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 Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:03 pm
After growing more and more anxious of trying to dress loli, I've told my mom about some items on the internet I wanted to buy.
She took a weird look at it and asked about Renaissance, and stuff.
My mom is a very old school person, so I wasnt sure what to say, so I kind of shrugged.
Most of the time I try and refer to her about lolita fashion, I just say "like that one stuff in that book i have" (talking about my Gothic and lolita bible)
So the reason I'm asking this thread, is for a way to ask how to tell my mom more about it, and she wont think that I'm into some porno fad or something. xd
Also, does anyone have an opinion about someone who's rather.. plus size, like me, wearing lolita? My mom thought the stuff I showed her was too girly and small. But the sizes came in MY size. confused
Edited 2007
Holy Cow! this thread is almost 2 years old xd
Well.. Now a days my style is still a little girly, odd looking, but I'm not big on wanting to dress like a Lolita. I enjoy dressing with an elemental feel of Lolita.
My mom and I might make this one cute hoodie I showed her from an online Lolita Shop
I guess I didn't give her time to grow on it. And maybe I didn't really understand myself what I wanted out of the fashion.
But I'm sure everyone's opinions will really help others who are going through the same problem I used to have. So thanks for replying!!! biggrin
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 2:13 pm
Truth be told one of my pet peeves is the parents who like to stereotype against their kids, not saying your's but I guess I felt compelled to share that.
For your Mom it seems the only way that she is going to truly listen and share her true comments is if you ask her to sit and you talk to her about it. Tell her what lolita is about, why you want to dress and be that way, and explain to her about excepting it and mabye some limits for guidelines. Make sure she listens to you.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:05 pm
I'm having a similar problem.
I tried slowly getting my mom used to the style by wearing peices of it at a time like a nice skirt with other casual things and lacy head pieces with normal clothes that matched. She seemed to be cool with that.
But she's iffy when it comes to wearing full outfits. She thinks it makes me stand out too much and look too different.
So I usually just go for casual lolita when I go out in public but wear complete outfits when I go over to friends' houses or parties.
I've yet to tell her the name of the style because I don't think she'll understand and will think it has to do with porn/*****. Maybe I'll figure out a way to make her understand eventually ^-^;
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:45 pm
Yes my mother is like that too. She doesn't want me to get "negitive" atention. Also I can not stand out. So I have to teach her more about it.
Also tell your mom that you really lke Lolita. Tell her it is not just some stupid fad. I am sure your mom will understand. Unlike mine.....
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 6:23 pm
x.x I.. feel sorry for you guys. My mom isn't like that with me.. She knows I've liked the whole gothic/victorian aspect of EGL since forever, and she even looks through my books, commenting on some of the outfits. *Shrug* I guess you should just try to explain to your mom/s that 1. It has nothing to do with lolita fetishes 2. Show them some Malice Mizer stuff and let them see it's not all skanky and porn-tastic(Just.. don't show them the Illuminati video..) 3. And I guess you could even invite them to help look for things just so they could see it on you and that it actually looks nice, or finally, 4. If they say you're not wearing enough clothes, go take them to Hollister or AE or A&F and then show them what not enough clothes really are.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:42 pm
Morriganna x.x I.. feel sorry for you guys. My mom isn't like that with me.. She knows I've liked the whole gothic/victorian aspect of EGL since forever, and she even looks through my books, commenting on some of the outfits. *Shrug* I guess you should just try to explain to your mom/s that 1. It has nothing to do with lolita fetishes 2. Show them some Malice Mizer stuff and let them see it's not all skanky and porn-tastic(Just.. don't show them the Illuminati video..) 3. And I guess you could even invite them to help look for things just so they could see it on you and that it actually looks nice, or finally, 4. If they say you're not wearing enough clothes, go take them to Hollister or AE or A&F and then show them what not enough clothes really are. The idea sound very good. I think my mom understands that I'm not a prep, since I've never ever stepped foot into the stores you listed (or had the money to gonk ) I think she feels more confused as to what I am into. Probably my blame for always staying in my room and hardly talking to her. .-.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:12 pm
see my mom just thinks I'm weird. my one younger sister is "unique" as she puts it, she wears only black and isn't into mainstream stuff. she's a lot like me when I was her age (just a lil more extreme) but my other sister is total hip hop prep (I have a feeling the youngest will be like her). My mom really doesn't mind it, sometimes you can tell that she thinks it's unappropiate but she'll just suggest we where something else and maybe we will, maybe we won't. she dyes my sister's clothes for her which is nice and she can always find the best fishnets. She really doesn't like it when I dress lolita, but I'm an adult so there's not much she can do. what she really doesn't like is when my sisters all want to dress up with me, the youngest one likes to complain.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 3:52 am
I guess a way to make an old fashioned mother understand it is to look at porcerain dolls with her and try to key some of the conversation more into the outfits of such dolls. Remember, its alot more respectable ot be seen as a girl looking at porcelain dolls with your mum than talking aobut "lolita" with her, so maybe the dolls are the key. If over a little time you can bring her to appreciate the outfits speciffically she'll ease into you wearing them, and you'll be peachy keen, and if you think she'll freak about the nameo f the fashion, spring that on her later and just tell her you like looking like the dolls because if makes you feel pretty and creative.
Thats my 2 cents.
Oh and since when should *size* stop a person enjoying themselves? If the clothes fit, wear them!
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 4:00 am
Synner I guess a way to make an old fashioned mother understand it is to look at porcerain dolls with her and try to key some of the conversation more into the outfits of such dolls. Remember, its alot more respectable ot be seen as a girl looking at porcelain dolls with your mum than talking aobut "lolita" with her, so maybe the dolls are the key. If over a little time you can bring her to appreciate the outfits speciffically she'll ease into you wearing them, and you'll be peachy keen, and if you think she'll freak about the nameo f the fashion, spring that on her later and just tell her you like looking like the dolls because if makes you feel pretty and creative. Thats my 2 cents. that's a really good way to put it, I usually try to explain it to ppl using porcelin dolls. and with halloween coming up, dressing up is more exceptable (assuming that you do halloween depending on religion and location)
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 4:03 am
indeed. I think porcelain dolls is the perfect way to describe it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 7:06 am
I was on the net once with my friend, and i'm tellin her "oh look how beautiful that is!" and stuff. my step-mom comes over and asks me what were looking at. So i showed her. I told her i like that kind of fashion. She understood because of previous fashion decisions, with the lace and all that. She said "no one dresses like that here, so you'll make fun of you, you know that right?" and i told her, i've been made fun of my whole life, i don't care anymore. She likes it, because if she gets something similar to it, i'll wear and to her i'm dressing more like a girl. I get more American virsions, because i can't sew, even though we have a sewing machine. And my grandmother loves it, becasue she was born in the victorian times.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 7:12 am
sorry... i fell victim to the double posts of DOOM!
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 11:01 am
My mom's really cool about my lolita obsession.
She lets me wear stuff to school, and out to dinner and all that jazz.
She even likes my corsets.
Which is crazy.
And she buys me fun tights when she sees them in stores.
I'm sorry you're mom isn't as cool as mine.
heart
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 11:52 am
Best way is to have a discussion with her about it when shes not busy so her mind isn''t elsewhere and she could soak in what you talk to her about.
My mom doesn''t have a problem with the fashion at all, as a matter of fact she wants me to try and make the clothes. She said its a very creative style and she likes how its different from all the other trends out there. I love meh mommy.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 12:50 pm
The only problem my parents have with me and lolita is the prices and the fact that I tend to lean either towards black with white lace or white with black lace. XD
Other than that it's mostly my being vegetarian that I have to put up a fight about.
And I can't buy anymore lolita related objects from the 'net until I can find a job. Which no one wants to higher me 'cause I'm not 18 or because I'm still in highschool. D:
But yeah, the doll idea is a good one. Since technically lolita is being a bisque doll, which is why most of the outfits are shorter than actual Victorian fashions (knee lenght skirts would've been a huge no-no back then even for children).
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