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[Sci][M][F]Animal Instinct

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[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:47 pm


You're something beautiful...


Before I start, I'd like to point out I'm not sure how to classify this story. So I've just lumped it together as Sci-Fi/Modern/Fantasy. sweatdrop This can also be found on my fictionpress account.

______________________________________________




[Sci][M][F] Animal Instinct
by [ Rose ]


Prologue.



Society despises those who are different. For the past few years, my kind has been created and destroyed without the blink of an eye. You wouldn’t understand; nobody ever does. We don’t see the same freedom you all take for granted. Looked down upon, we’re treated as inferiors, as pets; we are just pawns in this game, placed along the sidelines in our own cages until you come along and decide that we may be useful.

People? Ha, as if we would ever be treated as such. We may eat the same foods as you. We may dress the same as you. We may bleed as you do. But we’re still not like you, not while we possess this burden you placed on—no, rather inside of us.

Animals—that’s all we are and that’s all we ever will be.


*********


“Don’t let her escape!” a voice shouted.

“Block all the exits!” another ordered.

Amelia quickly brushed a stray strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and swore under her breath as chaos broke out around her. She should have known there would be an overwhelming amount of security; after all, breakouts from secret facilities were no easy task. A loud alarm sounded and only added to the current disorder. A girl screamed around the corner as a fight ensued between her and one of the lab technicians nearby. Realizing that the only logical conclusion was that the technicians were after her, Amelia lingered no longer. No one needed to tell her to run.

She knew this was a risky move, but she couldn’t bear to stay in that hell one minute longer.

The frantic girl ran through corridors she had never seen before and hid behind carts in the different hallways. No one could be trusted at this point. Everyone was now a threat. She pressed herself against a wall and tried to breathe as quietly as she could. A man in a lab coat walked by and turned his head around, looking for her. Amelia wasted no time; she kicked the cart into him from behind. He fell to the floor with a crash as glass beakers broke around him. Amelia continued her escape.

How much longer do I have to run? she asked herself.

A hand grabbed the back of her uniform (a white cotton jumpsuit; she looked forward to throwing it away as soon as she managed to reach the outside world). She jerked at her shirt with one hand and the man’s grasp slipped. She quickly turned around a corner and was free of him. She didn’t wait to think how many more people could be coming.

She dashed through a few more hallways and then hid herself behind a cart to catch her breath. There was no way she could keep this up much longer.

Amelia noticed the walls were different here. The previous hallways were a blinding white tile; these were covered in blue wallpaper. Within The Agency, the bland name this organization that claimed to take care of her and so many others had called itself, the laboratories were covered in white, the meal area was yellow, the gym was dark red, and each group’s dormitory was off-white. She had not realized there was an area within the building that was blue. Then again, Amelia had never been so close to the exterior of The Agency. Naturally, there were going to be things she did not know about.

She pushed it out of her mind. There was no time to be wondering about pointless things. In a few minutes nothing inside that place would matter at all.

Wiping the sweat from the back of her neck, she regained her breath. She glanced to both sides; no one was coming. She walked over to the door and peered through a small window; the outside world lay in front of her. It was more beautiful than she ever imagined; the colors outside were so vivid. The sky was bright blue while the ground as an equally bright green. A few large, old trees shaded patches of small purple flowers growing through the fields. This was much better than she imagined. Just beyond these doors held everything she wanted—and more. Her initial anxiety was replaced with euphoria. The overjoyed girl could not help standing there, fixated. Freedom was in her grasp.

After staring outside for several moments, Amelia inhaled deeply to calm herself. Pushing the heavy door open, she ran outside and was overwhelmed by how wonderful everything smelled. Joyous, Amelia jogged away from the building just to give her a better sense of easiness. Once she felt comfortable, Amelia lay down in the field and ran her hands through the soft grass with a smile on her face and her eyes closed. She always believed the best things in life were experienced with your eyes shut. The sun was shining—it must have been close to three in the afternoon—and Amelia felt the heat on her skin. The Agency’s rooms were always dreadfully cold. The warmth was more than welcome.

For once, Amelia felt at home. In her fourteen years, she could not recall a better time than this.

But the feeling was only temporary. In her ecstasy she had forgotten that although there was some distance between the vile building and herself, that would not stop the people who were following her. A man, somewhat lean with dark hair that hid his face from view, grabbed Amelia by her blonde hair as she yelped in pain.

“We’ve caught her,” a woman said into an earpiece. She had long auburn hair that was restricted into a tight bun and wore bright make up; so many of the women in charge tried to make themselves look more attractive and less aged. They were always gossiping about an unknown man Amelia did not know. It was all silly, nonetheless.

Amelia couldn’t believe what was happening. Freedom was so close. She struggled to get up, but the man shoved her face into the ground. Cursing herself for being an idiot, she tried to move again, but once more her face was smeared into the dirt.

After this taste of bliss, she could not go back. No force on Earth would bring her back to the cold, yet oddly bright prison she and so many others were caged in.

The woman turned around and continued talking into her device. “Yes, sir. Yes, Aaron has the girl…Yes, yes. I’m sorry. We are not completely aware of the situation either. You have my apologies. We will…what? Oh, I understand. What do you suggest we do from here?”

The man leaned down next to Amelia and whispered faintly, “Do as I say and you can escape here alive.” Amelia slowly turned her head to the side and nodded. “My name is Aaron Lawrie. You may not know me, and I’m certain you don’t trust me, but I want what’s best for you.” He glanced toward the woman to verify that she was still inattentive. “In a few moments I will slowly let go of you. I’ll take care of Marcy. Do you understand?”

Amelia nodded, even though she really was not sure where this would lead. It was worth a try, at least. She could not bring herself to completely trust this man—he could be one of them—but she could not exactly bring herself to distrust him either.

“Go!” Aaron whispered, quietly standing up and moving out of her way.

Amelia stumbled to her feet and ran. Aaron took Marcy’s earpiece and shouted something about disregarding what Marcy said. The two of them started to fight over the earpiece until Marcy realized Aaron didn’t have Amelia restrained. “What’s wrong with you?” she shrieked. “Are you mad?” She then pushed Aaron out of her way and took out a small compact gun from her belt and fired. Very little sound was made and Amelia fell to the ground after feeling a sharp burn in her right leg where the bullet hit.

Aaron pulled Marcy away and knocked the gun out of her hands, but she kicked his face with her sharp heels. Blood fell from the corners of his mouth and the heels left a visible scratch above his left eye. Marcy kicked him once more, but this time in the ribs. Aaron was crippled into a ball in order to protect himself; he had never realized just how strong Marcy was. She left him on the ground and retrieved her gun. Amelia was shocked; she just lay on the ground staring at the scene before her. Marcy shot Aaron’s leg to prevent him from interfering.
Amelia wanted to cry out, but she could not find the strength in herself to do so. Frustrated, she forced herself to her feet before feeling a sharp sting in her leg and falling once more.

Why can’t I do anything? This is pathetic. I’m pathetic. I’m better than this. I can’t just let that guy get himself killed—at least not for my sake. No one’s worth dying over me. Thoughts spiraled through her head as she tried to understand what was happening.

Then her head seemed to pulse. Suddenly, there was howling.

No, stop it! Stop it! she screamed silently.

The howling became louder until she felt that terrible feeling throughout her body. She heard herself scream something and Marcy shouted something back, but she couldn’t understand anything she heard: only the howling was audible. Amelia’s vision began to blur and she panicked. Her body steadily became numb. She would do anything to make it stop; anything, anything to make it all go away; anything to keep this from happening again.

Stop! she repeated.

Marcy must have yelled something at the poor girl because she heard a shrieking voice behind all of the howling inside her head.

Suddenly the numbness went away and Amelia realized it was too late. She screamed and fought to stop it, but it was futile. Her body mutated; beautiful fur covered every inch of skin, her face elongated as it became more like a canine’s, and she was forced to stand on all fours. Paws now existed where her hands and feet previously were.

Everything became a blur of colors and odd shapes. She was unaware of what was going on and could not control herself. Teeth sunk into flesh and screams pierced the air. Claws batted away a body and rolled down a hill. Louder gunshots—they couldn’t have been from the woman—echoed around her. Blood stained her fur and the flowers under Marcy’s listless body. The blurs remained where they were.

The man—Aaron—did not scream nor did he call for help. He merely watched Amelia as she ran off into the distance. Other men in lab coats ran towards him demanding answers to their questions in hushed voices, worried about how a few children had escaped in the chaotic moment, but Aaron motioned for them to stay still and remain silent.

Perhaps man never should have toyed with nature.


__________________________________


It still needs a little bit of editing, but I like how it's turned out. I'm working on the first chapter now.

A contradiction...
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:42 pm


Ohmygosh, its fabulous!

The writing style is wonderful, and I can already see the images in my head as I read. More more more! -^^-

Wolfy-kuns

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[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:25 pm


Wolfy-kuns
Ohmygosh, its fabulous!

The writing style is wonderful, and I can already see the images in my head as I read. More more more! -^^-
You're something beautiful...



Thanks! mrgreen My rough-rough copy was very bland and lacked a lot of imagery. sweatdrop But 2 weeks ago I went through and added much more content to it, and voila!


A contradiction...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:15 am


Wow. This story is amazing. The intro is just awesome. I especially like the way you describe things, lots of emotion. 3nodding

Altgexx


[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:04 pm


Altgexx
Wow. This story is amazing. The intro is just awesome. I especially like the way you describe things, lots of emotion. 3nodding
You're something beautiful...



Thanks! I tried to convey the emotion as best as possible. At first, I didn't think I really needed an emphasis on it until I had a friend look over it and she pointed out to me that since it was Amelia's first time outside, she should be overwhelmed with joy. So I went through and tried to imagine how I would feel in her place.


A contradiction...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 9:00 am


That was exellent in my view, pretty jokes if you ask me. (No one will get why I said jokes, if you want to know it is a term for nerdfighters, that is nerds that fight not people fighting nerds, it means cool basicly.) I can't wait to read more smile

Strange And Derranged


[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:08 pm


You're something beautiful...


Thank you! whee


A contradiction...
PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:49 pm


I'm confused about this line in the first paragraph:

Quote:
For the past few years, my kind has been created and destroyed without the blink of an eye


mostly the "without" part. I'm thinking it would sound better as "within the blink of an eye".

The next little grammar thing I found was here:

Quote:
The frantic girl ran through corridors she never had never seen before and hid behind carts in the different hallways. No one could be trusted at this point.


It should be "She had never seen". It's not a big thing, just a small grammar thing. I do it too.

The last issue I found was in this line:

Quote:
Other men in lab coats ran towards him demanding questions and chattering on about a few other children who escaped, but he motioned for them to stay still and remain silent.
The grammar sounds a little off. I'm not sure how I can explain it, but the grammar feels off.

Otherwise it sounds like a good read.

Ethril the Dragon Mother
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[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:18 am


Ethril Dragon
I'm confused about this line in the first paragraph:

Quote:
For the past few years, my kind has been created and destroyed without the blink of an eye


mostly the "without" part. I'm thinking it would sound better as "within the blink of an eye".

The next little grammar thing I found was here:

Quote:
The frantic girl ran through corridors she never had never seen before and hid behind carts in the different hallways. No one could be trusted at this point.


It should be "She had never seen". It's not a big thing, just a small grammar thing. I do it too.

The last issue I found was in this line:

Quote:
Other men in lab coats ran towards him demanding questions and chattering on about a few other children who escaped, but he motioned for them to stay still and remain silent.
The grammar sounds a little off. I'm not sure how I can explain it, but the grammar feels off.

Otherwise it sounds like a good read.
[♪♪ I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated. I wanna break this spell that you've created.



I can't believe I didn't catch those. sweatdrop It's always so much harder to notice the mistakes in your own work than in others' works. xp

Thanks Ethril!

Oh, and actually, what I meant by "without the blink of an eye" was that no one cared. As in they noticed what was going on, but didn't even bat an eye at it.


You're something beautiful, a contradiction. I wanna play the game; I want the friction. ♪♪]
PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:20 am


I like this story. It has good descriptions and it kind of feels like I'm actually there. You did a great job with this.

maximum_ride_004


[ Rose ]

PostPosted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:11 pm


maximum_ride_004
I like this story. It has good descriptions and it kind of feels like I'm actually there. You did a great job with this.
[♪♪ I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated. I wanna break this spell that you've created.



Thanks! I'm finishing the first chapter right now. And I do a lot of skipping around so I can write whatever comes to me. I try to visualize what my characters are going through. 3nodding


You're something beautiful, a contradiction. I wanna play the game; I want the friction. ♪♪]
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