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 Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:59 am
I've always had low/zero confidence in myself. Not just my looks, but my intelligence and personality also.
But since I've started to become less depressed I've been feeling better about myself. I'm not amazing my anyone's standards, but I know i'm not a hag, and not an idiot and I'm not the worst person in the world.
And now I need to work on how self concious I am and become more independant, which I think will help.
But I'm still dreading prom.
Everyone (Who's seen me in my prom dress as of far) says I looks like a model in it (Would have to be a plus size model. I love them biggrin ), but I don't believe it because I have never seen myself as pretty.
But I'm gunna work to get my confidence up anyway.
Pointers?
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:32 am
yea if had low confidence aswell it got worse when i turned 11 im 14 now
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:06 am
Chemical_obsession I've always had low/zero confidence in myself. Not just my looks, but my intelligence and personality also. But since I've started to become less depressed I've been feeling better about myself. I'm not amazing my anyone's standards, but I know i'm not a hag, and not an idiot and I'm not the worst person in the world. And now I need to work on how self concious I am and become more independant, which I think will help. But I'm still dreading prom. Everyone (Who's seen me in my prom dress as of far) says I looks like a model in it (Would have to be a plus size model. I love them biggrin ), but I don't believe it because I have never seen myself as pretty. But I'm gunna work to get my confidence up anyway. Pointers? Hun, been through the same thing. People at prom told me I looked pretty and outstanding, so I mainly said thank you. But never quite believed them. But after just seeing strangers saying it, maybe it's not just a fools chance they're saying it. Once you get down to just saying a simple thank you, with your head held high, you will slowly feel a bit more secure with yourself. You have to love who you are within fully, to accept yourself with the outer appearance. It's only flesh and bones, it doesn't make up for the wonderful person you are within. And that's what people take away with negativity on appearance, is it tares you down inside, not outside. So just start to believe you can do this, believe you are a wonderful person, accept who you are, and don't feel insecure to be you. Yeah I know I have room to talk, I hardly ever feel pretty b/c of my weight, but I learn to love myself from time to time for just being myself, not caring about what my size is, I'm perfect being me, and if people can't accept me as I am because of my outer appearance, awell.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:27 pm
I have confidence issues, which is really hard to deal with in my line of work. I'm a resident manager/leasing consultant, so my job is selling an image. I always freak out whenever I have to talk to new people, so I took this job on purpose, to force myself to put myself 'out there'.
(Trust me, i'll bring it around to the OP in a sec)
Anyways - dealing with the stuff in my background helped a little, but I still can't get over my internal dialogue and self-doubt. The image I have to portray is high-class, and I've never equated fat with high class. The benefits to my job is that I have to dress a certain way, keep my hair done, etc. Dressing up everyday is really helpful, because I feel like i look good. I broke down and got a consultation with a personal shopper a couple of years ago, and learned how to dress to flatter my body type and build. I'm freaking tall for a chick, plus i'm plus-sized, so my choices are rather limited.
Anyways - for your prom -
Have fun! Wear a dress that you KNOW makes yourself look awesome. Get yo hair did by a professional, and a make-over at the department store, too smile You've done modeling, so you KNOW that you are pretty to the mainstream - but no amount of people complementing you is going to change the doubt you have inside.
I'm a big fan of 'Fake it till ya make it' - I fake it every day when I deal with people, and i haven't made it yet, but I am in a better place than I was a few years ago. I'm still obsessed with my body, my image, my weight, my appearance, my paranoid suspicions... but I'm slowly letting go and becoming more comfortable with myself. I think that there's just a lot of negativity that we are raised with and that affects us no matter what our age is, nor our size. My friends disgust me because they constantly talk about how fat they are, or how ugly they are, (yea, okay sure you are, miss size four *eyeroll*) when I sit there and feel like the d.u.f.f., but if I say anything negative about myself, they jump all over my a** and give me grief for saying anything.
There's no quick fix to re-gaining confidence. I have years of abuse and self-depreciation to work against, and I also have my brain saying constantly how huge and ugly I am, but I look at it like this: I can go for eight hours a day pretending to be pretty and high-class, so what's a few more minutes?
I know that this didn't help at all, and it was mostly rambling, and now i sound like the resident crazy person but I hope you have fun at your prom. What does your dress look like?
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:45 pm
I have always had confidence issues crying I'll think I'm to ugly, to fat, to many pimples, to stupid... yeah. Today I had a confidence issue! I was working and an old friend of mines mom came up to my register. My friend is in Japan right now studying abroad. I felt kind of dumb cause here I am working at a cash register and she's in Japan studying at a University.
Kids made fun of me a lot when I was younger. I felt like a black sheep among all the kids; none of them seemed to be like me looks and personality wise. A lot of them made fun of me and betrayed me. I just felt lonely; I would think that I was going to be alone the rest of my life. By the time I was in high school not many people made fun of my looks and now in college everyone is so much more accepting of others it's so great.
I believe the only way to conquer these issues is to love your self (and I'm sure you've heard this before). I hate that I don't love myself because I get into such crappy situations all because I had no confidence in me. I have become more confident. When I hear someone say I'm ugly I just ignore them or just say something back at them xp But really what I have most trouble with is my own insults. I try really hard to fight those demons cause in the end they always hurt me. Don't let these things happen to you.
I think you look beautiful! I bet you looked great in your prom dress and lots of people were amazed! Really you are! Take it from a bunny who thinks your cute! Now go shout it out to the world I'm beautiful! scream
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:20 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:31 pm
I never went to my prom...I figured I was too fat to go and everything was made for thin people. I was 260 graduating High School and was suicidal till about the age of 19 (I'm 22 now). I admit it's hard to break the pattern and think good thought about yourself; but if you find one special person- or one person you can openly confide in; you'll find you have a major self esteem boost.
My boyfriend was actully the one who did this for me. I dropped a ton of weight (I'm 195 now at 5'9 biggrin ). And I've cared about my body and my well being since I've been with him for 3 years. He still proves to be a confindence booster- plus it's even better he likes big girls; so this means I don't have to give up my Oreos and he'll support my love of KFC yay!
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:06 pm
AHAHHA
I JUST NOTICED MY POST, FTW?
It was for another thing..
ohman.
xD
WELL.
That guy's gorgeous anyway, so I guess he can stay.
PS: The other forum was in the GD about what you would dress like if you were the opposite gender.
MY BAD.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:25 am
Bunneh Dearest AHAHHA
I JUST NOTICED MY POST, FTW?
It was for another thing..
ohman.
xD
WELL.
That guy's gorgeous anyway, so I guess he can stay.
PS: The other forum was in the GD about what you would dress like if you were the opposite gender.
MY BAD. Are you cheating on us?? smile
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:50 am
Soarin` I never went to my prom...I figured I was too fat to go and everything was made for thin people. I was 260 graduating High School and was suicidal till about the age of 19 (I'm 22 now). I admit it's hard to break the pattern and think good thought about yourself; but if you find one special person- or one person you can openly confide in; you'll find you have a major self esteem boost. My boyfriend was actully the one who did this for me. I dropped a ton of weight (I'm 195 now at 5'9 biggrin ). And I've cared about my body and my well being since I've been with him for 3 years. He still proves to be a confindence booster- plus it's even better he likes big girls; so this means I don't have to give up my Oreos and he'll support my love of KFC yay! But now they're making things for bigger females, which is nice. It's good you found someone who helps to build you up. Makes me wish I had someone to do that for and with. But sadly enough, I'm always "too nice" or "too mean" "not pretty enough" or "you're just plain weird" So not much of confidence boosters there, but I have friends that love my individuality and support me through it. Most encourage it, and help me keep going through everyday life knowing I'm loved and appreciated just being myself. I think everyone needs those people, friends, lovers, family who support them and love them. Encourage them to strive for goals. And if you're big, I don't think it's so much a big deal, and have people that accept you for it.
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:25 pm
Aw.
Prom is the best.
I went to junior prom last year but not senior prom.
There was a dress drive thing and me and my friends went to see if we could find us some dresses. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't find one because I was SO much bigger than like..the universe. lol
So we go to the place and stuffed in the very back of the rack was a gorgeous apple red halter dress from david's bridal.
It was brand new, never worn. I went into the little dressing room and tried it on. It was too big! I was like "aw snap!" so I walked out of the room and everyone got really quiet. Then this fabulously homosexual man walked up to me and said "Girl if you don't get that dress, I'll slap yo mama"
I went up to the front where the people working told me that that dress was a bridesmaids dress but the wedding was cancelled and that there was a matching crystal tiara with it.
I left that store with 600 dollars worth of stuff that I got for free.
It was amazing.
Right before prom, my friends, our dates, and I went to the mall so my arcade friends could admire my beauty (lol).
Random guys actually stopped us and asked me to take pictures with them. It was amazing.
I didn't go to prom this year cause I didn't have a date, and didn't feel like looking for one. So I went to the club. lol I went to the breakfast after prom with my friend though. I was still wearing my club clothes which consisted of a super short pink and purple dress that was really a shirt, hot pink stilettos, a purple necklace and tons of bracelets.
Needless to say, everyones parents were in shock but all my fellow classmates thought it looked great.
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:03 pm
OMFG itz Amber Aw. Prom is the best. I went to junior prom last year but not senior prom. There was a dress drive thing and me and my friends went to see if we could find us some dresses. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't find one because I was SO much bigger than like..the universe. lol So we go to the place and stuffed in the very back of the rack was a gorgeous apple red halter dress from david's bridal. It was brand new, never worn. I went into the little dressing room and tried it on. It was too big! I was like "aw snap!" so I walked out of the room and everyone got really quiet. Then this fabulously homosexual man walked up to me and said "Girl if you don't get that dress, I'll slap yo mama" I went up to the front where the people working told me that that dress was a bridesmaids dress but the wedding was cancelled and that there was a matching crystal tiara with it. I left that store with 600 dollars worth of stuff that I got for free. It was amazing. Right before prom, my friends, our dates, and I went to the mall so my arcade friends could admire my beauty (lol). Random guys actually stopped us and asked me to take pictures with them. It was amazing. I didn't go to prom this year cause I didn't have a date, and didn't feel like looking for one. So I went to the club. lol I went to the breakfast after prom with my friend though. I was still wearing my club clothes which consisted of a super short pink and purple dress that was really a shirt, hot pink stilettos, a purple necklace and tons of bracelets. Needless to say, everyones parents were in shock but all my fellow classmates thought it looked great. Aw that's really amazing. Too bad you didn't go though. I went this year for junior prom. I didn't have a date, but hung out with friends, and had an amazing time. But it sounds like you had more of a blast doing something different. ^_^ Wish I could do that, but I'm more of afraidy cat. lol
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:20 pm
Luna_Naomi_Loveless Soarin` I never went to my prom...I figured I was too fat to go and everything was made for thin people. I was 260 graduating High School and was suicidal till about the age of 19 (I'm 22 now). I admit it's hard to break the pattern and think good thought about yourself; but if you find one special person- or one person you can openly confide in; you'll find you have a major self esteem boost. My boyfriend was actully the one who did this for me. I dropped a ton of weight (I'm 195 now at 5'9 biggrin ). And I've cared about my body and my well being since I've been with him for 3 years. He still proves to be a confindence booster- plus it's even better he likes big girls; so this means I don't have to give up my Oreos and he'll support my love of KFC yay! But now they're making things for bigger females, which is nice. It's good you found someone who helps to build you up. Makes me wish I had someone to do that for and with. But sadly enough, I'm always "too nice" or "too mean" "not pretty enough" or "you're just plain weird" So not much of confidence boosters there, but I have friends that love my individuality and support me through it. Most encourage it, and help me keep going through everyday life knowing I'm loved and appreciated just being myself. I think everyone needs those people, friends, lovers, family who support them and love them. Encourage them to strive for goals. And if you're big, I don't think it's so much a big deal, and have people that accept you for it. See I had that problem too. But my boyfriend seams to be on the same wavelength that I'm on. That very 'disturbed' wavelength that only the two of us can understand. Trust me you'll meet a guy- and when you do he'll be the right one. I was a recluse till 19 one my friends from High school found me and dragged me over to his friends in our new college. I again was like super quite then I'm not sure what happened after that but me and my boyfriend started talking and making weird jokes... So later he asks to walk me to class- and I was like sure why not *shrug* So we walk to class and everyone of my friends 'hugs' each other as a way of saying goodbye- well we went in for the hug....and smacked heads leaving HUGE welt marks on each others forheads. After that we knew we were right for each other- and we've been together over 3 years biggrin He didn't even care I was fat when he asked me out- as I thought nobody would love me because I looked like Cow-zilla. sweatdrop And he's extremly cute too biggrin So just keep your chin up things happen in miraculus ways.
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:32 am
Soarin` Luna_Naomi_Loveless Soarin` I never went to my prom...I figured I was too fat to go and everything was made for thin people. I was 260 graduating High School and was suicidal till about the age of 19 (I'm 22 now). I admit it's hard to break the pattern and think good thought about yourself; but if you find one special person- or one person you can openly confide in; you'll find you have a major self esteem boost. My boyfriend was actully the one who did this for me. I dropped a ton of weight (I'm 195 now at 5'9 biggrin ). And I've cared about my body and my well being since I've been with him for 3 years. He still proves to be a confindence booster- plus it's even better he likes big girls; so this means I don't have to give up my Oreos and he'll support my love of KFC yay! But now they're making things for bigger females, which is nice. It's good you found someone who helps to build you up. Makes me wish I had someone to do that for and with. But sadly enough, I'm always "too nice" or "too mean" "not pretty enough" or "you're just plain weird" So not much of confidence boosters there, but I have friends that love my individuality and support me through it. Most encourage it, and help me keep going through everyday life knowing I'm loved and appreciated just being myself. I think everyone needs those people, friends, lovers, family who support them and love them. Encourage them to strive for goals. And if you're big, I don't think it's so much a big deal, and have people that accept you for it. See I had that problem too. But my boyfriend seams to be on the same wavelength that I'm on. That very 'disturbed' wavelength that only the two of us can understand. Trust me you'll meet a guy- and when you do he'll be the right one. I was a recluse till 19 one my friends from High school found me and dragged me over to his friends in our new college. I again was like super quite then I'm not sure what happened after that but me and my boyfriend started talking and making weird jokes... So later he asks to walk me to class- and I was like sure why not *shrug* So we walk to class and everyone of my friends 'hugs' each other as a way of saying goodbye- well we went in for the hug....and smacked heads leaving HUGE welt marks on each others forheads. After that we knew we were right for each other- and we've been together over 3 years biggrin He didn't even care I was fat when he asked me out- as I thought nobody would love me because I looked like Cow-zilla. sweatdrop And he's extremly cute too biggrin So just keep your chin up things happen in miraculus ways. Awe, that's a cute story. I'm glad you all have eachother, and it's adorable how you all got together. I am trying to keep my chin up. But I think it's more of I need to forgive myself and others first and quite hating myself so much. And just let things go. But I'm still going on. I used to be a hermit, but now I'm getting out there a bit. Tired of feeling insecure about myself. And I know if someone is right for me, they'll see me as I am, and accept me. And the same with me for them. So I'm not really rushing for a relationship. When it happens, it happens. But for now, it's fun to gawk at other fish in the sea. lol >_<
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:12 pm
Luna_Naomi_Loveless Soarin` Luna_Naomi_Loveless Soarin` I never went to my prom...I figured I was too fat to go and everything was made for thin people. I was 260 graduating High School and was suicidal till about the age of 19 (I'm 22 now). I admit it's hard to break the pattern and think good thought about yourself; but if you find one special person- or one person you can openly confide in; you'll find you have a major self esteem boost. My boyfriend was actully the one who did this for me. I dropped a ton of weight (I'm 195 now at 5'9 biggrin ). And I've cared about my body and my well being since I've been with him for 3 years. He still proves to be a confindence booster- plus it's even better he likes big girls; so this means I don't have to give up my Oreos and he'll support my love of KFC yay! But now they're making things for bigger females, which is nice. It's good you found someone who helps to build you up. Makes me wish I had someone to do that for and with. But sadly enough, I'm always "too nice" or "too mean" "not pretty enough" or "you're just plain weird" So not much of confidence boosters there, but I have friends that love my individuality and support me through it. Most encourage it, and help me keep going through everyday life knowing I'm loved and appreciated just being myself. I think everyone needs those people, friends, lovers, family who support them and love them. Encourage them to strive for goals. And if you're big, I don't think it's so much a big deal, and have people that accept you for it. See I had that problem too. But my boyfriend seams to be on the same wavelength that I'm on. That very 'disturbed' wavelength that only the two of us can understand. Trust me you'll meet a guy- and when you do he'll be the right one. I was a recluse till 19 one my friends from High school found me and dragged me over to his friends in our new college. I again was like super quite then I'm not sure what happened after that but me and my boyfriend started talking and making weird jokes... So later he asks to walk me to class- and I was like sure why not *shrug* So we walk to class and everyone of my friends 'hugs' each other as a way of saying goodbye- well we went in for the hug....and smacked heads leaving HUGE welt marks on each others forheads. After that we knew we were right for each other- and we've been together over 3 years biggrin He didn't even care I was fat when he asked me out- as I thought nobody would love me because I looked like Cow-zilla. sweatdrop And he's extremly cute too biggrin So just keep your chin up things happen in miraculus ways. Awe, that's a cute story. I'm glad you all have eachother, and it's adorable how you all got together. I am trying to keep my chin up. But I think it's more of I need to forgive myself and others first and quite hating myself so much. And just let things go. But I'm still going on. I used to be a hermit, but now I'm getting out there a bit. Tired of feeling insecure about myself. And I know if someone is right for me, they'll see me as I am, and accept me. And the same with me for them. So I'm not really rushing for a relationship. When it happens, it happens. But for now, it's fun to gawk at other fish in the sea. lol >_< I still haven't forgiven myself for anything in my past. Though I have learned to deal with it abit more. I couldn't get along with people at all- and I still have trouble at times of stress. I also don't think any of us really stop self hating. It's just we learn how to deal with it abit more as we get older. But don't worry everyone's got a fish out there wink
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