I was born in a small town in Kansas. If you didn't know, there's not much in Kansas. Especially in McPherson, KS. It's ummm flat, really flat. Anyway you don't wanna know about all that.
Lets start where my life started to suck. I was three. Dad walked out on Mom, see? Doomed from the start. Anyway, wasn't much better from there. Mom didn't make a lot of money so we ended up living in a pretty small apartment.
I was like any other kid. Well, maybe not, I was shy. Okay I was really shy. I got nervous around girls, really nervous. Same with boys honestly though, but they just tended not to like me. I didn't really like "playing" and running around. I read a lot though, and wrote. Yeah, I wrote a lot.
Things didn't get too much better from there, I was quiet. Teachers liked me, mostly because I didn't disrupt their classes or cause problems. Teachers like the whole, you know, not doing stuff. Of course, this wasn't the case with the other kids, they'd call me names, trip me, tease me. Kids are cruel, of course so are teenagers.
I can't count the number of lockers I was shoved into, or tripped into hitting my head against a wall. Of course it was in middle school that I discovered my real passion, music. I loved music, not sure I loved the kind of music they wanted me to play. Still, I learned, I sang, and for my 13th birthday, I got my first guitar.
All through high school I played it, and every present I got I begged for something new. An electric guitar, different pedals for it, a decent amp. Though I never got anything new. It was always second hand. As I got older my mom started giving me a harder and harder time. Turns out dad was a musician too, that's why he'd left.
I don't know why she hated him so much, or seemed to start hating me. All I know is, it didn't seem like anyone liked me anymore. Don't get me wrong, there were all these girls that would try to talk to me and giggle. I don't know though, never liked any of them. Doesn't mean I don't like women, I sort of think I do, not sure. Of course I sort of think I like guys too, just never found any of either sex I was attracted to.
Let me tell you, it's hard to write broken hearted songs when you've never had a broken heart. Still, if there's one thing I know about, it's loneliness. I was lonely a lot. But then, a break came, an ad in my favorite guitar store mentioned a chance at moving to an "artistic resort" where I could work on my music. Free of obligation.
Since I was about to be 18 and my mom had told me she wanted me out when high school ended. I signed up. Then it turned into the longest wait of my life, I didn't figure I would get in. After all, I wasn't as talented as everyone else. I prepared myself for the monetony of a fast food resturant. Well, actually no I didn't, I figured I'd end up on the street before I'd be able to work somewhere like that.
Then my letter came. I had enrolled in the program, I was to meet up with a helicopter two days after graduating in a nearby town. I hitchhiked for a ride on the night of my graduation and left all of that behind... forever.
Reply
