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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:24 am
Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?
There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.
Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.
INFATUATION
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.
Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.
Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.
Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.
LOVE
Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.
When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.
Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties. Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others.. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.
You can do the following:
1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.
2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.
3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.
4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.
5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.
7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.
8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.
9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.
10. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.
12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"
13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.
14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.
** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **
(this is not mine, I did not come up with this, I found it online and i saved it, I only recently found it)
UPDATE (by reinasama1):
Post by silverhanyou85
"infatuation is the bridge leading to love...
it always starts at infatuation, that reaction you get from someone who just grabs your attention. i cannot say what love is overall, simply because it's different for everyone. every person falls in love in a different way. at different times. i can only say what love is, in my perspective. Love is delicate as it is strong. it can overcome anything, but only if taken care of. love doesn't sustain itself. it doesn't take on a life of its own. it is simple. a bond between two people. and like any other relationship can falter but if the participants want it to, it can last for a very long time i am 25 years old and i have spent half of my life in love with the same woman. i met her 12 years ago when we were children. we started with feelings of infatuation. we both were instantly made aware of the other. something triggered the response in our adolescent minds to be closer to one another. and when we did get closer, we became friends, best friends, confidants, lovers, mates. we grew into adulthood together. we learned, made mistakes. there were times when our love could have faded but we both held on strong. we cherished the love we shared, strengthened it and let it flourish. "it's all about the little things." she tells me. she cares more about the fact that i would get her a small card with a heartfelt message than a diamond necklace. she likes that i pick her up and hold her. she likes how i whistle at her. i like how she smiles at me from across the room. i like how we still text each other every single day when we are apart. she completes me and i am not afraid to admit it. she makes me happy and i accept it. just as she does for me. we don't ask the other for anything we ourselves aren't willing to give. after all of the care we put into our relationship and after everything we've been through, our bond is unbreakable. and i say that because i have absolute trust and faith in her. she has long ago proved to me that she trusts me with her life. Love isn't complicated, but can be the most complicated thing. how do you judge if you are in love with someone? what do you look for? me? I still get that little jump in my heart when i see her sleeping. i still try to make her day just a little bit easier. just like she does for me..."
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:36 pm
HAHA I was about to applaud and tell you to write a book on it. I was also going to say, "Don't tell me this is the reason why you couldn't get your mind off her because you've been reading about love."
Wow. Unfortunately, mankind is not that perfect. Therefore, I don't think there'd be a person out there who would find "true love" because love 90 something percent of the time sparks up from infatuation. Really, without infatuation, I don't think "love' would be as interesting.
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:55 pm
Fullmoon_Twilight123 HAHA I was about to applaud and tell you to write a book on it. I was also going to say, "Don't tell me this is the reason why you couldn't get your mind off her because you've been reading about love." Wow. Unfortunately, mankind is not that perfect. Therefore, I don't think there'd be a person out there who would find "true love" because love 90 something percent of the time sparks up from infatuation. Really, without infatuation, I don't think "love' would be as interesting. and you have the right to hold that opinion.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:10 am
Wow...I agree with it all....shame I've given up on looking.
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:23 pm
Don't worry you guys. No one said that you need a guy/woman to be successful in life. Look at Tyra Banks. She's 34 and not married yet, yet she was a former supermodel, a host on her own show, a CEO, producer/exec. producer, and the host for America's Next Top Model. She's a real role model, constantly fighting for women's rights.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:49 pm
I don't like Tyra Banks....
Nope, no partners are needed! sweatdrop
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:35 am
HAHAHA... I'm not going to ask why. blaugh
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:12 pm
Fullmoon_Twilight123 HAHAHA... I'm not going to ask why. blaugh biggrin
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:15 pm
Wow... I have to say that I agree. And while it's hard for me to say right now, as I've known my boyfriend for two years but only dating him for two months I'm either in love or in that space that's infractuation growing into love.
We're careful not to say "I love you" just yet, because we don't feel we're technically in love (he's admitted it, as have I), so we just say for now "I like you a lot." We're cautious, we're serious, we treat each other with respect, praise each other, and so far so good.
But based on what I read, let me ask: I can't see myself kissing another man, though it's too early to say if I could spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. Is this love?
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:46 pm
LadyMasquerade Wow... I have to say that I agree. And while it's hard for me to say right now, as I've known my boyfriend for two years but only dating him for two months I'm either in love or in that space that's infractuation growing into love. We're careful not to say "I love you" just yet, because we don't feel we're technically in love (he's admitted it, as have I), so we just say for now "I like you a lot." We're cautious, we're serious, we treat each other with respect, praise each other, and so far so good. But based on what I read, let me ask: I can't see myself kissing another man, though it's too early to say if I could spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. Is this love? wow.. You are so lucky to have such a careful boyfriend. Cause most guys I know are straightforward, arrogant jerks. I don't know if this is love. Only you can answer it for yourself. biggrin
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:21 pm
What I have been feeling for the past 5yrs for that one person is definitely Love! :3 I've been patient for along time and this thread encouraged me even more. ^_^ I am definite sure that my love and I will reunite soon. Thanks.
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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 4:21 pm
I agree, yeahitsawesome! I just started a new relationship and I'm scared...my last one was a bit of an emotional fiasco. I admit that I'm infatuated with my boyfriend, but I really truly want to love him. It's kinda nice having love outlined like that, and yet not really pigeon-holed. Everyone experiences love differently, but there are definitely major signs if it's real or not. The shortest (and one of the best) descriptions of love I've ever heard is from Brad Henning's book Don't Take Love Lying Down: "Love is a choice. Love is making the best choice for the other person."
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 4:40 pm
Calopterynx I agree, yeahitsawesome! I just started a new relationship and I'm scared...my last one was a bit of an emotional fiasco. I admit that I'm infatuated with my boyfriend, but I really truly want to love him. It's kinda nice having love outlined like that, and yet not really pigeon-holed. Everyone experiences love differently, but there are definitely major signs if it's real or not. The shortest (and one of the best) descriptions of love I've ever heard is from Brad Henning's book Don't Take Love Lying Down: "Love is a choice. Love is making the best choice for the other person." Ooh..I like that quote. Except...what if you were just making the best choice for someone who was just ..for example, a classmate. Doesn't that mean that you just care for the feelings of others more?
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 9:19 pm
Good point, the book explains it better. Basically, that's the explanation of what true love is, without the emotional side. Because it is possible to truly love everyone, not just your romantic interest. For example lots of people love their family and friends, and some are even able to love strangers by doing what's best for them for the short time that they're in each other's lives. So yes, you could call it "caring." But if love isn't caring, than I don't want any part of it.
i hope that makes sense even vaguely sweatdrop
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Fullmoon_Sagashite123 Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:33 am
Calopterynx Good point, the book explains it better. Basically, that's the explanation of what true love is, without the emotional side. Because it is possible to truly love everyone, not just your romantic interest. For example lots of people love their family and friends, and some are even able to love strangers by doing what's best for them for the short time that they're in each other's lives. So yes, you could call it "caring." But if love isn't caring, than I don't want any part of it. i hope that makes sense even vaguely sweatdrop Yah. It does make sense. Thanks. I think that's one of the best explanations that one can give because to explain love and caring is really hard. It's not something that you can put into words. biggrin So basically, caring also comes out from love. It would make no sense if caring came from hatred. xd
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