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Last week I ran away from home. Yay for being a teenager. My mom got drunk and told me that if I was going to continue to be ungrateful and selfish, that I can leave and never bother her again. Being the arrogant and stubborn teenager that I am, I did. I illegally drove to Los Angeles not an hour later. I left everything but a few changes of clothes, and some $70 cash. I left her a note explaining everything. Rather, I told her "This b***h has left the building. I'm done ruining your life. Don't call the cops or pull any amber alert bullshit. Just let me go."
Some explanations on that. b***h has become almost a pet name for me from her. Nice, huh? She also told me, earlier that evening, that the life she leads isn't the one she wanted. confused

So I left. I nervously called my sister from every payphone I saw, and at four in the morning on Friday two weeks ago, I arrived in Chatsworth, LA. I spent the morning sleeping in a Vons parking lot. Then I nervously called Mike, who doesn't get reception in his house for his cell. I was freaking out, because I had forgotten about that.
After about.. oh.. three hours at those payphones, wasting about $10 in quarters, and learning that my mom -did- call the cops to report me missing, I got ahold of him. He picked me up and brought me back to his place.
Yes, Mike, Kage No Oni, remember all of that? That Mike. He took me in for the week.

I had the time of my life that week. I was with a good friend, I felt good, I didn't have to worry about who was going to kill themselves next, or school obligations.

Until last friday, when my mom had her boyfriend call and threaten Mike.
FOR KEEPING ME SAFE, GOD ******** then called my mom, and what do you know, yes, she did set Rodney up to call Mike, when was I coming home, oh, and by the way, I'm calling the cops. Love you, Katie, buh bye.
Mike called her back and told her that he didn't have to put up with this, that this was threatening and blackmail, and there was a lot of unnecessary drama there.

I went home. Mike gave me gas money. (Because my mom wouldnt wire me any money.)

I came back to a ******** lockdown. No car, no phone, no internet, no money, no friends in large doses(say, more than a few hours), and housework or she'll prolong the sentance.

I understand her actions, but she's such a jailer about it. She could tell me to give her my key rather than dig through my stuff to find it. She could tell my brother to find his own ******** phone, rather than let him bang up mine. She could make me feel less like a criminal in front of my friends. She could stop calling me "b***h" every chance she gets. Stop using me as an excuse to get drunk and tell me I suck. And the fact that she threatened and blackmailed Mike.. I care for him very much, and that hurt me more than it hurt him.
I love my mother, but she's bringing me down.

I've got three and a half months until I'm eighteen.

I've already talked to my mom about emancipation, and she's all for it, but the trouble is, I need a job to get emancipated. And I can't get a job because I'm a high school drop out and I can only get the permit through a school. So that idea was trashed.
But if I have to live here much longer, I'm going to shoot myself in the ******** head.

I understand that she's putting a roof over my head, and clothes on my back, but right now, the basics arent enough. I feel like she's keeping me here out of obligation rather than love. And that hurts. I'd rather not be here. I don't know where I'd go, but I know for sure I'd rather be there instead. If thats so selfish, then fine, I'm selfish and I don't apreciate all that she's done for me. I just think my mental health is more important than thanking her for keeping me alive? I don't know what to think.

I don't know what to do.

Just keep looking to the future. Its not that much longer until you're 18.

double post.

Don't you have a GED Katie? That's what you told me...
Hey, you should come to Utah sometime and live at my house for a week. You'd scare the s**t out of my parents. xd

I'm working on my GED.

I'm worrying about my future, I really am. I'm at the point where I don't care if I'm making minimum wage for the next ten years if I can just get the ******** out.

I've made some pretty stupid decisions, and I see that now, yes, dumb teenager. Not an excuse, mind. There are better ways of taking a break, or whatever, I chose the most complicated way possible, and I didn't even bat an eyelash. I put at the very least 6 people in danger and under immense amounts of stress, and I realize my mistake, and am currently doing everything in my power to fix it.

The problem is the job right now. Well, and the fact that I feel like sticking my head in a blender every time I speak to my mother. But we'll save that problem for another time. I need a job in order to get out.
I need a work permit.
Drop out.
Need a job -now-.
GED takes some effort.
Studying, even.
Need the job NOW.
Unless I get a job under the table, it'll be a few months.

Hell, I need the job in order to stay. Either way, I need a job. Any suggestions?

The food industry is where I'm headed, anyways. I've already started an ROP cooking school in my school district. I could get a job at a restraraunt right now if I wanted to. Hell, if I stay another year, I won't have to start at entry level. I can go straight to the back.
Anyways.
I'm looking around for restaraunts that aren't.. Taco Bell, you know?
Hrmm.


Yeah, it really is the luck of the draw. My mom is so disappointed in me because she makes more than everyone in my neighborhood, and she dropped out of college. She was a music major. confused She seems to think anyone can do it.

I think a requirement to work at Taco Bell is the ability to speak some basic spanish.
I took french. gonk

Yeah, I hear what you are saying. I''m trying to avoid it as much as I can, but if it''s my only option, it''s my only option.

I am getting my applications out there.
Right now I'm sucking up to my old daycare from when I was 6. They'll hire me forsure.
Second choices are local restaraunts. I have the necessary training.
But I'll still apply at the crap jobs.