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hospitalflowers

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:58 am


Locked Away (Working title.)


The part of me that once was
Is now gone
And that's because...

All the times you said I'm loved,
All the times you promised me forever.
All the times you said we'd last,
And now we're only a thing of the past.

Yeah, I'd like to say I miss you
But that would be a lie
Because the part of me
That once was--
Was hardly better than you.

So I'm taking all these memories
And storing them away
In a metal box behind closed bars
Because it's better that way.

Yeah, I'd like to say I miss you,
But that would be a lie
Because the part of me
That once was--
Was hardly better than you.

Yeah, the part of me that once was
Is now gone,
And that's because...

All those times you said I'm loved
All those times you promised me forever
All those times you said we'd last,
And now we're only a thing of the past.

You probably thought I'd sink without you,
That I'd probably wither away.
Well, I've got proof, bud,
And now, I'll show you why.

Because I'd like to say I miss you,
But that would be a lie
Because that part of me
That once was--
Was hardly better than you.

So I took all our memories
And locked them all away
In a metal box behind closed bars,
And that's where you're going to stay.


So yep, there it is. These are the lyrics, it's kinda a country/pop kinda song if that helps you any with the word flow. Anybody up to help me?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:09 pm


I do not think this needs any improvement from when I was reading it. It flowed nicely and I could catch the beat a bit. I'd love to hear this sung out as a whole.

Kitt Cloud
Crew

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The Oxford Comma

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:39 pm


I agree with Kita. Very nice. You should really consider finding a good band to play with. I'd love to hear it.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:41 am


You guys really think so?

I have been looking for a band... but... well, seeing as I'm fourteen and the bands in my neighborhood range from the ages fourteen to forty, they're all all guy groups and the guys my age have hated me since elementary... oops. Guess I'll just have to wait and see where life takes me.

hospitalflowers

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:40 pm


I Am SO Oatmeal
You guys really think so?

I have been looking for a band... but... well, seeing as I'm fourteen and the bands in my neighborhood range from the ages fourteen to forty, they're all all guy groups and the guys my age have hated me since elementary... oops. Guess I'll just have to wait and see where life takes me.

-nods- great advice to flow by. "wait and see where life takes you".
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