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I think it happens to almost everyone. As humans we have a natural instinctual desire to fit in and be part of the group, those of us who do not fit correctly often feel lost or upset. Not every asexual has "pride" in that part of who they are, many DO wish to be a part of the crowd, to be able to follow a normal life. We cannot help the way we feel.
The torn feeling that you are experiencing is nothing to be ashamed of, we will never isolate you or reject you because of it.

I love being me, I love being different. I don't want to change.

As the others here have said, it's part of psychology. Whether you fit in or not, some part of you, deep down, wants to. Even if the rest of you doesn't. Sometimes people conform, and sometimes people don't. People like to be able to relate to others, and very few ever want to alienate themselves.

Personally, I enjoy being part of a minority, although I am also part of many majorities. It's like how you hear about smart kids being depressed because everyone around them is so stupid. They're so smart, but some would rather be stupid to fit in.

It's normal; most everyone does it. ^___^ Just learn to accept yourself for who you are. If you don't, how can you expect others to?

Sometimes, feeling lonely is a side-effect of asexuality. I don't know how to describe it, but when I feel lonely, I feel kind of satisfied. I have a unique view of the world, from an observer's perspective; I don't have to be bogged down by other peoples' requests, obligations, and the like; and I'm usually more productive because I can concentrate without being around people or feeling like I'm with people.

But loneliness can lead to clinical depression, too. You have to talk to people as well, to maintain your social network and the bonds that tighten your friendships.

I know exactly what you mean...I always have debates about it with myself, I don't know what I want sometimes.
I like having the fact that I won't have to worry about so many things that take over people's lives like that, it's unneeded drama, a coverup of love. And lots of a's think it's gross, right? I know I do.
But then of course...why me? Scared of rejections...scared of so much time and love put into relationship(s), only to have it put down the drain for the simple fact you don't want to have sex. You love me, I love you, what more do you want? Sex, of course. So many tears cried...yes, sometimes I wish I wasn't. It's an awkward subject for most. I don't think any one of my friends truly grasps the concept, my boyfriend thinks/hopes I'll get over it, and I know my parents would never accept it if I told them. It's like I'm stuck in growing up, I'll never be able to go farther, I'm complete as I am. Who wants a girl you won't be able to get naked with? Not many. Okay not a lot of people are into auras but...I have a mostly dominant blue aura, meaning my life is mostly based around love. What am I to do when nobody wants to give? It's thoughts that haunt me at night...looking across my bed, wondering if there will ever be that one who will sleep there with me, and nothing more...no expectations...no hidden agendas, sneaking hands...I just can't bear these thoughts.
It's...hard...to be asexual...I am blessed and cursed at the same time...

Sometimes I want to be normal, too, but I still want to be asexual. I just wishes everybody else would aswell, so people could understand.

I don't know. I don't want to resign myself into having sex, even for someone I loved, because that'd be betraying who I am. I'm pretty sure I'd throw up, or not be able to do it because of a physical effect based on emotional response, or something (I've heard the latter happening). Sex kinda grosses me out.

Okay, it /really/ grosses me out.

But almost everyone else seems to like it. I've had emotional crushes on my sexual friends -- my heterosexual "girlfriends", no less -- that have driven me insane, because I knew it'd never work.

Romantic and sexual relationships depress me. >.o