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 Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:14 pm
But he hadn't.
In fact, the stallion didn't just continue to surprise her by sticking within her near vicinity but he continued to dote upon her like she was something special. Every little nuzzle, every murmur of affection or kind word seemed to hit her harder than any cruelty ever had; every time she expected some sort of complaint or reprimand she found only love and devotion. The gentle way she had caught him looking at her, the constant and faithful reminders of his guardianship tossed the mare in a state of confusion and uncertainty every time.
In fact, this war was the most exhausting battle she had ever encountered! The darkness within her continued to try to push Tobias out and for the first couple days she had been very quiet and even a little apathetic and cool. She thought that perhaps living like she always had would turn him off and away from her, and then she could prove herself right.
Ah, but it didn't seem to sway the stallions feelings any. . . And he put up with it, and tolerated her with a patience she couldn't imagine. Besides, he was her friend. . . She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she knew she might have. And an even smaller part of her feared kicking him out of her life permanently - after all his promises, after all his kindness, oh how hurt she'd be if he did leave. But he deserved happiness. . . . but he also deserved to make his choice.
That's what he had told her. . . . and that's what she had to constantly remind herself of. This was his choice. . . . And would be until it changed. So why couldn't she appreciate it? Appreciate him while she was chosen to be in his life. . . .
That would be the intelligent thing to do, wouldn't it?
Furthermore, Cassiel herself couldn't keep up the front very much longer. It was too hard to ignore him, too hard to be brusque and try to force him to leave. He wasn't budging an inch and Cassiel wasn't notorious for her strength of will. . . So slowly, a quiet understanding was building amidst her confusion. The dust of her battle was starting to settle and Tobias was still there. . . . a pillar, in a way, a stallion who had yet to up and leave. It scared her, as if she were stepping on to thing ice, but after the days and time spent with his constant attention. . .
Cassiel had to admit she liked it. And if he only knew how much she quietly adored him, for his strength, for his willingness to put up with her and her weaknesses. . . The feelings of adoration she had felt as a filly had returned tenfold. In fact, what scared her even more was that she was slowly realizing that she could take a hundred abandonments by Ezriel if . . .if only her purple knight might stay near.
But could she hope?
He'd lasted this long. . . . and if she did see him as a friend and if she did want to appreciate his time spent, wouldn't it be only right to try to keep him around? So Cassiel had slowly and without realizing it dropped a few of her walls, a few of her barriers. She talked more readily and wasn't quite as standoffish. . . and this morning she had left him a few wildflowers by his head while he rested.
She didn't know WHY she did it. . . but he had given her offerings of sweet grasses and berries that one night. . . and flowers were soft and beautiful and sweet and everything she wasn't. But she'd seen doting mares and stallions leave gifts, and it was the first thing she had thought of.
Well. . . maybe he wouldn't notice. Grazing a few yards away, having risen early, Cassiel debated going back and kicking them away. He might laugh, he might think it silly and stupid of her, or . . . or something. Lost in debate, unsure whether such a gesture was a good thing to do, the mare couldn't help but worry and fear his reaction.
What if he didn't like flowers? Flowers were for mares, weren't they? But they were purple, like him, and had some pink and white dotted as well. And on top of it, they smelled nice. . .
So . . . . . he couldn't be THAT upset by them? Right? Oh bother. Why was everything so nerve wracking!?
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:14 pm
It was slow progress, but he could sense a loosening, a relaxing, as time passed. She didn't look quite so panicked... most of the time, anyway. Things had settled into a more predictable pattern. They had stayed in the same area where she had fallen that first fateful night. There was an odd feeling of delicacy to their slowly growing relationship. It felt as if going somewhere else would break the spell, and he might lose her. So deep was his desire to win her heart, he was careful to stay close and never leave her side.
They spent days grazing in the meadow nearby and talking about incidental things. He didn't press her about her dark past, nor why she had been in such a state. He merely kept her company, chatting idly, and watching her gain her strength and lose that gaunt look. Perhaps, when she was healthy again, he could coax her to come with him, back to his family's lands. Luca might not stay there so much any more, but Leon certainly did. He knew his gentle brother would be kindly to his love, and understand Tobi's strong protective instinct towards Cassiel.
For now, though, he was enjoying a nice doze before having to fully awaken. He heard Cassiel moving about nearby, but remained relaxed and comfortably sleepy. But finally, he knew it was time to get moving. He stretched his neck and yawned at the sky, only then finally opening his eyes to blink against the morning sunlight. After screatching a few itches, he finally began to notice the world around him. A flash of color drew his eyes, and laying there was what could only be seen as a gift. He lowered his nose to the delicate blossoms and gently inhaled their lovely fragrance. How very like his love they were! Beautiful and delicate, easy to crush, but something that any but a fool would gently treasure.
He raised his head to look for her, eyes shining happily. Spotting her, he whickered low and soft, beckoning her to him as he stood over the gift. He beamed at her as she neared, and then spoke when she was close enough to not shout. "They are beautiful, Cassiel, thank you." He porued his feelings into those simple words, reaching to nuzzle her lovingly. "I'm touched that you thought of me. Would you please put them in my mane? Up near my ears, where they won't fall out." He arched his neck downwards and present his poll to her, trusting and meek as a lamb.
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:50 pm
She told herself she couldn't be any more surprised and yet . . . here she stood, dumbfounded. His words were so soft, so endearing, and all meant for her. His nuzzle, fleeting as it was, seemed to cause her cheek and neck to tingle even after he moved away. What on earth was happening~!?
She didn't deserve such kindness. . . . but it was his choice to give.
Her darkness tried to convince her to run but for once Cassiel felt as if her hooves needed to stay planted. Why did she have to be the one to run away all the time? Couldn't, for once, she let him take a head start and off and away? Let him be like her father, let him prove her right. . . So no, running was not an option this time. For once in her life she was going to stay.
Shyly, delicately but without a word, the quiet mare picked up her flowers. Relief had caused the butterflies in her stomach to vanish, only to be replaced by a new sense of turmoil; embarrassment by the genuine fondness in his voice caused her nose to stain pink and her ebony gaze to drop away. It was strange to be around the violet stallion; he always seemed to know exactly what needed to be said and to do to keep her drowning in confusion.
And strangely enough. . . it wasn't so bad. The confusion she felt caused her frustration, certainly, but it also left her feeling strangely good. She had always cared about her friend and such feelings hadn't wavered, but the young mare feared what might happen if she did grow too attached. So many what ifs and uncertainties. . . . but that was what the future held.
Shaking her tumult of emotions aside, the ebony maned mare gently did as instructed, tucking the flowers neatly behind his ears. Stepping back, she canted her head to admire the handiwork - even with flowers draped in his mane, he looked ever handsome. Oh bother. . had she just thought that?
Averting her gaze once again, Cassiel softly spoke, though she couldn't hide the small smile from tugging at her features. She was pleased he chose to wear them and not laugh at her pitiful attempt to offer a gift. " I . . I fear I'm not very creative with the offering." Next time she'd find something better, more worthy of his attention. Next time. "But I'm glad you . . you like them. Truly."
If her words didn't convince him, she shadow of a smile that crossed her features would.
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:47 pm
He smiled down upon the dark-eyed beauty he'd chosen for a mate. Oh, he wouldn't tell her for some time yet. Not for a long time yet, perhaps. But his mind was made up entirely. She needed him, and whether she understood it or not, he needed her. She gave him a purpose he had lacked. He had never felt quite right, rattling about the world without a care. He'd dallied with mares, feeling no emotional attatchments whatsoever. It had bothered him, but he chalked it up to just perhaps that he wasn't capable of that kind of love.
Finding Cassie the way he had proved him wrong. All those surging, driving feelings he'd lacked with the random lovers he'd had came roaring down upon him, blasting his lifestyle to smitherines and binding hiim forever to his foalhood friend. Instinct to protect, to comfort, to truly love had all come flooding in, and he could no more deny it than he could forbid the sun to rise. He was quite honestly and happily madly in love with the despondant mare.
Thus it was that he could not help but beam at her as she spoke shyly of her gift to him. "My love, creativity is not something I require. The very gift of having you in my life is more than enough to make any other present pale in comparison." He moved cloase, nuzzling along her neck and blowing softly upon her cheek. How he longed for her to grow confident enough to not just accept, but to give such affection back! To show him how she felt in a gesture that wasn't only reciprocation. Sometimes he worried that she only showed such physical affection out of a sense of duty or obligation. But surely by now, she knew that such a thing wasn't necessary? He wanted her love, but she wasn't required to give it. As much as it was his choice to stay and to shower her with affection and adoration, it was her choice whether to accept and return it or reject it.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, letting his thoughts flow away from his anxieties and back towards caring for her. Her sides were showing that she'd been eating better, and their slow, pacing walks around the meadow over the last few days had shown that her strength was returning. He almost hated to bring up the future, but eventually they would have to come to face it. "Do you think you'll feel well enough to travel soon?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:45 pm
Why did he have to be like that? Every time such words slipped from his maw the young mare felt . . . odd. Part of her was stunned speechless, a whirl of confusion causing her to waver and hesitate as she sought to find some response. But another part of her soaked up the praise like a dry sponge did water; she needed to hear it, secretly wanted to hear it, and felt oddly giddy and silly within. As if she wanted to laugh and smile, as if she wanted to shine. . . but for him and just him. Only him.
Ah, but such light wasn't easy to understand. Not within a soul that had been carved out of night and constantly under attack with negativity and woe. She had been born with a broken heart and only now, for the first time, were the pieces slowly starting to be placed back together. It was going to take time . . . and a lot of it. . . but Cassiel wanted her friend back within her life.
He had fought for her once. . . he now seemed to want to do it again.
It didn't make sense for him to do such a thing; to sacrifice himself for her of all soquili. But he had reminded her ever so gently that it was his choice to be here and Cassiel wasn't one to put up much of a fight. She was too weak of will to do such a thing, too apathetic to bother but most importantly, at least this time around, she didn't want him to leave. Though it caused her anxiety, a soft fear to realize this, Cassiel was trying her best to just let things happen as they may.
"My love". Such words caused her nose to flush and her head to dip a bit, long black mane falling over her features. She? A gift? Oh, she wanted to to say something to cut herself down but refrained. . .Cassiel couldn't bring herself to ruin it. Not this morning, not right now. . . So biting back a typical response, she said nothing instead. She was no gift. . . but if he wanted to think so . . . such was his choice.
Gingerly, hesitantly, the young mare allowed her own nose to brush coyly against his cheek. It was a feather touch, hardly noticeable really, and her ebony eyes watched him like a feral cat might a stray hand. She knew he wouldn't object or strike but . . . . a small fear wondered yet if he'd change his mind.
Maybe this moment would ruin it. . . maybe this next breath would cause her to wake from such a beautiful dream and transform her back into her nightmare reality.
Thankfully now wasn't it.
"I am well today," She responded softly. Her ears twitched a bit as he brought up travel. . . travel? Where would they be going? Cassiel suddenly feared leaving the pleasant grove, afraid of what she might find outside of the tender time they had together. Would everything change when they were away? "I . . . I believe so. Where might we . . . go?" It felt odd using the term 'we' and she hoped he might not mind.
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Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:41 pm
His heart stilled and thean thrilled in a vibration of ecstatic joy as she chose, of her own, to reach for him in affection. He wanted to leap to the sky and bugle his happiness, but he restrained himself from startling his shy lady. What did come out was a delighted nicker he couldn't contina, a trilling sound of surprised happiness. How his eyes glowed from the love within as he gazed at her! He felt as if he could burst.
Taking a breath to steady himself, he whickered softer and gently touched his nose to hers. It wasn't even exactly a nuzzle, but almost as if his heart were touching hers, a simple pressing together in companionship and love. "I was hoping you might like to go see Mother," he replied to her question. "She loves you almost as much as I do," he continued, grinning down at her with an expression that clearly said that this was a great feat for someone to love her equal to his own, "and would love to know you are doing well."
And she was. Doing better, anyway. Their time spent together had strengthened her, filled in some of the terrible hollows from lack of eating. Her coat was regaining a sheen of health, and her eyes were no longer so sunken and shadowed. His lovely lady was emerging from the sadness that had been chained to her and dragging her beneath the choking waters of despair. No more, he had silently vowed many time. No more would she feel alone, despairing, without hope. Ever.
"Do you think you would mind visiting her?" It was an honest inquiry. If she decided against it, he would remain here with her. It was plain in his voice. Even if they had not yet addressed it openly, he was bound willingly to her, heart and soul. He was hers for the having.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:57 pm
Cassiel heard his whicker and had to stop herself from pinning her ears in alarm. The noise he made had been far from negitive nor was there an ounce of objection within; black eyes studied his form as she held her breath and waited for something to happen . . . would he push her away or cast her aside?
No.
Tobias wasn't going to hurt her or reject her and such a thought was terribly hard to believe. So as the violet and white haired stallion pressed his nose against her own, she couldn't help but feel a warmth spread within her heart. All the time she had spent alone, cold, and broken was slowly begining to transform. There was something addicting about her foal hood companion, something that made Cassiel fear the future. She didn't necessarily fear Tobias but she did worry that he might someday leave her. That he might find someone better, might wake and realize he had made a terrible mistake.
He was fast becoming a piece of her life and she couldn't bear the thought of going on without him. It had been terribly hard to turn away from the love and support both Luca and he had given her as a filly; to have it once again and ten times as potent Cassiel knew she couldn't shake her champion again. If their relationship fell apart it was because of his choice to do such a thing. . . . and such a day the young mare never wanted to face!
It was a struggle but Cassiel did her best to push such fears to the wayside. With a small swish of her tail she focused on his words and tried to be as open to the thought as possible. He wished to see mother. . . to see Luca once again. Furthermore he wished to take her with! A small lump of panic began to build, and her ears pinned briefly as she ducked her head beneath his chin, resting against his neck.
There was something comforting about his presence and touch. He truly was becoming her knight, her prince, her Tobias.
What would Luca think to see her again? Might the violet mare be upset upon seeing her? Might she grow livid to see the filly that ran away with no thanks or words? Would she wonder if perhaps Cassiel might once again run away and break her sons heart? Oh dear. . . To face Tobias' judgement was hard enough but to see Luca?
Silence spread as the cogs turned; part of her wanted ot say no, to never leave their place of solitude and to keep Tobias forever. But on the other hoof that wouldn't be fair to Tobie and, furthermore, she did want to see the mare again. Even if she had to face potential wrath. . . .
Surely Luca wouldn't give her anything she didn't deserve, right?
Glancing up, still making sure to keep some form of contact Cassiel finally gave a little nod. Averting her gaze, else he might catch sight of quiet concern, the mare pawed lightly at the ground. "Do you really think she might be glad to see me?" The young mare didn't mean to sound so unsure but Tobias knew Luca best.
"If you don't think she'd object to seeing me I'd. . . . I'd like very much to see her again." She might not sound as confident about the choice but it was something she knew she could do. Furthermore, she wanted to do it. . . .
Mostly.
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