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In a merciful world, Autsu would have answered the door and upon seeing Kian fallen to his knees, begged forgiveness and promised never ever to leave.

Of course, the world is rarely merciful.

Autsu was in his room. It was Kniene, sitting on the couch quietly carving details into the head of a wooden staff, who looked up at the sound of the banging from without, and stood. They did not get many visitors, unless one included Sethos. But Sethos didn't knock.

Perhaps then, there was some small anxious child waiting without, holding a candy list and begging for money. That happened, sometimes.

Though such children rarely had so forceful a knock.

Knowing full well that there was only so much point in meditating on the nature of the one without, Kniene rose and pulled open the door without glancing first to see who it might be, as Autsu had told him repeatedly he must do.

It would be a stretch to say that he was surprised to see Kian. The teen had, at one time, been a fairly recent visitors. But, not of late. Not since Autsu had come home, a silent ball of unvoiced emotion, looked Kniene in the eye, and announced 'I am a fool'. He had been different, since then.

"Kian. Lady make you welcome. You'll find Autsu in his room." He stepped aside, so that the boy might enter.

((Erm... I'm just going to assume that it's been a couple of weeks or so. Correct me, and I'll fix it.))

Autsu had been something like asleep. It was something he'd been doing lately, pushing himself to the very limit of his endurance and then promptly passing out. He hadn't been paying much attention to little things, like the rising and setting of the sun. So the knock had caught him in one of his passed out cycles, and for a moment, hearing that voice, he thought it might be the lost edge of dream.

But he had not been dreaming much, of late.

Without any sense of what else to do (jumping out of the window crossed his mind, but seemed cowardly) he rose and walked to the door, flicking on the light as he made his way over.

One might hear, from the other side of the door, the sound of a breath being taken and held, before that same door opened. It opened a crack, and then was quickly pushed the rest of the way, as if, perhaps, the one opening it was ashamed of that initial hesitance.

Autsu... well... Autsu had changed some, since their last meeting. The teen, being naturally slender and delicate, had always had to fight to put on weight. A recently gained habit of not eating combined with an obsessive devotion to physical labor had created a creature of thin corded muscle and little else. He had been sleeping, and so wore no more than a pair of jeans, and those sat loosely on his waist, without flesh to hold onto. His hair, luckily, was too short to show ill care, but one would be hard pressed to guess the last time he'd seen to his wings, which showed broken and loose feathers. Well... perhaps Kian might be able to figure out how long it'd been since they'd been seen to.

"Kian. Be welcome com--" But no, he had no right to call the other comrade. And so, lacking further words, he simply moved aside so the other might enter.

If there was any fight left in Autsu, and lets face it, the idea seemed unlikely, it went out of him the moment Kian addressed him in that particular authoratative tone. His shoulders actually straightened a bit, and if he still didn't look well, he looked less defeated.

Kian was giving orders. That much sunk in. Words like 'admittance of wrong' didn't quite hit home but he could process 'go to your kitchen'.

"The wings are troublesome." He admitted, with a sort of passive confusion. Wings? Why were they talking about his wings. Wings weren't important here. "I will return with food."

And so... he walked into the kitchen, his quick strides almost running him into his father, who was exiting that same room. They shared a look of mutual confusion. When Autsu explained his mission, Kniene's expression transformed into one of desperate relief and a tray with two bowls of soup, bread and glasses of water were thrust into his hand. Kniene had taken of late, to thrusting soup at him at every opportunity. Autsu wasn't entirely sure why.

Just as he wasn't sure why, exactly, Kian was here. Kian was angry with him. Kian was completely justified in that anger. Perhaps he had come to yell some more? He did seem angry.

Autsu was willing enough to accept that anger. It was good to see Kian again, regardless. The thought almost made him smile as he re-entered the room. Except, there was Kian. And he was not exactly looking forward to what the other teen might have to say.

Autsu hadn't been aware that he still was an ally, to Kian anyway. And as such, he'd... lost track. He had not known what to do with himself except what he'd always done. And yes, he'd taken it to extremes, he wasn't unaware of the fact. But he had been... he had needed not to think.

Pushing himself hard was the easiest way to avoid thought.

He was holding the mahogany tray of onion soup and fresh bread in hand, and blinking, in mild confusion, at the Kian on his bed. It wasn't that he was percisely unused to Kian taking such a position, but he had not thought to find him there just now. It left him wondering where, exactly, he was supposed to sit.

He settled at last, on the foot of the bed, like the good dog he was. The tray he set across his lap, and it was steady there, though it shouldn't have been. Autsu could be very steady, when he needed to be.

"I am sorry." He said, at last, not objecting to the scolding, as he'd said he would not object. "I have been distracted."

He paused, dunking bread into soup, and chewing thoughtfully, "I did not think you would have further use for me."

A shrug. If the idea had hurt him, and it clearly had, then he held no anger over it. It made perfect sense that Kian would discard him. "Upkeep was therefore unimportant."

He had been stable. He had been apologetic. He had been EATING that soup, dammit. If Kian had told him to get down on his knees and kiss the floor, it was unlikely that he would have hesitated, though it might have chaffed his pride at one point or another, he had little enough left at the moment.

But no, Kian was yelling and babbling nonsense and demanding things of him that Autsu simply did not know how to give.

He did not mind being a tool, a weapon, if he respected the wielder. It was easier, than this. There were expectations here that he could not understand.

Oh... he'd loved before... but he'd been a tool then too. Narin had wanted something to love, and he had taken that role for him. Kian had not wanted love, had not asked it of him. And so Autsu could not understand the emotion between them as such.

His expression was a tangle of confused emotions. Kian's touch was not gentle, and his voice was not kind, but his words were not cruel and that confused all the more. "I can not fly Kian. The wings, they are only for show."

His voice was calm, at first, but as he began to speak, it gained a heat all its own. "I am as you are. I am alien here. I have tried... I have been, as best as I am able, your comrade. As you wished. As I have wished to be. But I have always trusted you, comrade.

"So when you say... that you desire me, I believe you. And when you say, I have failed you, I believe you. In believing you, I have somehow failed you."

"And now, you ask me if I understand? I do not understand!"

Some of the tension went out of Autsu's shoulders. He wasn't incapable of sustaining anger, but in this case, their wasn't much to fuel of it. He was, after all, in the wrong here. Arguing the point would just serve to outline all the ways in which he was in fact, in the wrong.

So he let the anger leave him, and listened as Kian shouted and scolded. He was clearly chastised, for what it was worth. If the other teen was expecting apparent guilt, well, there was plenty of it to be seen. And he did seem to be listening.

"I did not intend to undervalue your friendship, comrade." He murmured when Kian had finished speaking. "I have not been thinking clearly.

"I am glad you have come. And... I wish I had not failed you."

He glanced, involuntarily, at the spot that Kian had set the meal Kniene had prepared. Now, his mind a little less clouded, he was beginning to remember what hunger was.

No, of course Autsu would not say what Kian wished of him. He was tied by his own thoughts. And if he welcomed, with gratitude, the softening of his comrade toward him, he found himself facing again, the future.

It had been easier to contemplate when he'd thought he'd lost Kian. There'd been nothing left to hold onto. He had... drifted.

Now, he could not drift. Kian would not allow it. Would see him fed and grounded and a part. And if he hadn't enjoyed the haze of pain he'd been living in, well, this could be difficult too.

Typical. Idiot. Fall to pieces when he leaves you, and wince at future hurt when he takes you back.

Idiot.

"They are... uncomfortable." He admitted, mildly, having to think of his wings, to think, once again, of his body, to find the answer to that question. Yes. His wings were uncomfortable. His muscles ached. His stomach knotted with hunger.

He began to work, again, on that last problem.

"I do not forget easily." He spoke in the same conversational tone. It was true. If he was better at forgetting things, he would not be leaving in the first place.