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 Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 6:11 pm
I found and bought this poster that i thought was hillarious so i'm sharing it with you!!! mrgreen Don't you feel special? 4laugh *a crowd makes for the door before she even starts* ... sweatdrop oh well, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!! blaugh
Ninja Tips for Healthy Living
ninja Exercise is important, but jogging is for wimps. Plenty of exercise can be had leaping from bushes and kicking joggers in the head.
ninja Laughter is medicine. Ninjas practice the art of inappropriate laughter. Laughing when hearing about cancer also shows the Ninja's strength. (ya...this one, not so funny sweatdrop )
ninja Ninjas occasionally, without warning, stab friends with throwing stars. Life is random. Ninjas embrace this fact of life.
ninja Killing the wrong person happens. Ninjas know this. It's useless to live in the past.
ninja Fiber in your diet is important. Ninjas eat the shirt off of a complete stranger's back at least once a week.
ninja Sex is extremely important to one's physical and mental health. Ninjas therefore fantasize about sex two, three, maybe seven times a day. ( rofl rofl rofl )
ninja Everyone knows yoga classes are filled with women. Ninjas prove their strength and impress the ladies by killing the yoga instructor.
ninja Samurais are the source of much stress for Ninjas. The think they're soooooo cool with thier armor and swords and those awesome helmets. It's in a Ninja's best interest not to think about such things.
ninja A strong handshake is a sign of good health and vigorous character. Ninjas therefore squeeze as tightly as possible and do not let go when shaking hands. Strong eye contact is also recommended.
ninja When eating a still beating heart of an enemy, Ninjas eat it all. There are starving Ninjas in Africa who don't have any hearts to eat.
ninja Cleanliness is next to Godliness. If Ninjas get ketchup stains on their outfits whilst eating out, they throw smoke pellets and disappear. Later, outside their den, they burn their outfits while screaming uncontrollably at the top of their lungs.
ninja Mind Control is one of the Ninja's most powerful skills. Making small children give you money is not only hilarious, but quite lucrative, and therefore, healthy.
ninja It's good for Ninjas to treat themselves to Western pleasures occasionally. Tht's why there's nothing wrong with putting on a comfortable Ninja outfit, lighting some candles, and watching "Ninja Vixens: Virgin Nightmares." (show of hands! who can guess what that is mrgreen rofl burning_eyes )
ninja it is important for Ninjas not to be their own worst enemy. Therefore, Ninjas should be sure to practice proper dental care before wearing a face mask.
ninja Secrecy is of upmost importance to the Ninja's peace of mind. Not even the Ninja's parents can know their identities. Not even if a Ninja still lives in the basement of his/her parents' house.
ninja Ninjas always ride shotgun. It's good for their sense of self worth. If Ninjas are forced to sit in the back seat, remember they always carry garrotes.
the end
(if anyone fids this offensive, my appologies emo )
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:11 am
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:16 pm
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:10 pm
OMG! someone replied!  THE GUILD LIVES!!! blaugh rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:37 pm
That poster is awesome :3
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:01 pm
YOU FAIL!! YOU ARE NO NINJA!! A real ninja calls them shurikens, NOT throwing stars! And you forgot to mention that ninjas need to be able to use anything as a lethal weapon.
ninja A powerful ninja can make your head explode with a rolled up newspaper. And a grandmaster can shoot down a Hind D by pointing his finger at it and shouting "BANG!"
ninja Ninjas must never show mercy to a pirate. If they see anyone wearing a Jolly Roger tattoo, they must immediately rip that persons right arm off and beat them to death with it.
ninja In order to improve their chances of survival, ninjas must constantly improve their arsenal. As of 1999, the only piece of ninja equipment more common than a kunai has been a large cardboard box to hide under.
ninja Ninjas must use any skill to gather intel, including seduction. During psychic training, a ninja will learn to manipulate their foes pheremones and can literally use their mental powers to give someone an orgasm. Like wise, a ninja can only be seduced by a more powerful ninja, or a catgirl.
ninja Ninjas are masters of disguise, and must use any method necessary to hide their identity. This includes cosplay and cross dressing. The most inconspicuous uniform is to cosplay Ryu Hayabusa and hide in plain sight.
ninja Ninjas learn to gain any advantage possible in order to survive, including laughter. One ninja butchered an entire pack of pirates by quoting the old 70s black comedy M*A*S*H
ninja Ninjas must have total control of their body and mind to ensure survival and victory. Male ninjas must act like emos and have a cute face, and female ninjas must wear tight revealing clothing. Alternatively, they can be sheer badasses and make their fans or fangirls squeal in delight or terror instead of going "Aww..." or having nosebleeds.
ninja Because ninjas run on a tight budget, they must constantly keep track of suplies. A ninja must remember how many shurikens they threw into that annoying jocks crotch, and whether or not they left their sword embedded in the face of the only witness.
ninja A ninja must be able to quote Naruto, Ninja Gaiden, Basilisk, and any other anime or game from memory in order to induce nerdgasms to ensure that there are no witnesses.
ninja If a ninjas identity is discovered, they must dispose of the witness by slicing the witness in half, removing the brain, and feeding it to a pack of chihuahuas.
ninja Ninjas are not required to adhere to an enemies honor or pride. While the bad guy is boasting, take that time to ready a kunai and throw it down the enemies throat.
ninja Ninjas always take time to spread rumors and to always make their enemies miserable, even if they don't have an opening to kill the target. One example is a rumor that a ninja spread saying that pirates never use the bathroom, they just explode when they are 30.
ninja If you saw a ninja but are still alive, then the ninja you saw was just a cosplayer. If it was a real ninja, you either didn't know it was a ninja. Or if you did witness a ninja in action, write out a will because you will die soon.
ninja Ninjas never leave behind a body if they are killed in action. They explode.
ninja The only way to kill a ninja is to get the ninja to watch an entire episode of Tokyo Mew Mew. Though if you are evil enough to do such a terrible deed, then you would be marked by the Hague for crimes against humanity.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:43 pm
that second one was awesome
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:30 am
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