Chunuka felt the sorrow crush him. The realisation that he wouldn’t find his father in the Kusini Lands almost too much to bear. What would he do now? He couldn’t go home to mother without finding him and bringing him back. He couldn’t stand to see that sad expression on her gentle, loving face.
He choked on a sob and flopped to his belly on the dirt.
“What am I going to do?” He murmured into his paws, wishing that he had even the smallest hint of what direction to take. The land was too big, too crowded. He’d never find one lion in the wilderness.
“Chunuka.” Hababuu had followed after the distressed lion, lying down beside him and nosing his side as she did with her own cubs. “Chunuka.” He was much bigger than her two little balls of fur but he was very much the same as them. Innocent, naïve, gentle and loving. She had been that way too, though she felt that time was slowly stripping her of that.
“Listen to me.” She nudged him gently, rubbing the side of her face firmly against his mane, purring gently. One might have considered it a loving, comforting caress, but it was Haba’s way of comforting one who clearly needed it.
“Listen to me, okay?” She whispered. “Don’t give up on him yet. He’s not here, but who’s to say he won’t be close by? Don’t lose hope.”
“How can you say that?” He murmured, too distressed to think straight. All he could see was the hopelessness of the situation he found himself in. He was bound by a promise he could not keep. He was destined to break his mother’s heart.
“I was so sure he’d be here. This was my only link. If he’s not here then he’s mindlessly wandering. I won’t have a chance at finding him.”
“Hush.” She patted his nose with a paw. “I forbid you to say such negative things.” She scolded gently, eyes soft even though her tone was a little rough.
“I lost someone too, you know, a long time ago when I was an adolescent.” Though honestly it hadn’t been all that long ago. “My twin brother. Oh I loved him dearly. He was like the other half of my soul. We shared mind, soul and heart. And then one day he disappeared. Like you I went out into rogue lands to find him. Then one day I came across a lead and I felt like suddenly it was really possible. I was really going to find him.”
She trailed off sadly, watching a beetle scurrying across the dust.
“What happened?” Chunuka prompted. “Did you find him?” His ears swivelled forwards intently, his heart lifting with hope despite himself. He was so much like a child in that respect.
“No.” Hababuu replied and her eyes shone with unshed tears. Tears that she refused to shed, though it pained her deeply to hold them back. “I met a friend out in the rogue lands who accompanied me. I adored him, there’s no other way to put it. I was terrified of going out there, you see, into the unknown. He found me, boosted my confidence and gave me the courage to continue my search.”
She paused, smiled softly. “One evening, I was lying next to him and then the next…” She shook her head as if wakening from a dream.
“Anyway, shortly after finding my lead, I discovered I was pregnant. I didn’t want to raise cubs in rogue lands so I had to come back home to the Kusini.”
“And the father of your cubs?” Chunuka asked, drawn into this girl’s story. He never would have guessed that such a simple, kindly creature would have had such pain in her life. Not only to lose her twin but also to be forced to give up the chase when she was so close to finding him.
But Chunuka had some sort of understanding of a mother’s bond. His own mother had risked her life to seek out her eldest son. Hababuu had done only what every other mother would and should do.
“Is he here with you now?”
“No.” Hababuu smiled softly. “The cubs are mine to raise alone, though not alone because I have family.” She sniffed. “Kemu was a true rogue at heart, a wandering soul. He was free as a bird and that was what made him beautiful. I couldn’t trap him with me. He had to be set free.”
“Besides, I’ll see him again one day; he’ll come to visit his children.”
“I don’t think I could do that.” Chunuka replied admiringly. “You must love him very much to let him go.” He purred softly. “I haven’t found love yet. I don’t think I ever will, not now. But I don’t think I’d be strong enough to let the one I loved go without a fight.”
“And that’s the way its supposed to be, isn’t it?” Haba laughed, nudging his shoulder with the side of her face. “That’s why it can’t be love. If I loved him I would have thought to keep him at my side, fought to keep him as a constant part in our children’s lives.”
She smiled. “And don’t say that you won’t fall in love. You’re still young; you have years to find the right person.”
“No, what you did was a great act of love. It was selfless and thoughtful.” Chunuka replied with a thrum. “But how would I know? I haven’t been in love.” He smiled. “Maybe if I’m lucky enough I’ll find someone. If not, I’m quite content with family. I have my sister and my brothers and mother. And maybe one day I’ll have a father again.”
“You will. If he loves you, he will return. Just like Kemu will return to me. The best thing you can do now is return home and be with your family. When your father is ready, he will come back to a family waiting for him.” She gave him a lick on the cheek and then rose onto all fours.
“Trust me.” She smiled. “Everything will work out.” And then she turned and padded back to her children.
Chunuka, raising his head in surprise at her affectionate action, gave a small appreciative nod. His hope was not fully restored but he knew that what Hababuu said was truth. The only way he’d get to see his father again was to go home and wait. Amari would return someday and when he did, his golden son would be waiting for him at the borders.
“Thank you.” He whispered, though Hababuu was already out of earshot.
