Sometimes a choka had two envois.

The choka above is followed by an envoi; 銀も金も玉も何せむに勝れる宝子にしかめやも, also written by Okura.

銀も Shirogane mo What are they to me,
金も玉も Kogane mo tama mo Silver, or gold, or jewels?
何せんに Nanisen ni How could they ever
まされる宝 Masareru takara Equal the greater treasure
子にしかめやも Koni shikame yamo That is a child? They can not.

[English translation by Edwin Cranston]

Even in the late Asuka period, waka poets such as Kakinomoto Hitomaro made hanka as an independent work. It was suitable to express their private interest in life and expression, in comparison with choka, which was solemn enough to express serious and deep emotion when facing a significant event. The Heian period saw many tanka. In the early Heian Period (at the beginning of the 10th century), choka was seldom written and tanka became the main form of waka. Since then, the generic term waka became almost identical with tanka. The Heian period also saw the invention of a new tanka-based game: One poet recited or created half of a tanka, and the other finished it off. This sequential, collaborative tanka was called renga ("linked poem"). (The form and rules of renga developed further during medieval times; see the renga article for more details.)When a person sends a 'haiku' to a friend, it is a custom to send back a tanka.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:27 pm


Did that come from wikipedia.

Nice Haiku though.

Neo the Grey


Shanra the Dragon Bard
Vice Captain

Devout Worshipper

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:03 pm


Yes it did Neo.
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