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 Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:08 pm
Am I?
Here is my predicament;
I'm going to be 18 in less than 18 days and I have a 16 month old baby sister and a 10 day old (yes days) baby sister.
My dad is now the sole caretaker of my 16 month old sister until my 10 day old sister gets a little older and my stepmother recovers from her c-section.
Okay that really isn't the predicament - the issue is that I can't help but be overly embarrassed or even panic a little when I'm out in public with my 16 month old sister and my dad, especially if my dad has me take care of her for periods of time while he walks off to do something.
Why?
Because teen mothers are always looked down upon by society and here I am with a 16 month old and I'm 17, get what I'm saying?
I get that itchy feeling at the back of my neck that people are staring at me.
I feel absolutely ashamed of myself.
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:42 pm
I feel the same way when my cousins leave me to watch their kids in a store. Like I look way younger than I am and I know people are staring at me but then my cousin comes back and people wonder if I am her kid. Which would mean she had me when she was 13. o.o
Don't worry about what people think. They are your sisters not your own kids. Now if you took them with to a job interview people would probably think they are yours.
I see young (real) mothers all the time. Yes, people look down on them but its a double standard what with abstience-only fakeducation going around and the teen-birth rate going up because of it.
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 8:04 pm
I don't think you are. I know every time me (20) and my friend (19) go to the mall we get looks because she has a son the same age as your sister (16 mo). We shrug it off and you should too. It's none of their business whether you are watching a sibling or your own child. Let them have their petty thoughts.
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 9:51 pm
Agreed, one of my best friends has a 3 year old, and I LOVE taking her out in public. Jenn gets more stares because she's a mom w/ a face full of metal than being a young mother. But people have been looking at us funny since I was in high school due to the way we dress, so we're not really bothered by it anymore. Even if it was your kid, that is none of your business because if (like you soon will be) you are 18, it could have been a planned pregnancy because legally you can make that choice. Hell you could be married for all they know. None of their business. So let them think what they want, and let them live in their tiny worlds of ignorance and judgment. You know the truth and thats all that matters.
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:05 pm
I get the same looks when I'm out with my fiance and his half-siblings. Of course, I'm 22 and he's 24. His little brother is 7 now (I think) and his sister is 11 or 12. The brother's small for his age, so it's almost understandable that he'd pass for our own kid. The sister,though? Let's see, I'd have been about 10? HA!
I do love telling that to people who give me funny looks ---"She's 12. I'm 22. You do the math."
Heck, it happens to my fiance too. He had his siblings in his senior pictures -- people kept giving me funny looks when I'd show them, like he was lying to me about them being his siblings. (His mom's got the damn stretch marks to show for it!)
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Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 1:10 pm
That really sucks. I've never had that problem, mainly because I don't have any family members/friends who have little kids who look like me. It's sad that people jump to conclusions, when more often than not the kid with you is a sibling/cousin/friend's child.
I say just keep your head up and go about your business. If you see someone staring at you, stare right back. It's none of their business what your relation to the children are. They're going to think whatever they want, regardless of the truth. Just concentrate on your siblings, and not on the idiots with nothing better to do than judge you.
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Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 10:46 pm
People judge quickly and it is a psychological thing. Categorizing makes it easier for their brain to digest what we are seeing, even if our minds jump to conclusions. No it's not right they are categorizing you as "underage mom who is a bad influence" but you have to remember we are "taught" to think teen mommies are bad people (and in some cases that the kids are bad too).
I look quite young for my age. I'm 20 but I look about 15 or 16. My fiance (24) looks like he is in his late twenties due to facial hair and lines from the stress he had from working a year on third shift and little sleep. We get stares every now and then because the fat on my stomach looks like I'm pregnant (not sure why it likes to go to that spot). It looks kind of worse since our age difference looks wider than it actually is and the fact I work at a store that is thought to be a place where mainly unwed single mothers work.
Just keeping walking in my response or make a comment that makes it very clear and obvious that the kid isn't yours. Such as "Ooh! [insert name here], you're getting all dirty, your mom wouldn't be happy that I let you get all messy!" or "I'm babysitting for my friend/sister/cousin/aunt".
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 9:49 am
If it's possible, I look younger and older than my age. biggrin
Anyway, if I'm in a predicament like that I usually proclaim loudly that we should "go find mom in the (insert place in the store she went) section". Then after I find my mom I glare at anybody that was giving me a questionable look. This really doesn't happen to me very often though since both of my sisters are old enough for it to be obvious that they aren't my kids. They're biracial so some people don't even think they're my mom's kids. Even friends of mine tend to think they're adopted... >.>
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 4:27 am
Some people are stupid.
I was shopping once with my sister, she was about 14 at the time. I looked quite old for my age, but not ridiculously so. I was 16.
Some silly cow thought she was my DAUGHTER. Two years?!?!?! I was incredibly offended.
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