There's more, I'm just posting the first bit of it to get some opinions and suggestions...
Dear Daphne,
I have something very important to tell you, and I regret that I couldn't say it in person. If I gave you the details, you wouldn't believe a word of it, so I'm just going to give you the basic rundown. But first, there are a few things you have to promise me.
First of all, don't tell anyone. I mean, you can tell Chris a little bit about it and stuff, but don't let a word of this leak out to my parents or teachers or anyone like that. And don't get the police involved. Don't let ANYONE get the police involved. If I see myself on the news, on Amber Alert or anything like that, I WILL find out some way to get the snot beaten out of you. Really.
Anyway, I'm leaving. I'm leaving the town, and probably the state, and maybe even the country if I really need to. Something happened, and I don't know where and I don't know when, and like I said I can't tell you… you'd never believe me if I did. I would show you if I could, but there's not enough time for that. I just have a really big problem, and I need to go away to get it all sorted out, and maybe I'll find you again if I get the chance to, but for now I just need to take all my really important things and get out of here. I'm not quite sure where I'll stay on the way, but I do know that I'll be alright, and I want you to remember that I'll miss you, so don't worry. Snowball is coming with me, so at least that's taken care of, and…
Have you ever dreamt of being king for a day? Queen, princess, whatever, just a chance to be royalty? A chance to be in charge of everything. To have the power, the prestige, the glory. The world could be your oyster. Or, could it? Well, it's really not all it seems. In fact, if you ever get the chance, say no and run. For your own good, believe me. I'll tell you why if you want to listen, and I hope I don't offend you, but if you don't want to listen, I don't mind. I'm used to being ignored.
Since my dad is the CEO of a large school supply company, my family is really rich. We've got a mansion in Massachusetts, and a summer home in Canada with a yacht. I never had any siblings, so I got to have everything to myself. In high school, I was on the highest-honor roll, in all advance placement classes, and the track team star. I wanted to be a lawyer, so I applied for Harvard, and I was accepted. I almost had a shot at the Olympics for running, too, but I decided I didn't want to. And yet, despite this all, I could never have been more miserable.
Because right around my senior year of high school, I started to feel like I was really sick or something. I always felt lightheaded; I ate, and ate, and ate, and I still always felt hungry. My weight dropped dramatically, and it was already low to begin with. My skin felt blotchy and it burnt; even my teeth and gums felt strange, and it wasn't just my braces. I went to one doctor, then another, then another, and none of them could agree on a solution. Oddly enough, this is what led to me knowing what it was like to be "king for a day," or, really, much longer; I figured it out one day, when I was having blood taken.
I saw that thick, red liquid coming out of me, going up that tube, and my mouth felt dry. I was thirsty, and hungry, and even a bit horny when I saw it; I would have grabbed and eaten anything you put in front of me, even a steak, at that moment. Thankfully, I passed out first. When I woke up later, on my bed, I began to pack my stuff, and I wrote Daphne that letter.
My name is Darien, and I guess I could say I'm sixteen years old. I'm vegan because I love animals; my favorite animals are rabbits, and I had one named Snowball. I fed him lots of veggies and played with him a lot. I like reading, especially fantasy, and I like playing Dungeons and Dragons, and track is my favorite sport. I don't really like other sports much; even if I am a really good runner, I'm also sort of a homebody, and I'm kind of still afraid of being hit with a ball or something. I have to cook my own food a lot since I'm vegan, too, so I've grown to really enjoy cooking. Blue and orange are my favorite colors, and people tell me I act like a hippie, because I listen to Pink Floyd and stuff, and especially because I think free national healthcare is a good idea. Oh, yeah… and I'm the Supreme Overlord of the Undead.
… Yeah, I know. You don't have to tell me.
The moment I realized I was a vampire, that I was slowly going to become nocturnal as my sensitivity to the sun increased, that I would need to drink human blood to live, that no one would believe me if I told them and that I'd never be able to be normal again… well, if I wanted somewhere to live, I had to seek out others like me. I took the Greyhound bus from place to place, and I brought only the things I'd really need, like some clothes, some books, all the money I had, and my rabbit. Food was hard to come by, because even if blood filled part of me I still needed regular food to fill my stomach; I never thought I'd have to resort to petty theft, but there I was, pilfering Fritos from a gas station when the attendant's back was turned. Finally, I found some others, and they taught me everything I needed to know.
I learned that I didn't need to drink a lot of blood, just a few sips a week and I would be okay. I learned about the powers of strength, speed, and hypnosis that I had, and how to use them along with the proper incision to take blood from people without hurting them or having them notice me. I found out that I didn't have to worry about becoming evil or anything like that, and I was also taught how to remain "underground," so to speak, so that no one would discover my anomaly. With a fake identity, I did odd jobs for people in the evenings, like shoveling driveways and raking leaves, as I moved from town to town trying to find an apartment I could afford to rent with the money I was making. Once I got settled in, then I'd make the larger and more important decisions, I thought. I was grateful that they even bothered to help get me on my feet at all in the first place.
I didn't know, though, where following them into their mysterious society would take me. I wanted to do anything to fit in and to have a place with them, as we often do when we're young, and even when they began to request very odd things from me, I went along. I'm really not quite sure why I did, as I should have known better; in high school, I was able to resist peer pressure, so why not here? Perhaps because they were much older than me, and, well… they were vampires. They were authority figures to me, and I had to listen. Even if they were trying to get me involved in an assassination plot. Assassinating their despotic ruler. And taking his place.
Yeah, I know, I know. You can tell where this is going already. But like I already said, you don't have to listen if you don't want to, and I really hope I don't piss you off if you do decide to listen. I hope I'm not boring or anything, and I hope I don't seem whiny or full of myself or anything like that. I'll try not to be, but I'm probably going to anyway. Because even the wealthiest, most powerful person in the world can be really, really miserable.
It felt just like any other evening felt, with me rolling out of bed at around six, because it was December and the sun was beginning to set earlier. I grabbed my glasses from the secondhand nightstand and put them on so I could see, then grabbed an outfit from the floor--a fitted grey sweater and slightly worn jeans--so I could go take a quick shower. After I was done, I dusted the water off myself with a towel, pulled on my clothes, and quickly ran a comb through my dark, messy hair. It was beginning to grow past my shoulders and look even more unkempt than usual, so I grabbed a cheap pair of clippers from the cabinet and cut it down to about chin length. That way, it wasn't as bad; I combed it again really quickly, and brushed the little hair bits off my sweater into the trash.
Next, I shuffled back into my bedroom, and rooted around through the pile of clothes on the floor so I could find shoes and a belt. I finally dug up my orange Chucks, and found my pyramid-stud belt soon after. Once I had put those on, then gone and brushed my teeth, my normal morning (evening?) routine was concluded. Then, I slopped my old, grey messenger bag over my shoulder, and shoved my notebook, pen, and a half-full carton of orange juice from the fridge into it. By now I looked like I was ready to go to school or to the movies or something. Only I knew where I was really going to go.
There was a bag of soggy lettuce from the fridge in my hand, too, and as I walked past the hutch and food bowls where my rabbit hung out most of the time, I popped the door open and dumped the lettuce in the food bowl. Now, my rabbit could walk around the apartment, to his toys and litter box, and he could go back into the hutch to eat and nap as he pleased. From there, I opened the door of my little closet, and peered into the blackness within. I shuffled in, my arms outstretched before me; the path in the closet seemed to go on much deeper than usual, and it sloped downward also. There was a dim light at the far end, and I kept going until my hands felt a creaky, partially-open door. I pushed the door all the way open and walked out, but as soon as I exited, the door was no more.
Instead, I was standing by a fountain outdoors, no trace of the path I had just traversed behind me. To the crowd around the fountain, it would appear that I had just stepped out of thin air; stepped out of thin air into the central square of the vampires' subterranean capital city. I huddled over in the candle-lit chill, slipping into the dense, buzzing mass, and moved slowly with them toward the entrance of the capitol building, where the fateful killing was to take place, even though just minutes ago I was in my little kitchenette. …Yeah, a little bit of magic goes a long way. (Not that I knew any, someone else rigged it up for me. I wish that I knew some though, but that was restricted to a privileged few, i.e. not me.)
I made it through the door into the huge central hallway; I would have liked to look around, but as I was stuck in a mass of anxious, murmuring people, I could hardly see anything and I had to move on. Taking baby steps and trying not to shove, while also pulling the orange juice out of my bag and trying to drink it up for breakfast, I went straight for the large, central door into the auditorium. There were rows of dusty wooden chairs that everyone was trying to file into, and I didn't know if I was supposed to sit down and wait, or if I was supposed to sneak right up to the stage right away. Craning my neck, I saw that the despot wasn't even out yet, so I figured I'd sit for now to finish my juice.
After a few more noisy, crowded minutes of me curling up in my seat and having breakfast, someone finally came out. Stretching myself up over the other heads in front of me, I saw that it was a tall female; probably not the person I was supposed to be fighting, but she looked important nonetheless, in some sort of form-fitting uniform adorned with a number of badges. She marched purposefully up to the podium and thumped it forcefully; the crowd grew silent. I guessed that this was some sort of cue I wasn't used to yet, so I packed away my orange juice quickly. She began to speak, without a microphone or anything; as soon as I heard her sharp and powerful voice, laced with a haughty-sounding British accent, I understood why the microphone was absent.
"First, let me begin by saying that something interesting has been brought to my attention recently… again, at this year's Parliament, we have a young vampire who wishes to challenge Lord Coulter in attempt to take his position as leader. If you are this young vampire, I would ask that you please rise and come forward." She glanced down quickly at what I presumed was a paper on the podium for her, then she looked up again and glared at the audience mirthlessly for a moment. I shuddered; she was talking about me, so I slowly arose to make my way up to the front stage. She glanced back down at the paper and kept talking, apparently reciting some legal codes.
"According to the Vampyrean Law, originally written by Samuel Caelith in the year of 1012, any time the citizens are dissatisfied with their Lord, they may elect another vampire to stand up and challenge that lord at the December Parliament. If this chosen vampire is clever and powerful enough to defeat the current Lord in a battle without weapons, overseen by the current general of the army to preserve fairness, then he shall take the place as Lord, and the Parliament shall continue under his terms for that year. This ensures that not only is the new lord well-liked by the public, as they have chosen him, but also that he is physically secure enough to take the rigors of his responsibility-laden position."
I slipped quietly and shyly onto the stage, feeling all eyes on me; thankfully, the tall British woman (who, I could see now, was a good head taller than me) stepped aside and motioned for me to do as well. I shuffled off to the back corner of the stage with her, and she tightly seized my wrist. "In case you are unaware," she huffed at me, "I am the general of the army, and I will be the one overseeing this battle. Therefore, throw down any weapons you have now. We're not going to stand around and twiddle our thumbs waiting for you to do it later when you get up there. Dog-eat-dog's the policy, and if you can't handle it then you probably shouldn't have a position of power."
I nodded respectfully. "I don't have anything… oh, wait, my bag. Sorry, I forgot. Here, I'll take it off. Should I just leave it here?" I pulled my bag off my shoulders and got ready to put it down on the floor, but before I could manage, she snatched it from my hands and threw it at the floor. "Uhm… thank you?" I didn't know if she was doing that out of kindness or out of anger, so I figured I'd err on the side of caution.
"If you've managed to completely forget there's a bag on your shoulder, who knows what else you've ever-so-conveniently forgotten, hm? Let me check your pockets." She thrust her hands down my jean pockets and felt around in there (which felt kind of dirty and pretty awkward), and found nothing, like I had said. "Every time I tell them they ought to just get a cheap little metal detector for this, they give me some c**k-and-bull excuse for not doing it. Maybe if I dock their pay they'll get it…" she murmured, half to herself, as she glanced off at the door impatiently.
I looked her over as I waited, knowing that if the plot succeeded I'd have to work with her a lot. She was tall, like I said, with this really long brown hair in some weird ponytail, and her green eyes were like the kind that glowed at you in little haunted-house thingies; definitely eyes you don't want to mess with, or even go past if you could help it. Aside from her creepy-a** eyes, her face was pretty and well made-up. She had a nice figure, too, and not just a sort-of-nice figure, but a really nice one. Swimsuit model material, toned, with an… ahem… large chest. You know. And it wasn't a secret either. It really looked like she purposely designed her general uniform so that the jacket was cut down to there and the skirt rode up every time she took a step. Full of herself, I thought. Full of herself, and creepy. Something told me that we would not be getting along.
Finally, the elusive Lord Coulter emerged from the door. He was huge and powerful-looking, cloaked in flowing layers of black as if he were wearing midnight itself, and even though the plan had seemed clear before I started to wonder if I could really pull it off. "You're the only one that can," they told me. They told me that lots of other challengers had gone up before, and were crushed before they could even get a move in, but they reassured me that my track speed, which had now pretty much turned into super-speed when I became a vampire, would be the trump card they needed. Then, they set up the plan around that… the plan that, right now, just smacked of bullshit from every angle. I knew, though, that I couldn't back down now. It was too late for that.
The general glared quickly at Lord Coulter, then at me, and then she thrust me up on the stage, still clutching my wrist. She grabbed the collar of Lord Coulter's cloak with her other hand and shook it down, frisking him, then nodded when nothing appeared. "We all know the rules, I see, so let's begin, hm?" She finally let go of me and stepped back quickly, seeming pretty anxious herself.
Before I could even gather up my wits or even begin to review the plan quickly in my head, Lord Coulter had me down to the ground and was ready to mash me up into powder. The fight-or-flight instinct popped up in my head, thankfully, and I sprang up and ran. He tried to reach out and grab me, which might have worked on another challenger, but I was far too fast; I was already across the stage platform entirely by then. I let loose a tiny sigh of relief as I zipped back and forth avoiding his blows, because I had just bought myself enough time to remember what the plan was all about.
He snarled furiously at his inability to catch me, and after awhile it dawned on him that he should stay still in the middle of the stage rather than waste all his energy by following me back and forth. He stood right in the center, flailing his arms around angrily, hoping by chance he'd nab me in passing; as I could clear his whole little flail-circle easily by jumping, he was unsuccessful. I had never been more thankful about high ceilings before in my life. Now was the time to do what I had to do. Next time I poised to jump over him, I shifted my course a bit. I jumped at him.
As if it's not totally terrifying enough to zoom down from way high and anticipate the feeling of your feet hitting the ground, I was anticipating my feet hitting his head, and they did. With a jarring crack, I felt a sharp pain run up my leg, and the pain intensified when I landed on my butt with a thump. I had knocked him down to the ground and landed on him, and needed to jump fast again in order for him to not grab me now that the time was ripe. A few more, and the legal part of the fight would be over, because one of us two would be crumpled up on the ground in extreme pain (hopefully not me.) From there, it would take only a few more quick blows, and… … but no victory yet. I still had more to do, I reminded myself nervously as I made the next jump. About to hit, bracing myself for the impact…
Suddenly, I felt like I'd been lopped straight off my little air-course by some type of comet thing, even though I knew that wasn't possible. I slumped down pathetically to the side of Lord Coulter, who looked as dazed as I did… what was that? I hopped up and started to run again, because I really didn't have enough time to stall and check, but running was hard. The piercing pain where I'd felt like I got hit by something was too much, and Lord Coulter was still standing hunched over in the center, waiting… and smirking. I dropped my hand to my side where the pain was coming from. There was something there. Something cold.
A knife. A knife in my side. A knife in my side! Honestly, who wakes up and thinks to themselves, "Golly, I hope I don't get a knife in my side today?" I really didn't know how to react to that, so I kept going. As I got ready to jump again, I pulled the knife out and dropped it, not really thinking of anything but the plan I was supposed to carry out. The plan I never got to finish carrying out. When I dropped, there was nothing below me.
"What the hell is this? Whose is this? It's yours, isn't it? It's yours, Coulter. How could I have missed it on you? Oh, I know how. I know how. I just shook your cloak, because I didn't want to touch you. I don't want to touch you because you're a greasy, nasty, slime-ridden, murderous rapist son-of-a-b***h!" When I looked up, terrified, the general was going after Lord Coulter with the knife. I didn't know the back story on this, but I could tell it wasn't pleasant; I would've moved, but I was out of energy. Instead, I meekly covered my head with my hands like I was in some kind of worthless bomb shelter.
She was about to lunge at him with the blade, but he grabbed her by the neck first and threw her down to the ground with a cruel hiss. Even as she fell, though, she was not about to be beaten; there seemed to be a genuine, flaring anger in both of them that was really creepy and I really hoped I'd never find out what it was about. She jabbed him in the crotch with her sharp spike heel, and he fell over screaming. I saw blood drip down his cloak, and just that sight made me feel a piercing pain. I shivered. He grabbed her by the ankle to pull her over to him as he writhed, and he was trying to grab the knife from her hands. Should I try to keep my plan up? How would I do it? This did not look good… especially when he finally did wrest the knife out of her hands. She flailed angrily, her teeth clenched. He raised it high, holding it up over her throat as he pinned her down with the other arm--
In a swift, sudden movement, he retracted the blade of the knife and slammed the handle against her face. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to kill you, b***h? Do you think I don’t know what would happen if I did--" She decked him in the face before he could finish, and shoved him down the stairs. Quickly, she got back up, and stabbed her foot into his stomach. Now, his crotch, his stomach, and his legs were bleeding. "Do you think I care? Do you think any of you could kill me?" He moved to push her off, but she stomped him again and again to keep him down and keep the blood flowing.
"Well, that doesn't matter right now… you've just been stripped of your duties and your power. You, Lord Coulter you call yourself lord, but you are repulsive. Clearly, a creature like you does not, and has never, deserved to be our leader, and finally we have an instance where are able to get rid of you. This little child here, Darien Alisandriel--no, Lord Darien Alisandriel--shall be considered the victor, and you, you disgusting thing, are..." She gasped for breath, unable to make words out of her fury.
"How can you make sure of that?" He used this pause as a time to attempt to get her off him, sitting up rapidly and making her flop to the ground. Reeling, she struck him with every ounce of force she had, snatched his limp figure up and threw him out the massive steel door as soon as she could stand. Many from the crowd nearer to the door ran to shut and lock it, and some barricaded it slightly with chairs for good measure. I was still sitting on the platform, bloody, and, of course, ignored as usual. In the span of a minute or two, so much had occurred… so much blood all over the stage, as well as some kind of political power shift I didn't understand. The coup had succeeded, I guess… but the assassination had failed. He was still out there, banging on the door for a bit, and then silence. Whatever his deal was, he was alive out there. Whatever his deal was… he could come back. But anyway… now what the hell was going to happen? Despite my better judgment, I asked, but still very timidly.
"… Um… what was that, just now?"
"Ugh. Look at this! Our new leader doesn't even know why he was doing what he was doing. That's just peachy, now, isn't it?" the general screamed. "Well, at least you're better than Coulter by far. For starters, he's disgusting. He's a dirty, cheating, lying b*****d. He's done nothing throughout his whole rule other than come up with reasons to have wars. Somehow, he just likes seeing my soldiers die, seeing our people die, seeing humans die, seeing death, for his own entertainment. He had some kind of bullshit agenda to go along with it, too… some thing that we as vampires are inherently superior to humans, and thus we should destroy them and make the world our own. We are inherently superior to humans, but… it's our mission to protect them. I really don't even think he thought vampires were inherently superior. He just thought he was inherently superior, and as soon as we'd helped him eradicate humans he would've gone around and made the majority of us slaves to him and his little cohorts. Let's see, how about a visual… fifty-plus vampires strung up to the ceiling by their ankles, skinned, to be burned later. Like steaks."
Uh… wow. I hoped deeply that she was exaggerating. This couldn't be happening to me. This was a nightmare. I could deal with being a traveling nocturnal hobo; it was weird, but it was okay. This was some crazy warped story. This couldn't be real. Wake up, Darien. Wake up.
"They all know. They've all seen; you haven’t. You're like a child, believing everything you hear, thinking you ever do any good for the world. Hell, fresh out of high school, you are still a child. You're useless. The only time you ever help anyone is when they take advantage of you. Now that you’ve done the dirty work and Lord Coulter is out of the picture, no one has any use for you anymore, really. There's still far more to be fought… and that's best left to those who aren't weaklings." I sighed dismally. The longer she carried on, the clearer it was that this was happening to me, and that I would just have to play along until I came to some kind of gruesome ending. Some kind of horror movie come true.
"Ah, well. That can't be helped. You're ruler now. You'd best try hard, or you'll be the next one they’re plotting to overthrow." She tossed her hair and scurried away from me as if I were some type of vermin, then began dishing out orders to her various soldiers and subjects while the crowd kept looking on in morbid curiosity and terror. "Kiran, get your a** over here, you're going to be this pipsqueak's escort for a bit. Take him to the fortress, and take a few soldiers with you, will you? Have them clean out Coulter's s**t and put the kid's s**t in, and they can burn Coulter's s**t or whatever the bloody hell they want to do with it. It isn’t like Coulter'll be alive to realize it's gone once I'm finished with him… so, just take the kid along."
I stood up, groaning; it was probably still morning-ish, and I already had a strong need to go back to bed. I was being approached by what I guess was supposed to escort me, and he grabbed my wrist, so I decided it would (obviously) be best to follow him. He was tall, even taller than the general, and he was incredibly buff as well. Even if he did have a dapper dress uniform on, like pretty much everyone else did, he was still so muscular that it looked like his strength and sinew were about to explode right out of his jacket. His hair was waist-length and chocolate brown, rather odd considering how masculine he seemed, and he kept it back in a loose ponytail with a little bit of it dangling in his face. His skin was a pale dark color, for lack of a better description; like, it might have been a very deep dark color at some point, but it had paled a bit from lack of sun, but still it wasn't completely pale since at least part of it had been genetic. His brown-black eyes were a rather odd shape too, so he was obviously of some ethnicity, but I couldn't tell which. He took me out one of the side doors.
As we left, I could hear the general continue to shout orders viciously. "Jeanne, clean up this putrid bloody mess the two of them left all over the floor. Eh, stop complaining, if you want a figure like mine you're going to have to get off your a** a lot more. You too, Molly; see if you can go run them a couple gauze pads or something, or else just clean up the little blood trail. Drink it? Don't drink it, who knows what kind of diseases you'll get." Looking back, I watched her turn to the wide-eyed, frightened crowd, and announce, "Oh, yeah, you can all leave now; get a sandwich, take a piss, whatever. Personally, I think I ought to go shower after being in the same room with some certain people. Hope you all like your new leader there."
"Oh, she's not that bad," the dark-skinned man said to me in a heavily accented voice; it seemed like he was trying to comfort me in my bewildered sorrow as he pulled the door shut behind us. "Really, her bark is worse than her bite. If you have any trouble later, you can come to the offices in this building and ask for Major Raphael Kiran--that would be me, of course--and I will probably be able to help you. I've been around longer than anyone else here; I was there when the New Kingdom was first established, and I'll likely still be around whenever the apocalypse comes, if it does. Maybe longer." He grinned warmly; he seemed like I could kind of trust him even if he was kind of weird. Then again, what's there that's normal here anymore?
"Honestly," he continued as we walked, "if she starts threatening you, or something like that, let me know. She's a very nice girl, very very nice, but a little… unstable. If you get on her good side, she's quite a valuable friend. I've known her a long time, so I can usually keep her moodiness and violent tendencies in check… and I can even tell you some embarrassing stories about her to make you feel better all the while too. So, don't worry." He laughed; I nodded shyly, following him intently.
The dim little corridor we had been traveling down led us back to the main lobby of the capitol; he led me outside. Now that the square was empty because everyone else was in the auditorium, I noticed how huge it was. (I was kind of wondering why I wasn't staying at the parliament thing to finish it up, but I was also pretty glad I was being led away, so I kept quiet.) The fountain was not only at the center of the square, but the center of the whole city as well, and thus the square was very lavish. The ground was really shiny marble, the kind you feel creeped out walking on because you feel like you're going to slip even though you know you really aren't, and it was in different colors to make a big diamond pattern over the square. Towering lampposts with lit torches on the top were sporadically placed throughout the square to give it all a modicum of orange glow, and there were little metal picnic tables around the edge. There were also little spots where there wasn't any marble and instead had a grassy garden where you could sit, and overall it was pretty much a high-society park type thing. At the other end there was (yet another) large and imposing building where it seemed we were headed. We crossed the cobblestone road and he stopped at the gate, so I did that too.
"This thing here," the major announced, thumping the gate lightly, "Well, not the gate, but the whole thing, it is the private fortress. Many maids, many servants and guards and everything, wings full of charming and lavish rooms. You stay here for as long as you rule for, much like the White House works for your Americans, I presume… I have a home there only because the army requires me to now, and I spend most of my time in my alternate home outside of Florence, so I'm not too sure how all that works. Anyway, we'll make our way in, and you can look around while I make a connection to above-ground for you so you can get here quickly from your house in Idaho. Yes?" He flagged down a guard in the large front garden of the fortress, who let us in the gate, and we took the winding dirt path to the imposing front door.
"Iowa," I said meekly, hoping he wouldn't screw up my connection so I'd never be able to get back here again or something like that.
"What do you say?"
"I said Iowa. I live in Iowa."
"Oh, yes, right, right. I know exactly where it is, it's the apartment by the creek, isn't it? I call it Idaho by mistake often, and I call it Ohio by mistake often, because they all sound such the same, you know, yes?"
"Oh, okay, sorry, thanks." I felt a little bit embarrassed for correcting him. After all, he seemed really polite and respectful after all that had gone on.
We entered in the front door, and I took a look around at the main lobby. Everything was all done out in dark wood with red, and it was big, possibly even bigger than my dad's house back in Massachusetts. There were at least five fancy oriental area rugs that I could see, each of them with their own little coffee table and seats on them, and a massive chandelier dangled over the center one. The two side walls were lined pretty much entirely with full bookshelves, except for the parts where the doors to the side wings were, and there were three big stairwells at the back that led to a big, open balcony up top. I saw there were side wings upstairs too, as well as back wings both upstairs and downstairs. The center stairwell and the center door up top were kind of made out to be the focal point… and it all kind of creeped me out.
I was used to big houses, because I lived in two big houses, but… I was pretty much alone in this one. There were staff people and stuff, to keep me from feeling totally terrified and alone, but… all the wings were mine. The master bedroom was mine, instead of the attic loft. I could make each room into what I wanted it for, instead of going into the downstairs library with my homework and being yelled at that that library was Lisa's. Some if it was exciting, like thinking about the kitchen… how big was it? Did it have appliances? What would it be like to send off all the cooks, come in with a big bag of TVP and a big box of egg replacer, and make everything I ever wanted with all the leftover spices and veggies sitting around in this place? But then… I hadn't been in a big house in awhile, and I had most certainly never slept alone in a big master bedroom. Could I bring Snowball in here, or would he get lost? Would I even be able to fall asleep looking out into a huge field of echoing darkness that looked more like a surreal range of curlicue mountains than it did like a room with dressers in it? Well, right now I was so tired from this evening's events that I could, even if it was only about midnight and I usually went to bed around sunrise. I let out a deep sigh.
"Do you like it?" the major asked eagerly, waiting for me to give him some kind of order so he could follow it like a silly little German shepherd or something.
"Um… to be honest… I'm kinda really tired, if you don't mind, so could you, like, show me around tomorrow maybe? Right now I just really wanna know how to get to a bathroom and a bedroom… is that okay with you? If it's not okay with you, I can look now--"
"Oh, no, no, no, of course I can show you around tomorrow! If you're feeling a bit under the weather, just hurry off to bed… if you go directly up those stairs, into the middle door, then down the center hall a bit and right up the next stairs, then turn right around and go around the balustrade to the next central door, there's the master bedroom. Essentially, it’s the centermost room on the third floor, and the master bathroom is connected to it in the back. I hope it's okay for you. I'll go make your connection and we can get everything together tomorrow." He grinned, and I felt relieved; I was about to go upstairs when there was a knock at the door. My heart sank again; was someone else going to bother me? Three army men in suits came in.
"Oh, we're doing that tomorrow," the major babbled before they could even say anything, "He just wants to sleep for right now, because he isn't feeling well. You can find time tomorrow evening, can't you all, yes?" He looked at them; they looked at each other awkwardly. "Can't you all?" he said again, this time rather bitingly and even a bit viciously, "yes, we all can. Okaaay? Yes." They shrunk back and went out again, then, but after the door shut I could hear one of them guffawing. The major turned back to me, gleefully and sweetly as could be. "Don't worry, I'll be sure everyone takes wonderful care of you! Go on to bed if that's what you wish, my lord."
Okay, someone had just addressed me as "my lord." Awkward. I scurried up the stairs to bed, happy to get away from this all, but on my way up I thought I should thank him. "Um… thank you, I guess… you're really helpful, and polite, and everything, y'know? Good night, or good afternoon, or -- yeah, you know what I mean. Sorry if I screwed your schedule up or something."
"No, no, no, stop thinking of it as a problem! It's not a problem at all. You are our lord, so it only makes sense that we obey your wishes, yes?" I groaned; if everyone did all this servile crap to me it was definitely going to start getting on my nerves.
"Stop treating me like that. I haven't done anything yet." Oops, that sounded ruder than I meant. I was already grumpy and tired, and I felt even more upset every time I said something that sounded offending to him.
"But you're such a well-mannered, sweet boy. Some people might think you have to 'do something' to be treated politely, but I think that if you're a nice, mannerly person, then people just ought to be polite to you back, and if they're not, that shows more of a fault in them than it does in you."
"Um… whatever. I'm going to bed now, thanks, 'bye."
I ran upstairs. Well-mannered, sweet boy. To me that sounded a lot more like someone you'd bring home to your mom as your boyfriend or something than someone you want ruling your little empire. And if they did end up a world leader, well, then, they'd probably be a huge wet noodle and screw up beyond belief. I mean, really. How long is a vegan, socialist liberal kid gonna last as a vampire monarch before getting their a** kicked? Not long. I found my way up to the third floor and found an ornately carved wooden door with those creepy gargoyle rings as knobs. Is this it? I hope so, but I hope not.
I entered it, and it was; I flung myself on the large, fluffy bed. It was just like everything else was here… sinister yet charming and grand, and much, much more than I could fathom. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a whirlpool, that everything was changing so rapidly, and it was so deep and dark and I was bracing for touching bottom. That bottom, which could be comforting, could be something solid… but I didn't know what it would be. For all I knew, I could hit quicksand right after this whirlpool was over. I could not hold my breath in this any longer. I let out one loud choke and then cried myself silently to sleep.
"Getting up time, yes?"
I popped up in my bed, stock still, having just woken up with a jolt. I looked around, and all I could see were different grey blurs around the room, with one large darker blur a little to the left to me. I needed my glasses; I felt around for them where the side table would be, but I didn't find them. Crap, I must have fallen asleep with them on, and now they were probably somewhere on the bed or the floor, if they weren't crushed from me rolling over on them. I felt down the bed, until I felt something cool and metallic tap me on the top of my hand. I reached up in the air to the tapping thing, and found it was my glasses; I put them on. How they even got in the air in the first place, but by this point I wasn't surprised by much anymore--
Looking up to where the darker blur once was, I saw it was Major Raphael, sitting on the foot of my bed in a fancy suit. He seemed rather relaxed there, especially since he was putting eyeliner on as he sat. I remembered suddenly that I was in the big fortress bedroom thing, and not my condo. "…I thought the door was locked and stuff… ?" I mumbled drowsily.
“Yes, I did lock the door; in fact, today’s Parliament has already started, and you should have already been there, but when I came to get you the door was locked. So I hit the door five minutes hoping you year, but you do not so I pick the lock with army knife for ten minutes, it opens, I come in, walk around loudly hoping you hear, but you do not so I go up stairs for five minutes because there’s a lot of stairs, then walk around more loudly hoping you hear, but you do not so I go through the hallway for a long time to find the bedroom door, then have to pick the lock again, picked the wrong one so then had to go pick right one and by that time it had taken me fifteen minutes, then I wake you up here, so now, you are very, very late.” And he said this all to me as if it were perfectly normal and that I wasn’t going through any massive trauma right now, smiling and smiling the whole way through.
"Um… parliament? What's that--oh, that. I have to go to that? Now?" I whined loudly, as I was very tired and grumpy.
"Well… yes, of course you have to go to it. You… er… kind of have to lead it, you know?" he sighed.
I pretty much exploded. "WELL-I-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO! I became king YESTERDAY! YES-TER-DAY! What kind of system is it where they change monarchs on the first day and then expect that new person to just be able to go and lead stuff--because- I-HAVE-NO-IDEA-HOW-THIS-WORKS--"
He glanced at me dryly. "Moody, aren't you?"
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