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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:00 pm
Taadhima'aali studied her ground next to her paw quite intently, her eyes searching out every small detail in an attempt to see if she could find abstract patterns in the dirt. It was rather strange behavior to be sure, yet it was quite effective in its purpose of keeping Taa from panicking. It was a learned practice of behavior that had unfortunately become habit: a habit she desperately needed when attempting to hold a conversation with her brother.
To other siblings, this might have been strange, but Taa's relationship with her brother had never been ideal. Since the death of their father, or even before then, it had been uncomfortable and strained at best. She hadn't wanted it to be that way. In fact, Taa would do anything if it would mean having a good relationship with her brother, and her sister for that matter. However, that was no longer possible. She had messed up any chance she might have had while their father was alive. But, she had her own reasons for that.
So now, she tried the best that she could to fix the rift between them. That was why she was waiting outside of Kibwana's den. Taa hadn't spoken to him for several days and her mind clawed for a few subjects that might be safe, that might help to make her brother like her. She figured her knew nieces were a good subject, so she came to ask after them.
There were a few other things she could ask him, though most of them were about the current status of the pride, which wasn't good. She had to find some positive things to say, and hope that her brother was in a good mood. She'd been sitting outside of his den for awhile now, planning out what the conversation might be like in her head, imagining the friendly smile on her brother's face that she always hoped to see directed at her. Now she was just waiting for her brother to return. And to keep from panicking while waiting, she continued to study the ground beneath her paws.
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:12 pm
Kibwana never expected to see his sister waiting for him anywhere, and didn't really look forward to it for that matter either. He didn't enjoy seeing her, that constant reminder that his other sibling had left them. Taadhima'aali was an unfortunate reminder of their deceased father, and that only further attached itself to his animosity towards her. She was a thorn in his paw, and he couldn't even count the times he had wished that she had left and Adia'dafina had stayed. If only his father hadn't been such a callous a*****e; if only he hadn't been insane, perhaps he wouldn't have been so cruel as to arrange that Adia's first love would marry her older sister. There were too many 'if only's to ignore, and yet none of it mattered now. The past was past.
Didn't mean he had to like Taa.
When he rounded the corner of rocks that wound their way to his den, he stopped short when his pink eyes landed on the tan lioness that waited there. Casting a glance behind him at the guards, his eyes narrowed slightly in frustration before he quickly redeemed himself and his face smoothed. Kibwana was a king, after all, and even if it was his sister, he had to be civil. He wasn't about to invite her into his antechamber, though. Instead, they could speak out here.
Shifting his weight from one paw to another for a few moments, he hesitated before seating and curling his tail around his paws. He was large, much larger than she, but he felt awkward with the dislike burrowing in his chest, festering like an ulcer. Clearing his throat, he waited for an instant longer before venturing, "Greetings, sister."
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:23 pm
Taa gulped nervously, glancing up at her brother before lowering her gaze in respect. She always felt as though she was treading on sharp bones around him and she did not want to do anything to anger him tonight. If anything, she hoped that she might do something to lessen the dislike she always saw in his gaze. Though she was practically quivering with fright, she managed as always to hide her emotion under a calm and indifferent mask. It was an expression that she had practiced to perfection around her father and as sad as it was, she was forced now to use it around his successor as well.
"Greetings, my King," she said with proper respect. She dipped her head down in a bow before speaking again. She figured that it was best always to be polite, even if it sometimes made her feel cold.
"I hope you don't mind my late visit. I had hoped to have a word with you, if you can spare the time. I do understand if you are busy though, my King. If you would rather I wait, I shall." As always, she waited for permission to speak. Another sadly learned habit, but her brother did look tired, she noted with concern, though that was only to be expected what with his cubs and with the state of the pride.
She stood and waited, gaze averted and posture relaxed.
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:33 pm
If there was one thing that Kibwana had inherited from his father, and he hoped there was little else, it was Kibwana's incapability to overcome a grudge. The betrayal of his sister was an ugly, open sore on his heart that was distraught with infection as the time passed since the event that had torn their relationship asunder. Since their father had come between them. Kibwana saw her actions as self-serving, and that made her a treacherous, unpredictable rat that he could do without most days.
Still, so long as they were both being polite. This seemed like some sort of formality; like propriety had led her to visit with her estranged family, the only family she had left. He bowed his head to her as well, swallowing the little strain of pity that had welled up in his throat at that thought. The two of them were alone together, but he would not let her back into that family sphere. That was Adia's call, and she was gone.
Lifting his pink eyes to her once again as he raised his head from the bow, he arched a brow at her words. Was this really a social call? Nevertheless, he knew the guards would note if he sent her away immediately in disgrace and that would spread around the pride. They couldn't hear them, but they would notice her quick retreat. Watching her for a moment, he finally nodded, "I have a clear schedule now." He said nothing else. She'd say what she needed to say.
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:43 pm
Taa swallowed the emotions that rose in her throat every time she saw her brother. Regret, anger, sadness, remorse, love . . . they were all overwhelming and crippling in their strength. It was no secret to her that her brother blamed her, at least in some way, for the departure of their sister. After all, it had been the betrothal of Taa to Adia's beloved Bavu that had caused such a large rift. That and the apparent loyalty that Taa had showed to their father while he had still lived. Again, she had reasons for doing so, reasons that may have been selfish at first, but had changed. Nonetheless, she couldn't go back and change what had happened, and Taa forced herself to try to make the best of whatever came her way. Lack of friends and a mate or family that cared about her had taken it's emotional toll on Taa, yet she persevered.
At least he was giving her the chance to speak to him, and that was something she could use. She seized the chance eagerly, taking it wrongly as a sign of approval. She knew it wasn't, yet she could pretend. So, she razed her pink gaze to the matching one of her brother, and attempted to speak from the heart.
"Well, my King . . . brother . . . I wanted to congratulate you on your cubs. They are beautiful and clever and wonderful, the talk of the pride. It is so wonderful to see new members of the royal family." She didn't want to lay it on too thick, and though she tried, she did tend to get carried away. "I am honored to be related to them and I know that Adia would be too-" she cut off abruptly, shocked at what she had said. Their sister was not a subject that they took lightly or discussed at all. But she couldn't take it back now, so she recklessly continued, unaware of the consequences it might bring.
"I know that Adia would be proud of them too."
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:59 pm
The betrothal had indefinitely been the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. It had ripped through Kibwana like a bolt of lightning, and he knew his sister had felt it worse. Adia had been devastated, whereas her brother had merely hardened further against his father. And his traitorous sibling. She had been the focus of his irritation, especially since it was highly doubtful he could hate his father anymore than he already did. No excuse could save her now, only time could possibly heal the wound.
He nearly flinched away from her gaze, claws digging silently into the dirt as he prepared himself for whatever she was going to say. He knew it could hardly be good, not coming from her. There wasn't much they could talk about without grating his nerves. Ah, the cubs. That was a safe ground. He hated that they had all been born females, but his mate was fertile and the cubs were healthy so at least there was that. Mwana would be trained as heir until a boy was born to replace her. He was beginning to think that maybe he could relax -
And then she said it. The bomb, the one name that she of all lions should know not to bring up. Immediately his hackles rose and his backlegs unfolded as he stood. His tail lashed his sides as he snarled softly, "Yes, but she'll never know them, now will she?" He had no idea where Adia had went, "For all we know, she's dead."
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:21 pm
Taa actually flinched at the rage she saw in her brother's expression. It had always been there, but it was usually thinly veiled, but she'd messed up. Yet again. She always managed to say something stupid or do something stupid around her brother that made him hate her even more. She could never understand why. Taa did her best to do what her brother wanted, and yet she never succeeded.
She was never good enough.
Taa felt her own anger rising, a sickening feeling in her belly. After all, it wasn't her fault that their father had betrothed her to Bavu instead of her sister, Adia. She tried and tried to persuade her father to change his mind, and yet he was too far gone at that point, and he would not listen. And then Adia had left, heartbroken. Kibwana had been crushed, but so had Taa. She'd loved her sister and still loved her. She missed her as much as Kib did, even though he made her feel as though she didn't have the right to do so.
Taa's claws extended into the dirt and her eyes smoldered as she replied. "I don't think she's dead. Or else we would have heard some news of such. And she didn't have to leave, but she did. That was her choice."
She knew that she was only digging herself a deeper grave, but her temper flared and she couldn't help it. Words that she'd kept buried deep inside writhed their way into her mouth and out into the night air. She couldn't take them back and she didn't want to. A part of her needed to say this.
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:48 pm
The seething glare that he shot her couldn't be hidden or even veiled by any loud call to civil duty. There was nothing to hold him back, and she was doing nothing to calm him. If anything, she was egging him on. A deeper grave indeed, she was digging her way to China! His own claws kneaded the dirt in an attempt to keep himself from lashing out at her with violence. That was something Konokubwa would have done, and he would not go so far as to be his father in action as well as thought.
"Would we?" He snarled, "Would we have heard something?" His tail slapped the rock behind him with such force it might have broken, but he paid it no heed, "Who would have told us? The stench of death and plague has been so strong for so long, the land was no doubt clear of rogues for miles around."
A low, grumbling growl rumbled in his chest as a sudden pensive thought entered his mind. He paced a few steps to one side and back again, attempting to walk off some of his wrath even as his mind and mouth worked, "Who's to say she didn't take the plague with her?" Kibwana was not usually one for so many words, but fury drove him on. Flashing his teeth at the air, he snarled once more as his eyes flashed to her accusingly.
"Her choice? What other choice did she have?" So many questions! "Her heart was broken, there was nothing else for her here! You were his favorite, you took her livelihood."
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:57 pm
Taa may have been pushing her luck with her brother, but Kibwana's last statement broke the wall that she had erected so long ago. She seethed with fury, hurt, and anger. Her claws grappled into the ground and her hackles rose as she gritted her teeth, her eyes glittering dangerously. What with everything that Taa had to go through having few friends because of her relationship with her brother, the bare tolerance that was given to her by her mate, her feelings of hopelessness with the plague, everything washed over her in a flood of emotion.
"A part of us would know if she was dead, brother. She may not be here with the pride, but she is still in our hearts. Yes, our hearts, because she is my sister too. And it is not my fault that she left, and you know it! I did not ask him to give me to Bavu as his mate instead of Adia. I begged and pleaded with him to change his mind but he would not. If there was anything I could have done to stop her, I would have. I did not ask for this life, this existence. It is one that you and he gave to me and I will do my best, but it is not my fault that she left."
She spat out the words like venom, until she had none left, and she stood there, still angry and hurting, glaring at her brother who did not understand and refused to try. She would take his hatred and his dislike, but she would not accept the blame for something that she'd had no control over.
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:20 pm
She was seething? She was seething? The gall of her to argue with the king! To attempt to defend herself against her own traitorous alliances. He didn't care about her life with her mate; for all he thought, she deserved it. Of course Bavu wouldn't love her; Adia, his first love, had left! Bavu had been left with someone he'd never even looked at twice before Konokubwa had had them betrothed.
"Don't talk to me about 'a part of us', Taahima'aali. You gave up that part when you allied yourself with our father." He snarled, not even flinching when she made her case that she had pleaded with the deceased Ufalme. "Well, convenient there is no one to provide testimony for you, seeing as how the only lion who would have been witness to such an exchange is dead."
Baring his teeth at her, he raised a paw but refrained from smacking her silly with it. He would not turn his trained strength on his sister, no matter how much he despised her. "Don't you dare lump me with him." Dropping the paw to dig his claws into the dirt once again, he shook his mane and looked away from her, "Go before I do something regret; or call the guard and banish you for being the snake you are."
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:44 pm
Taa glared fiercely at her brother, but it was obvious that her spirit was broken. There was nothing that she could possibly say to him that would appease him now. She had dug herself very deep this time, and she did not believe that she would ever be able to make up for this argument. Her tail and shoulders drooped, her posture resigned. The only thing that did not show her defeat was her eyes which she kept locked on his. Her mind fought for anything that she could say, but she came up with nothing.
The only thing that she had left was a low burning hate, for her situation, and for herself. After a moment, she dropped her gaze, and mumbled softly but clearly.
"You'd never understand. You don't even try. You're more like him that you think you are, brother." Though the words were soft, they were laced with venom, and she shot him one last glare before pivoting on her paws and racing off into the darkness. She didn't care what the guards would think by her hasty retreat. They already knew. Everyone knew about her relationship, or lack thereof with her brother. This wouldn't make any difference, she thought bitterly.
Nothing would.
With her last bit of strength, she dragged herself back to her den, where at least she could be alone.
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