Welcome to Gaia! ::

Charlene Phillip Dartsmoore was out on official business today. She’d only had to do one “on Gaia” assignment before. One of the other Guardians had had his soul attached to too many other souls to leave Gaia, so she had to take the deity he would be bonded to to him for the bonding. The Powers That Be were fond of-or really really scared of-Dartie so when a guardian choice came up that was someone she would get amusement out of doing the assignment for, they couldn’t help but inform her of it.

So it was that Dartie was out, with Bailey and Kahlua in toe, to go and see one felty ex-criminal who happened to be digging in the dirt. This was going to be QUITE amusing, she thought as she approached Archie, in his ridiculous attire-for once her’s wasn’t half as ridiculous as his, as she only wore blue jeans and a black T-shirt, and boots today-and smirked.

Kahlua looked around, trying to appear nonchalant about being there. Bailey, on the other hand, was QUITE pleased to be back. He’d liked Francine and wanted to see if he could find her again. She was fun to play with!

Dartie smirked as she walked over. “Yo Archie.” She said, unable to mask her smug amusement at what she was going to have to do in the next few moments.

Dartsmoore grinned. “Obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in some other neighborhood. However, as to my reason for being here, I came to see you.” She said smoothly. And quite suddenly her fist hit his face, propelling Archie backwards into the ground he’d been removing the target from. But her punch had done more than that-for now, around the unconcious man’s neck, a magical relic had appeared upon a silver chain, and unseen to them all, his soul was being quickly bonded with that of the god the relic would hold.

“That both did the job, and was rather satisfying. I need to unexpectedly cold c**k people more often. Though the receiving of magical deities through getting cold cocked thing could be done without.” She commented smoothly, before walking over to check and see that she didn’t hurt the man too badly. He did need to care for the little sprat after all.

Kahlua was staring in utter shock at this. All thoughts of looking like he didn’t care were thrown out of the window when he saw his guardian punch someone she had seemed to be on perfectly amicable terms with, and still seemed to be. Bailey on the other hand, was too busy looking towards the door of the house, where he thought he saw someone coming out.

Dartsmoore had very interesting expression on her face. It was one most commonly used when someone was telling her a very awkward story about how they’d gotten into a very amusing and embarrassing-for them-situation. Her eyebrows had raised a good deal and were narrowed at the front, her mouth in a thin, closed smile, that opened in the middle to show her teeth Cheshire style as she spoke. “Why yes, I did give him jewelry. Deity soul carrying jewelry. It’s some of the most annoying jewelry ever. It’s unremovable until such time as it turns into a kid, at which point it’s even worse!” she informed Dixie cheerfully, as she found this whole business amusing. “The usual way of going about assigning them is to knock the person out when they’re alone, drag their body off to another plane, do bizarre things to the soul, shove it on a space ship, and leave the person to be sent home after getting told what’s gonna happen to them. But I felt it’d prolly be nicer-and much more fun-to just come and punch him and tell him what’s going on when he wakes up instead.”


Kahlua listened interestedly to the explanation. The toddler remember that his mother had received a relic as well, which had turned into him. He hoped, in the soft insecure part of his soul, that she meant the necklace would be annoying to Archie, and that he himself wasn’t annoying.

Bailey wandered over to stand with Francine. He didn’t really understand what was going on, but maybe she’d explain. He wanted to stand by her anyway.

“Oh, no. I don’t pick guardians. Believe me, if I did, the red head would have gone to someone else. He’s a brat.” Dartie said, smirking at Kahlua a bit. She didn’t really mean all of it, but it was fun to tease. “He’s been decently nice to me over the few times we’ve met. If I wanted retribution on him for something, he’d be dead, but I don’t so he’s fine. And the Powers that Be have really really retarded ideas about who’d make a good guardian.” She explained.

Kahlua pouted a bit at his mother’s comment, but snickered at Archie lying on the rake. Stupid man.

Bailey smiled. “YEP!” he said proudly. He wasn’t sure why, but now he felt much more amused by the fact that she’d hit the man than before.

Dartie cracked up at the way Dixie put the whole situation, but it was at least semi-restrained, prior to Archie saying the words “cheerios” and “hula hoops” both of which she’d recently come across. “God……..of ******** Cheerios. Ahahahaahaha, that’s FUNNY.” When she finished her bout of laughter-which had seriously scared Kahlua has he hadn’t imagined that she COULD even laugh, especially not like that. “You have the God of the Angellic. His name is Pandanokirin, And he doesn’t look like what people on this crazy planet think of as angels either.”

Bailey shook his head at Francine. “Babies…loud. Boring and loud…Least ‘Lu was.”

“I once met someone who said to me ‘there’s no such thing as something that’s not a name’. And the names of the people in her town proved it. I do believe one was named Orangello and she was married to someone whose name sounded like Shi-theed.” Dartie said with a shrug. “Anyway, it was his name as a god, and it suited him. A ridiculous name is required for deities with elephant feet, glasses, and buckteeth, among other things.”

Bailey blinked. “Aren’t elephants those big gray anoomules? Why angel have their feet?”