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 Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:25 pm
Reguis shook out his long mane, as he stared sightlessly out across the grass lands. He had been gone a while, thinking and training and... avoiding coming home. If all was fair in the world, she would have moved on but he doubted it. And he wanted her to have waited for him. Wanted her to still want him. He shook his head. So selfish, he was. His mane drifted in front of his eyes, tickling his nose. He didn't bother moving it, not like he needed to see through it anyway. A slow smile crept over his features. Laqueta He thought, letting his mind wander I wonder where you are? He rose to his feet slowly, pacing through the high grass. Of course, he had nothing to fear, even though he was blind. Nothing was close enough to harm him, though there was a herd of gazelle not far from where he paced. Far enough that they wouldn't be spooked by his presence, though he would know, through them, if any other predators came into the area. Reg smiled and wondered where she was.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:54 pm
On the far side of the field away from Regius, Laqueta was laying motionless in the grass watching the gazelle graze and play, the only motion coming from her flicking ear as a fly buzzed too near it, as she mentally cataloged each potential target. She knew this herd well, having followed it for what seemed like many ages...at least long enough to see the youngest grow into fine adults. They had grown to know her as well, knowing that if she made herself known without attacking that they were safe...and then the killer side of her when she was hungry...but each accepted it as a part of life, doing their best to survive in a harsh and cruel land. She was careful to pick out only those she knew wouldn't survive the seasons ahead...but her hunting brought her no joy.
Really, what it'd come down to her case was survival. She was waiting for the day to that she could once more feel again, let her heart soar. Even the most beautiful day seemed dull and bleak, and her unsocial-ness had risen to almost an obsession...not that her family even noticed she was missing anyways. They were caught up in their own little lives and dramas. She never had been of much consequence to her family...MAYBE her sister, but...even that was debatable. And being princess? Hah...she'd never been treated like one, not that she cared to be anymore anyways. This was her life now. Alone...and waiting.
Waiting for the day for her love to come back to her...if he ever would. The day he'd disappeared had broken her heart...she'd spent a long time looking for him, wanting to urge him to quit this stupid obsession...and yet he would not. She'd finally accepted it after all, becoming not much more than a ghost haunting the lands they'd traveled together, refusing to let herself feel or remember those poignant moments between them. Pining for the day he'd return, and yet realizing there was a strong possibility he would not. Still, her heart was his...and forever would be. She knew without question that even if he never returned, she'd still be roaming these lands alone looking for her lost lover for many years to come....long after hope had been removed, refusing to do more than function on the basic of levels and nothing more.
Her blinked a few times to clear the tears that threatened to fall at the thought of her love, Regius...will you ever come back to me? echoing hallowly in her head as she tried to refocus on the hunt. Taking a few deep breaths to get her focus back, she selected a young buck who was not quite an adult and had barely managed to escape some predator in the night at the cost of losing most of the function of his back left leg (the skin was hanging in a long flap from his flannk...how he'd managed to escape let alone live this long was a wonder to her). Inching forward, she waited for her moment. It didn't take but a few minutes and the buck was weakly struggling under her paws as she cut off it's windpipe and waited for it to die, it's relatives still seen running in the distance. For a moment, tears once more obstructed her gaze as her eyes fell on the scar that still stood out on the inside of her leg. Closing her eyes, she murmured to the darkness, "Oh...how I miss you..."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:12 pm
A different sense in the ground below jerked his head around. Regius turned toward the hurt. It wasn't fear so much as resignation he felt from them then. Resignation and a touch of something else... sorrow, he thought. Powerful, heart wrenching sadness. He frowned. The gazelle never felt like that, for as long as he had hunted them. He took slow steps toward the herd, listening to the anxious wickers and the way they stamped their feet. They shied away from him. Up ahead something was feasting. Reg circled wide around the herd, moving silently though the tall grass. He couldn't tell, not from here. He wasn't quite upwind, not enough that the predator would be able to smell him. He was sure of that. He circled around slowly. The herd didn't seem to notice him much, ignoring him in fear of the other. He smiled softly. They were fools if they were not afraid of him. Confidence filled his steps where hesitation had lived before. He had truly changed from the barely adult creature he was, a emotion fool who let self pity get the best of him. Regius smiled. Patience, and he would have a that feast he could hear in the distance. It never took much. Other lions never seemed to think he was a threat They never knew until he had beaten them and taken the food. What need was there for him to fight to make an easy kill? He much preferred taking from others. With a low chuckle, he stepped down wind of the other, inhaling. A lioness. She was sad, though. That was where that peculiar scent was coming from, then. He stalked closer, making not a sound. As he did, Reg noticed somethign familiar about that scent. Something... something... His head jerked up, mouth falling open. He couldn't help it, staring ahead sightlessly. She was here. Laqueta. His heart skipped a beat as he stood motionless. Why was she sad? Why was she here? Does she hate him? Does she...? Regius quelled his frantic thoughts and took a step forward. He was close now.
A slow smile crept over his face.
"Boo."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:35 pm
She was feasting but it gave her no pleasure, merely allowed her to continue on her weary way, watching...ever watching. She focused on it to the exclusion of all else, listening only for the roaming bands of hyenas she tended to come across this time of day as their time of greatest activity neared. It was a dangerous time to be alone and she focused on finishing her meal as quickly as possible. All of a sudden, from directly behind her came a sound.
"Boo."
It scared her out of her wits and even as she jumped, she whirled around ready to defend her meal at all costs. Ears back, fangs bared and claws out, she snarled at the newcomer (how the heck did she not hear him coming?) letting him know she was not one to mess with no matter how big and tough he thought he was. Slowly the growl died as she realized something was....familiar...about this lion, and her gaze changed from one of pure hatred to joy as she finally let it sink in that Regius was back.
Yet...something held her back from the true welcoming she longed to give him. She was angry at him for his obsession having taken him away in the first place, hurt that he'd disappeared on her, and now that she let herself feel all that, she honestly had no idea how to cope with it all. A part of her wanted to turn her back on him as he had on her, the other wanting to bury her face in his mane...but how could she trust him not to leave her again? Confused about how to proceed, she sat down and let her gaze fall to the ground and to her kill. Lamely she said, "There's enough for us both if your hungry..."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:17 pm
Regius found himself laughing. He couldn't help it. She was as easy to read as a book. It was nice, though it hurt to scent the emotions running through her. His laughter dies, though, when he realized he was laughing. Not the right reaction to what she had said, to her confusion. He took a step toward her, then another, until he was close enough to breathe her breath. He stopped there, though, to let her choose if she still wanted... He bit back the thought.
"There is really nothing I can say to you to make the pain you felt, you feel go away." he said softly. He didn't sound remorseful, though, just like he was stating facts. "I had some things to do on my own, some thing I didn't want to get you involved with. You... You would have gotten hurt." Reg said softly. He himself had spent a long time healing but he didn't want her to know that. It was enough that he had the scars hidden under his fur. No one would know. He had not been idle in his time away. He had not wanted to but her through that. Reg had not wanted to put himself through it. He almost snorted, but refrained. He did not regret leaving. It taught him a lot. He did regret hurting her, and he let it show. A little. Emotions were almost foreign to him now. "I missed you."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:46 pm
Deja vu all over again, she remembered him laughing at her before too, at her pain, and for a moment she's able to compose herself and stare him in the face, her anger growing. She didn't move as he came closer till they were nearly nose to nose, but his first statement made her lose control and she swatted him as hard as she could with the only the pad of her paw across his face, using the momentum to turn her back on him. Hurt? HURT?! Hell, he didn't know how much he'd hurt her. It was only her love for him that kept her rooted to the spot right at that moment in time.
"I missed you."
She snorted in responce, but it was hard to tell if it was in disbelief or a sob a she worked to keep her emotions under control. In point of fact, it was a bit of both. Keeping her eyes locked on the far horizon she tried to think of something to say, to make him understand just how hard this had been on her, how she'd spent most of her life pining after him and suspected it would always be that way. "What have you missed most? The fact I've spent my life worshiping the very ground you walk on? I've spent so much of my life waiting for you to come back to me, only to be tossed aside again....time and again, it happens. You'd think I'd of learned my lesson by now."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:03 pm
He growled, a deep rumble starting low in his chest and vibrating it's way up. His white eyes sparked with anger as he turned back to her, his head having been turned to the side with the force of her blow. It didn't hurt, not really. Not after what he had been though, but it was the thought of the thing. Did she really think she had the right to be so angry? He leaped over her, landing in front of the girl, between her and her kill. He twisted to face her, lips curled back in a snarl. He was still growling, a bit of madness showing in those white eyes of his. He stalked forward, clawing digging far into the earth.
"Do you think that I will allow this?" He snarled. "After all I have done, after all I have tried to do to shield you from one side of my life and you have the audacity to hit me?" He snapped his teeth on the air in front of her nose. Her words slowly sank past the haze that gripped his mind. They just infuriated him further, pulling his lips back as far as they would go. "If you think I have tossed you aside again and again..." His voice was dangerously quiet. "Then run, Laqueta, my little love." He took another step forward, using his size to try and intimidate her. "Run, for you have never understood a word I have uttered. Run," His voice dropped into a dark growl. "Because you should never hit someone you don't have an intention of killing."
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:58 pm
Laqueta was surprised at the ferocity that he greeted her actions and words with, and in pure surprise she did back up a step or two. She'd never seen this side of him ever in her life, and it scared her. He had changed in his time away, not that she hadn't expected him to be angry in responce, but she certainly hadn't expected an outright threat. Her initial shock over with, she bared her fangs at him in responce, but didn't attack nor run away as he approached closer, taking only a short moment to decide her course of action.
It was an easy choice too, as she knew she'd never run. Not because he was by far bigger than she was and could easily kill her, but becaus in the end it boiled down to the fact she loved him too damn much to ever leave him. Letting all her anger ebb and die, she realized she'd been stupid to be so mad at him but the hurt had been done and she had a price to pay, even if it was her life.
Laying down, she bared her neck and stomach to him, and gazed up with defiant pride, accepting what fate he decided to deal. "Do as you will, I will not fight nor run. My life has always been yours for the taking, my heart is yours to do with as you wish." Her words were quietly spoken, mechanical and without emotion, yet a sense of finality lingered in them. Her fate had always been in his paws, he'd always known that as much as she did.. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes and in the darkness waited for him to make his choice....
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:19 am
Well, that wasn't what he expected. Those words, so empty, so... Regius growled slightly, though it wasn't directed at her. It was at this situation. How could she allow herself to become so fixated on him that she was willing to let him kill her, if he chose. Why would she think he would actually harm her? Subdue her, yes, but not really hurt her. Reg knew he had changed a great deal but if she thought that he would... He frowned. Of couse, this could be a display of her trust but it seemed the opposite to him. She didn't seem to trust him at all now, not with this display. He bent his head with a sigh, nuzzling her neck gently. He reveled in her scent, something he had been dreaming about since he had vanished. Of couse, in those daydreams, she had always been happy to see him. Hurt, true, but happy. This... this was not happy. Not by a long shot.
"I am not sure if you are being silly... or stupid." He said softly, pulling back from her. He did not want to but... His empty eyes fixed on her. He kept what he was feeling carefully out of his voice, his eyes. To show this longing, this pain at what he had to say would undo all the good it would cause. "My heart will be yours for as long as you choose to keep it." He said softly, turning his head from her. "I will take your heart. It is mine." He tried to keep the posessivnes out of his voice. It didn't work. He cleared his throat, mentally berating himself. "You're life must be your own. I will not take that from you. I wish to be part, a large part of it, but it must be your life." He took a step away from her. "You cannot live for me, Laqueta. I will not allow it." He turned back to her slowly. "You must live for you, my love." It would save her so much pain. It would keep her alive. She had to stay alive.
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:57 am
She tensed when he growled, and even flinched when he nuzzled her. For some reason, she hadn't been expecting that reaction at all, when she should of known all along he'd never hurt her, even if she'd chosen to run...but she was no longer sure she even knew him anymore, he'd changed so much since she'd last seen him. Yet...
Sighing, she rolled over onto her side and opened her eyes to watch him. He was so...she wasn't sure what the word was she was looking for to describe him, and could tell that even though he was trying to keep all emotion from his voice and actions, there was still a part of her that was attuned to him that told her he was still the Regius that she knew loved her with all his heart. She heard his words, and the deeper meaning behind them. The possiveness he did let through didn't even bother her...why should she be bothered by the truth that they both knew? Yes, he had changed, but he was hers, and she his. That's all that mattered.
Without a word, she got slowly to her feet and padded towards him without fear or hesitation that she'd displayed earlier and soon and licked his cheek before burying her face in his mane, taking in the scent that she'd missed so much while he'd been away. Leaning against him, she finally pulled her face out and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. "My heart has been yours since the day we met, my life has been yours as well, and I've given both to you of my own free will. So shall it remain for the rest of my life. Your heart...I'll be honest, Regius, and admit that there are times I've wondered if it truly was mine. Perhaps...perhaps you did make the best choice to leave without telling me, because you know that I'd of done my best to stop you more than likely cause I never wanted to see you hurt. Each time you've gone, my fear grows that you'll never come back, and when you do...my heart knows it's only a matter of time before you leave again. I hate this waiting, this never knowing if I'll ever see you again tomorrow when the sun rises, or...." She let her words fade, knowing he knew what she was talking about in both senses of the phrase. She never knew if he'd go off on some quest again to make himself stronger, or end up dead due to this obsession, and either way she's left to wander alone. "I'm just so tired of being alone..." was all she could finally say before once more burying her face in his mane to hide her tears.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:02 am
Regius sighed softly, wanting to shake his head, but then she would move. "I'm not going to leave again, Laqueta. I have no desire to." He took a step back so his scent didn't mingle with hers. He wanted to be able to smell her emotions, since he could not see her. "I have done what I have needed to out there in the world. It holds no call for me anymore." Well, that was a lie. He frowned. It was so easy to fall into bad habits. "No, that's wrong. The world beyond this place still beckonds me but..." He smiled, a flash of white in the darkness of his face. "Next time I leave, I will bring you with me, should you want to come. I won't just vanish..." He really shouldn't say that. There might be a time where he might have too, to keep her safe. He sighed again. He really was worse then she ever could think him to be. "I won't vanished unless something happens, something bad, then I may but not... Not to be away from you." He frowned. "If I do leave, it is to keep you safe." He seemed to be just granting empty promises, but she was the only thing that kept him from leaving completely. There was no telling what he would do if she came to harm. Ironic, then, that he should hurt her so much. He sighed again.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:04 pm
Laqueta smiled when Regius first promised never to leave her again, starting to relax, but then he moved away from her and she looked at him in confusion, the smile dying even before it'd really begun to blossom. She searched his eyes, his face, trying to find some glimpse of hope, but even as he kept contradicting himself, she came to understand her heart had been right. He would leave, maybe not soon, but eventually...
No, she wouldn't stand for it. No way in hell. Her face became stony hard and she lifted her chin up a little higher. "No. Next time you leave, I'm coming. I don't care what you say, what arguments you make, I AM coming. Even if I have to follow behind you and dog your every step I'm coming. I understand you want me to be safe, you don't want to see me hurt, but you realize just how much it hurts to wonder if everytime I go to sleep if you'll even be there in the morning? Not to mention when you're gone, if I'll ever see you again? More of my heart and soul is broken...not just when you leave, but when you come back too because I know it's never meant to last..." Her voice faltered, and her face softened a fraction as she tried to get what she wanted to say straight in her mind. There was so much that she wanted him to understand and know.
Shaking her head, she took a deep breath and plowed onward. "No....no more. My mother cast me and my sister aside after we were born. My father cares less that I'm alive, and never even notices when I'm gone from the pride. And my sister? She and I have never been close. My title of Princess is nothing short of a cosmic joke upon which some Goddess is having a nice laugh over. Truthfully...I have no family. The only thing that ties me here is memories of you, and that I always hope deep down you'll come back. You're all I have...but it never lasts. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of watching, I'm tired of this path. I'm tired of feeling utterly alone even when I can touch you and feel you...it's not fair and it's not right."
She said this last part while reaching out her left paw to trace a line down the side of his face tenderly, tears darkening her light fur, but smiling. She knew this was the right choice for her to make. She let her paw fall and gazed for a moment to the horizon before turning back to him. Her voice was softer, full of love and determination. "You say I need to make my life my own...then fine. THIS is what I choose. I want to be happy, but we continue this charade, one day I fear you may never find me here..."
She glanced down at her paws, her gaze falling upon her scar and how at one point she'd nearly committed suicide. She thought of how every time he came back, she could fool herself into thinking he wouldn't do it again, live for the moment, but every time he left, the loneliness was so much harder to bear. To be quite honest, she couldn't take this much longer, and she feared it might one day drive her to it. Looking back up, she pleaded, "Don't ask me to do this anymore, I can't take it."
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:11 pm
"I am not asking anything of you." Regius said softly. There was an emptiness in his voice, in his eyes. A cold emptiness that he had picked up while he was away. He had been a bleeding heart, a simpering fool. Living out there had forced him to grow up quite abruptly. He was forced to look at himself and see himself as he truly was. There was nothing that could change that now. He knew, through the battle, the trials, he faced. He knew through the scars he was hiding. He knew and still, here he was again. Laqueta had laid her heart, her life, before him again and again. It seemed that all he seemed to be able to do is break her, again and again. But... How could he promise what he could not give? How could he tell her what he had done while he was gone?
That those past demons may find him here? That just being within a hand breath of him could be sealing her fate? Regius never wanted to leave her side again. He wanted to take her with him, to share most of the things he had learned, had seen. Frustration welled up within him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. He knew, gods, he knew. His lips curled back from his teeth in frustration. She would probably take it wrong, he thought, be he couldn't help it. He was just so... so... he wanted to scream and break things. "I can't... I don't..." He ground his teeth together. "You don't know and I... I can't tell you." He fell over on his side, rolling on to his back. "I can't promise you what you want me to. I want to, truly, but... I can't."
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:36 am
She watched his reactions, her gaze locked his eyes and face, seeing the frustration that was there, and watching his body tense up. It was a major internal battle he was fighting, she knew, but she also knew at the same time she wasn't going to do this anymore...never again. Soon as he flopped over onto his side, she padded over and laid down against his back, one forepaw on his shoulder and her head laying on his mane with her mouth close to his ear.
"I know I don't know what you've been through, nor can I really say I have a good idea after even knowing you this long...but I WANT to know, I want to be a part of your life. I want to know what you've been through, the lessons, the longings of your heart, your dreams and even your demons. I want to know what makes you you. I want to be with you, to fight side by side. I want you to be the father of my cubs, to care for you when your hurt, to cheer you on in the heat of battle....and I know you want all that too. Let me into your life, love, don't make me sit off to the side and wonder if every night will be our last, if every morning I'll awake to find you gone never to see you again. This is no way for two lions who love each other, mates, should live. I know you don't want me hurt, but love, no physical pain could ever hurt worse than what I've suffered these last months. We both have our scars, things that will never go away, both inside and out, we are not so different in some ways."
She closed her eyes, taking in a lungful of his scent while she let her words work in his mind. Yes, even if he fought this, she knew this was the only path for her. "I won't ask you to promise what you can't, but don't make me promise to do something I can't do either. I am coming with you, even if I have to hunt you down. I love you, Regius, more than words can ever express....I only ask you let me into your world. Teach me to see it as you do..."
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:42 pm
"You won't like my world, my love." Regius growled softly. He had stiffened at the mention of scars, though he knew she could not see the ones that graced his skin. His fur was to thick for that. And he wished, once again, for the sight that would let him look upon her. She was speaking only the truth but.. Damn it. It wasn't fair to keep her out of his life and it wasn't fair to let her in. She would end up hurt, or worse, either way. He ground his teeth in frustration and rolled away from her, back onto his feet. "You don't understand what you are asking of me." He shook his head. "You don't understand that if someone catches your scent on me, he will hunt you until he kills you, just to get back at me." Reg snorted, determined not to go into the why of that but still. "And cubs, I shutter to think what would happen. Even if I am with you, I don't know if I can protect you from him." He wanted to bite his tongue, but the words spilled out anyway. "I love you and could not bare it if you were hurt because of me. He wouldn't just kill you, he would shatter you and leave you for me to find. He would break you, mind, body, and soul. Do you understand yet? How can I take you into this life? How can I even be so selfish as to want it?" He nearly bite his own tongue in two trying to stop that last sentence. Because he did want it. He wanted to share his life with her, to be the father of her children, to say with her for as long as they lived. "How can you be so foolish as to offer me everything that I want, no matter the cost to you?"
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