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I have decided, as an expert in this subject, that Polish girls are much easier to lay if you speak English than if you speak Polish. I've experimented with this matter every time we go out in the mother's land.

I'll speak English and then ******** up saying a few simple Polish phrases on purpose, which she'll think is cute, and then the rest is gravy. Vodka flows like a ******** river here, so it's never a problem getting them to see it your way.

Speaking of that glorious clear liquid, I am now the master of drinking it. Mother would call me a true Pole now, I think.

That's not the point, the point is that despite all of the above, Polish girls think that sex means dating and flowers. ******** that s**t.

Regardless of how rich we are in Polska, there will be no flowers. Actually, usually it's Zach who drags me around to see all the historical sites and what have you, while I then drag him off to '******** some bitches' as a particular Irish man who I met in a hostel phrased it.

I couldn't agree more, but I don't tell the ladies this one. Bad for the investment.

Personally I think that Zach's trying to find out where Mum's from, but I don't think he's making much ground, regardless of how smart he is. He's on a mission though, and has told me many times that since we're here we might as well do something for the woman that had to put up with me in her womb and her life all these years.

He has a point. I was the heavier between us.

I'll let you ladies guess where all the extra weight was stored. ;D

Zach's found whatever he was looking for, so I'm being dragged away. And I have 5 more minutes of paid internet left!

I swear, no respect!

Peace.