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 Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:56 pm
 A blind date. Something of wich a certain mercenary had set a certain space marshal named Josh up on not all that long ago. A blind date with a cousin of his girlfriend. Really all that had mattered was she was hot but not overly so, and that the initial look on Josh's face when he told him what had been planed was priceless. You couldn't buy moments like that. Oh no, it was like some comedy/drama or something.
Tossing that pebble at the boy's head while he spied on from the bushes was pretty fun to. And well the mercenary in question really didn't have much better to do. Not like people were jumping to hire him.
 'Last time on Days Where People's Lives Are So Unreal That You Just Have To Watch To Make Yourself Feel Like You Have A Better Life --Now that's a mouthful! With your host, the Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool! --Yeah yeah, I know. Here to break down the forth wall for 'ya and recap alllllllll that's happened! -Let's see I set Chucky up on a blind date with Aurum. But he couldn't be here with us today to talk about that. Since well...I locked him in the closet. I really don't know who keeps letting him out. Anyways all seemed well until he made the poor girl almost cry. But never fear! I just happened to have found my way into some nearby bushes and saw the whole thing! So of course I took action! Threw a whole pebble at his head. But now that I think about it, I should have gone with a stick. Or a log. That always leaves a good impression. After that things went pretty well, I know I was there. But oh no, I wasn't spying! I just happened to be in the area when it all went down. The two of 'em didn't head back to their homes till late, which is one of the reasons poor little Aurum got in trouble. Oh yes, that and she hadn't mentioned the blind date to anyone. Then again I didn't either. But who's counting that. Of course breaking the fourth wall like that means that by the next paragrah you read I'll have forgotten all of this by then. Darn those writters! For once it'd be nice to remember all this recap information. -Anyways tune in next time boys and girls, for when we recap what's been happening to a certain skull-faced punching bag, merc pal of mine!'
What went on in Wade's head was....well odd. Especially when it had to do with his personal narrative or wants to recap of things. Claming to have come from a comic book was indeed something one could believe when he opened his mouth. But still was a very ridiculous thought. Either way, he never remembered his 'recaps for the readers' moments. It was simply as though they never happened. Which they probably never did, and you as a reader just imagined the whole thing.
Deadpool does have that kind of affect on people.
The red clad merc was lying outside the Place, just soaking in the sun and snoozing the day away. An empty cheesy poof bag over one masked ear, and orange crumbs upon his gloves and the ground around him. Why was he outside snoozing and not inside, infront of the TV? Who knew. Maybe someone had finally pushed him away from the TV, or tossed him outside. Or something probably very ridiculous that you couldn't even explain.
[ Deadpool's recap blurb is just kinda what he does. XD He doesn't actually know what happened after Aurum went home and talked to Ed. And he wont remember even doing the recap. Tis mainly there for some forth wall breakage (since he hasn't really been doing that much) and for some funny. Kill Wade-muse for it not me! D; ]
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:08 am
 A blind date.. someone had sent his little girl on a blind date. And that someone was none other than what he had referred to as Bryna's "boy toy" Deadpool or Wade. He'd never actually met the guy in person, but he knew of him. After all, Bryna had shown off her eggs during the Christmas party, back when they had announced Lilianna's pregnancy as well. In some twisted obscure way, they were family.. but well, that was no excuse! Edward was not a happy fellow, and after getting some tips on where to find Aurum's Uncle Wade, he was steadily marching that way.
He couldn't believe that Aurum had actually listened to that freak and gone on a date with someone she didn't even know. And yes, that guy had to be a freak for what person in their right mind would call themselves 'Deadpool' anyway? Stepping out of the house, Edward found him. The small kitsu walking around the guy to stand infront of him and give him the most dirty glare he could possibly muster. He certainly looked like a freak too with that.. costume or whatever it was he wore. "You're Wade, right?" he asked, a dangerous inflection in his tone of voice. This guy was going to get it.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:34 pm
Bryna's boy toy, something of which Wade would have most definitely objected to being called. Well that was if anyone but Bryna called him such a thing. He too had never met Edward and if he had even been mentioned to the merc he had forgotten long ago. He had such a hard time trying to remember those in Bryna's family, and it really wasn't high priority knowing who was who. He didn't quite care. It was more of he'd acknowledge that someone was in her family and that was that. Whether he knew the other's name or not. Probably the reason as to why he had taken to calling Hemi 'donut-guy'.
Freak was a very common word used to describe the Merc with a Mouth. Among other things. And there was a reason he had taken the name 'Deadpool' not that he had ever taken to explaining why to anyone since he had come to this world. Actually he had never really explained it to many back in his own world. It was something that mostly came out in rants or if someone really really wanted to know.
Ears twitched as the soud of a voice echoed though the merc's skull. Tiny orange crumbs floate down out of the bag on his ear to the top of his head. He cracked an eye open, yawning before sitting up. Wade blinked, looking Ed up and down, he hadn't quite noticed the look in his eye and that tone in his voice. This guy sure was.....short. Very very much so. "Yeah. That's me. Who's asking?" he let out another yawn.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 1:27 pm
Edward was practicly seething as he watched the weirdo with a bag on his ear act so... nonchalant. His frown deepened, if it possibly could, when the guy finally spoke.
"Edward Elric, Aurum's father" he replied none-too-pleased. Golden eyes narrowed slightly as Wade looked him up and down. He was trying to be calm... he really was! But being the over protective father he was, it was really hard to keep his temper in check.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:44 pm
Nonchalant. Still not fully awake. Comepletely oblivious to Edward's anger. Dense would have been a pretty good word used to describe Deadpool at the current time.
Aurum's father. Aurum's father. Had he ever met him? No he didn't think so. He really didn't remember the short little guy, or anything ever mentioned to him about the blonde haired male. Knowing a bit about the other male would have helped and chances were could have stoped him from saying what he did next. "Yeah, okay. Great to meet you little guy." Maybe, just maybe knowing that Ed didn't like comments about his height would have caused the merc to stop and think before he spoke. Then again, knowing the way Wade was, he probably would have made the unintentional crack at Ed's height anyways.
Eyes glanced up to the bag on his ear, blinking. How did he managed to get that there? Lifting a paw he pulled it off his ear, and brushed the crumbs off his head. How long had that bag been there? And how long had the crumbs? Oh well, it didn't really matter much. "What can I do for you?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:06 pm
Okay, so we all know what's coming next. Thus is really not surprising how Ed reacts to those first words out of Deadpool's mouth, accept to maybe Deadpool himself. One can almost see the veins rupturing in the blonde's skull as the word "little" is used.
An automail paw reaches out to grab Deadpool by the collar or... whatever fabric he can get ahold of to pull his face mere centimeters from Edward's own as he yells. "LITTLE?! WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU COULD CRUSH LIKE AN ANT! AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SET UP MY DAUGHTER ON A BLIND DATE YOU DUMBASS JERK!" All this said in one breath which cause's Ed to turn red and have to take in a great amount of air once he's spouted out that entire rant.
Yes it could be said that Edward was overreacting, but Edward never did anything without great vigor and enthusiasm once he put his mind to it.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:14 pm
Eyes widened as a paw reached out grabing the merc and pulling his face incredibly close to the other male's. He barely had time to blink when Edward began to shout at him. Yelling in Wade's face was certainly one way to make sure he was paying attention, and get your message across, though doing such a thing would rile up many different reactions from him. Some not so good.
Currently it seemed that utter confusion was causing Deadpool from reacting in any other way then talking.
"Why is it always the little ones that are loud and high-strung?" he uttered, pulling himself back and giving his head a good knock with a paw as if to clear his head out and make sure his hearing was still intact.
He stared at Ed for a moment, before flipping his ears back. "Crush like an ant? You can get smaller? They have Pym particles here? When did that happen? --Oh, oh! Or is it some other super-powered super-shrinking ability! You know that's pretty cool. I was three-inches tall or something this one time. Kicked some major @$$. Didn't help all that much with the job offers, but hey who else gets to add something like that to their resume -excet maybe Ant-Man." He was getting off track, and so early on.
It took a few more minutes for it to click in his head that he should probably say something about what else Edward had mentioned when shouting in his face. "--No need for names shorty, she was the one that agreed to it. And it's not like anything happened. I know these things." A nod and a grin.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:51 pm
He would have left the short matter thing at that... that is if Wade hadn't committed atleast 8 more verbal violations. Edward had released his grip on Deadpool as soon as he had pulled back.. only now he launched himself Wade with intent to pounce and pin... and not in a friendly manner. He may be small, but he sure was heavy for his size, thanks to those chunks of metal he called limbs.
"DON'T call me SHORTY! I'm NOT LITTLE or SMALL or TINY! It really PISSES ME OFF! I don't care what you know! I don't know YOU and for that matter, I don't LIKE you already! So DON'T go playing matchmaker with MY daughter!" The little alchemist snorting and huffing like a mad bull. He hadn't gotten this riled in some time, and was long overdue.
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:43 pm
As he was let go, the merc gave his head a shake, opening his mouth to say something else when....He was bowled over. Or rather pined down. The little guy was pretty heavy for his size, that was for sure and chances were the Merc with a Mouth was going to say something rather inappropriate. If Edward hadn't started screaming.
It had seemed like a very long while since he'd been shouted at. Ok, well aside from the inappropriate comments he tended to make to almost all of the females he met. That however was a completely different story.
"What about teeny? mini? itsy-bitsy?" Wade smiled, it oviously wasn't sinking through. Or it was and he just didn't care. "But really Eddie...Can I call you Eddie? Great. Don't start Hulking out on me or anything, I just ate....I think." It really was no wonder as to why people tended to slice his trachea, keep him from talking if only for a while.
Deadpool could be downright annoying.
"You have no idea how much I hear those words, Eddie. People tell me that they don't like me all the time. Could never figure out why. Must be my good looks. -Anyways, I wouldn't exactly call it matchmaking. It was more of shoving two people together to see what happened. And besides from what I could tell she had fun. So what are you so worried about?" he arched a brow.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:31 pm
Edward eyetwitched at each of those words refering to small. However, it seemed to him that this guy was trying to press his buttons on purpose. So the alchemist tried.. VERY HARD.. to calm himself before he end up trying to kill the guy. Edward scowled at Wade's smile though, clearly not amused.
"NO.. you can not call me Eddie." Guh. What a horrible nickname.
Yes, Deadpool was downright annoying, Edward had already established this. Thus he just wanted to make his point and leave, because he honestly couldn't stand him. "Its because you don't know when to shut up" Ed seethed, glaring.
What was he worried about? True it looked like Aurum had fun.. but she was so naive and easily taken advantage of! He didn't trust this guy not to put his daughter with someone that would figure this out. Whether intentional or not. He didn't trust Deadpool's judge of character. Sure he was overprotective, and likely overreacting, but that was Ed. "Plenty. Stay away from her. I mean it."
With that, Edward started to stalk off back the way he came.
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:45 pm
Wade trying to bother someone on purpose? ...Well yes, chances were that was right. With his constant uttering of words refering to small stature, the idea of the other male not liking those words must have sunk in. Right?
And now. Now he couldn't call him Eddie either? He'd probably end up using that name for Ed for a while, after all he refered to Josh as Chucky dispite the fact that he knew the boy's actual name and knew that he had been told not to call him what he currently was. Deadpool just didn't learn with these things.
"Oh I can shut up. I mean all someone would have to say is shut up to me and then I'm quiet as can be. Silent like you would not believe." a pretty ovious lie, especially when you had the title of 'Merc with a Mouth'. You didn't get called something like that by staying quiet. In fact he couldn't even stay quiet when he was straped to a device that would eventually crush him the more he talked. He would go on and on about nothing if he felt like it.
"Alright, sure thing Eddie. Whatever you say. -Can't make any promises though."
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