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AntoniaMerEnfant

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:26 am


(Here is one of my old reflections of dating. Mostly it was directed towards my emotionally abusive ex. But it fit a lot of past "suitors")

The Prey’s Advice to the Predator

You come to me with a net of silk. Rose petals and kisses lining the steel trap coated in arsenic. The fetters that bind me are your promises and predictions of happier times. I do not want to leave and I do not want to stay. Stalking your prey with the eyes of a lover; a fair and cunning predator you make. Yet your nets will not trap me, nor will your ropes snare me. Your spears cannot pierce a heart of stone, nor can a cage keep the liberated soul. How upset you get at your elusive game you seasoned hunter. In your boastfulness, your pride, you believed you would trap me soon. I sit, seemingly docile in your entrapment, all the while freer than anything you have encountered. I will not be the token of your skill. I am something much more magical than the ordinary catch. You sought a horse and found a Unicorn. You tracked a lizard and were following a dragon. I have emerged from the realm of your dreams and you foolishly approach me as a figment of your reality.

My darling hunter, my foolish predator. You must abdicate all you have known before. I am an original not to be treated in the manual procedure you used to capture the common breed. You have yet to grasp what I am and so you alternate between the adulations and the denouncements. Uneasily tamed, I shy away from your presence. For your hand can feed but it can also strike. Yet when you are tender, and treat me as I am (not as you suppose me to be), I shall give to you all the wonders, all the gentleness within. So lay down the arrows, the spear. I will be yours as the wind will carry me should you discover who and what I am.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:00 am


short and sweet, but i DO know the predator mentality, though from the other side.

some i give and some i take
some i only take
some i only give
some i prey who prey up on me
some i only prey
only those i choose prey upon me.

spectremis


AntoniaMerEnfant

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:12 pm


Well the "predator" in the poem was not at all cunning nor slick. He essentially decided he understood how women tick and that he was going to use those methods with me. The problem was- I'm not like most women (not to mention his fallacy that his method with women actually worked).

My favorite part of your poem is the very last line. It makes you sound like the one in control- more so than the proceeding lines.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:17 am


(I'm going to try my hand at writing something new)

Unplanned

Once we found it intolerable to be denied what we desired
In retrospect we consider it serendipity
Sometimes being lost is the most fortunate of outcomes
For if we believe we are on the right path, but are not
Then oh what happy error it is to stray from the path
We wander and then discover where we should have headed
Certainty is fleeting, and merriment is in the change
Is it not better to stumble
Should we trip upon gold
Than to continue on uninterrupted
Never to discover overlooked fortunes?

AntoniaMerEnfant


spectremis

PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:48 am


AntoniaMerEnfant
(I'm going to try my hand at writing something new)

Unplanned

Once we found it intolerable to be denied what we desired
In retrospect we consider it serendipity
Sometimes being lost is the most fortunate of outcomes
For if we believe we are on the right path, but are not
Then oh what happy error it is to stray from the path
We wander and then discover where we should have headed
Certainty is fleeting, and merriment is in the change
Is it not better to stumble
Should we trip upon gold
Than to continue on uninterrupted
Never to discover overlooked fortunes?


reminds me of this i did a couple years ago... only you're doing relationally whereas i was referring to life in general:

"after a taste of what i can do
i moved on where you tell me not to
after long, i blew past you
i spent a weekend up north in the obscure
until i was completely sure
for me, here there is no cure
last summer was a time in the void
skipping stones in the pond of the annoyed
later the truth was something i couldn't avoid
this being was born outside the sphere
in the land of what you may call weird
clothed in skins equipped with spear
i set out past your boundaries
even past your lamented quandaries
and left behind your shallow merries
to tame the blackholes
trace unknown souls
and rake new inspired coals."

the rhyming's a little forced...i just REALLY wanted to rhyme.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:02 pm


I see what you mean about the rhyming. I'm not sure- I think your gift in writing is your ability to use phrases that are out of the box and fresh (I really envy that! I have such trouble being so original). The rhymes seem to restrict your voice.

I still like it. I like the "to tame blackholes" concept. Very nice.

AntoniaMerEnfant

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The Writer's Block

 
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