Everything i could say with just one whisper is gone Everything you siad put an end to every dream i had
you took a part of me youll never know you burned me way down to my soul
you have no idea the paqin youve caused
you had no idea
Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:15 pm
This poem is interesting. It feels a little flat. Your capitalizations are a bit odd, as some words, which would need no capitalization seem to be capitalized, while other's that would normally have capitalization have none. If every beginning sentence was capitalized I could understand a bit more clearly, but as it looks to be only one word, twice, it somewhat throws me off. I can see you're going for simplicity and it's a good start. Your grammatical and punctuational errors such as "You'll", "Pain" and "You've" make this a bit of a weak poem. I'd say it's a fair poem, one of a sad tale of betrayal, just a bit rushed.