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 Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:08 pm
Esoteric, Tavarius, and Dan all stood in the ring, as a crazy laser show hit, a beat kicked in over the speakers, as the Inquisition began thier long awaited Drown Debut Rap.
((Red text are verses rapped by tavarius, Blue is Esoteric, and green is both members.))
I'm high on my pedestal so I can't see y'all from where I'm at
I love the smell of napalm in the mornin' while I'm eating my Apple Jacks
My battle raps acts as a first resort death kill
The match comes second and theres guaranteed blood spill
Opponents better
Fall back
Said I ain't got
raw raps
Doubt that?
We're all that
And a bag of chips
I got verbal punchlines with explosive tips
I'm about to get real ill on some Ill Bill 'La Coka Nostra' s**t
That's gritty and gangster
Tavarius, pass me a banger
General manager says my name, y'all start to stutter
Slicing pussies, I'm a certified carpet cutter
Handgun...
Automatic
Shotgun...
Pump-Action
Inquisition with your wife, that's...
Automatic Pump-Action
We're laundry mat thug passion, we wash bundles there
Keepin' our guns tucked in the ********' Snuggles bear
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:22 pm
Haha!
Wanna talk smack? I got news for ya Mac
We're done with clubbing now we're picking up slack
We're on a mission of sacred inquisition
Now take a moment to write down this proposition
Prophet and Druid gonna raid your synagogues
Preaching holy verses and passin' out chili dogs
You take a bite and believe in what's right
Or take a hell dive without winning 'dis fight
Divine intervention hath swept the senate
Vetoing corruption and passing on repentance
I forsee the future, and damn it's bright
Cause religious might has taken the spotlight
Damn it's good, and if I may be bold
We got more brothers 'dat are craven holy gold
Gotta problem with 'dat?
Deal with it
Can't handle it
Feel 'da split
Our verses are Psalms
Got anymore qualms?
Then talk to my palms
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:55 pm
Samoa Dan then lifts the mic to his mouth, and takes a breath while the fans anticipate what he may bring to the rapping table...
...and are sorely disappointed.
"I come to you today a changed man. I've been out for a while, and well... I've decided that drugs aren't for me."
Samoa Dan, ever the hypocrite, takes a joint from behind his ear and lights it up to "Bullshit" chants. He passes it over to a fellow Inquisition member and continues.
"Oh that? That's not a drug. That's the holy plant of a higher power! It allows us to see more clearly... and what I have seen, I will share with you. A holy warrior, fighting for truth" he chuckles "and what is right. A man at the top of a mountain, gold in hand. Oh yeah... the man just so happens to be me, and the gold just so happens to be the EEW title. Funny how things work out, eh? I bet you wish you had partaken in the holy ritual of higher awareness. Maybe you would be in my position now. But no, I am the chosen one, and together with my brothers we will reign in a new age on Drown!"
Dan throws down the mic and then takes back the joint, taking another long puff.
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:14 am
Esoteric stepped up next to Dan and cocked a pose before speaking as well.
"As a matter of fact. Snypa promised me a shot at his television title, and Atrocity promised Tavarius a shot at his title... That was until they showed they were less than men and lost their gold. I believe we are all owed. However Brother Dan, you have been robbed more than anyone here. You continue to give servitude and yet receive nothing. Know that Tavarius and myself, stand behind you fully and completely."
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:13 pm
"I understand, but when you have faith in a higher power things can take some time to kick in... But when it does, anyone who opposes us should expect to be burnt out." Dan replies to Eso with a grin.
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:05 pm
"But what doesn't take time to kick in," Tav interjected, "Is this!"
Whipping out a tin can with his face on it, he held it out for the camera to zoom in on.
"My new line of canned chili! Introducing Tavarius' ZOMG Chili for Dawgz! Gents, tired of eating the same old shitty Oscar-what the hell is in this wrapping anyway-Weiners? Frankfurts just not cuttin' it? Just slap this on any dog and you'll have yourself a Crack-Dog! Ladies, tired of eatin' the same ol' hot dog in your homie's pants? Is the money shot in your mouth ever so unsatisfying? Just slap my chili on any homie's kabasa and not only will you be happy with the taste, he'll be damn satisfied with what's in your mouth! Remember, that's Tavarius' ZOMG Chili for Dawgz! Now available for $8.99 a can on EEW.com whenever you purchase any Inquisition apparel!"
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:29 pm
Dan gives a thumbs up and smiles, the camera zooming in on his face. "Endorsed by marijuana- I mean holy plant of higher power- smokers everywhere for superb munchie control." Dan says, and finishes with an over exaggerated wink.
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:55 pm
Random female fan: "The blowjobs I gave my husband were less than satisfactory, but with Tavarius' ZOMG Chili for Dawgs, the pleasure we get from oral sex has skyrocketed."
Hilary Clinton: "I can see why Bill went to that b***h Monica Lewinsky. But he stopped messing with her after I bought Tav's chili for his birthday."
Obama: *stepping out on the ramp with a mic* I'm an avid fan of the Inquisition and I love beef hot dogs! After using Tavarius' chili, I love plump beef franks even more! Just like my campaign slogan says, it was time for a change. That change came so quick when I couldn't even get off the can on my tour bus for about almost a week and missed certain meetings I had on my road to beating John McCain!"
Obama looks up and pulls out one of the infamous Crack Dogs that is wrapped up. He unwraps it and takes a bite.
"Mm-mmm! Now that's a hot dog and those men in the ring are real champions!"
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:19 am
Esoteric turned to Tavarius and Dan.
"I know Tav makes bomb chili dogs and all, but when did we become political pack mules? Did you guys hold a meeting without me again? This better not be another one of those biy band incidents!"
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:38 pm
"I'm Canadian now eh? So I dont know why he's here..." Samoa Dan says.
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:04 pm
"I voted for Ron Paul," Tav shot back. "Maybe he thinks we're Black?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:28 am
((Politicians are fans of the Inquisition! rofl ))
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:08 am
Esoteric tossed his mic in the air behind him as he exited the ring. As he passed Dan and tavarius he muttered to them.
"From now on we cut all promos, from undisclosed locations. We're also charging for the next concert."
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