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 Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:58 pm
Well my name is Chelsea, and I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while a little thing called WOW has been sucking up internet time but that's besides the point.
I'm kind of hoping for some advice.
Well my fiance and I are getting married in December and we're both in school and working. (but still living with his mom) I found out I was pregnant yesterday, despite being on the pill and him only having one working... well you can guess. We both know the only way for us to be able to afford my phd and get our own place is for me to get an abortion, but I just don't know if I can deal with it. There's not really any other option but I'm afraid that this will just destroy me emotionally.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated...
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:22 am
Well I say you discuss the matter with your fiance and of course you can still go to school ..Just have to budget things a bit better. But the best advice is for both of you a discuss the pros and cons of having a baby now and not having a baby.
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:08 pm
You and he should sit down and discuss this, in length. Bring up exactly what your worries are, his might be the same.
A little story for you: I have friends who graduated from college this past May. They had already gotten married, but were not planning on having a baby for quite some time. She ended up pregnant. They did have the baby, it has been hard for them though. He is in his first year of graduate school, she is young and feeling like she is missing out on many things. But, they love their baby and spoil him rotten. They are great parents. They have had many things they have had to overcome, money being a huge one! They have more ordeals in store for them still. I'm not saying this is what you have to, or should do.
If the thought of abortion is something to terrible for you there is always the option of putting the baby up for adoption. Yes, you still have to carry the child, which will be hard, but there are many people out there who want children and are not able to have them. Most times the family who will be adopting the child pay for your expenses: travel, medical, etc.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:04 am
Hon, the decision is up to you and your future hubby. I know that I am not against abortion but my hubby is. I think it is up to the individual. Whatever your decision is ... you are not alone. Hollar if you need to talk.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:44 am
You guys should think this over good and hard and have some really good discussions. Not only is having a baby a big decision but aborting/adopting out one is just as big. Even if you have all that going on you may still be able to do what you want as well. Is your family willing to help out with watching the baby for a little bit? Or help in any other ways? That could really make a huge difference. You never know what you're capable of handling and managing until you have to do it. My mom finished up both her bachelors and continued on to finish grad school all the while having to raise 5 kids on her own. I'm just saying you really never know. and I don't want you to rush into something you may regret more later.
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:37 am
I must say that this is something you and he both need to think through a lot.
When I was 18, I became pregnant very unexpectedly. The thought of abortion crossed my mind, but I personally could not do it. (I believe it's wrong.) I also thought about adoption, which is a great option in my opinion. That way a family who cannot physically have a child can have one. But I didn't choose that either, because my boyfriend and I decided we could not live knowing that our child is out there, somewhere without us. So we decided to keep the baby.
Now our daughter is almost 9 months old. It has been really hard, but it has been worth it every step of the way. Looking at her now, I cannot imagine that I once thought about an abortion. She is my world. (I can't believe this... I'm getting all teary eyed now...)
I hope that you two make the best decision, whatever that decision may be. But I do hope that if you decide not to keep the baby, I hope that you at least choose adoption.
Edit: Also abortion is a dangerous procedure! You could be seriously injured! And if you actually look up the different ways of how it's done... It's quite vile.
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Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 7:13 am
like this matters being posted a month later..
that is a big BIG disision.. for even if you ask others there would be two anwesers.. its your choice or dont do it..
personaly.. the amount of money spent on the procedure would not be the best.. since its still a somewhat surgical procedure. but carring them to term would be even more.
my advice.. explore every option.. leave abortion for the last. there could be a woman that would love a child.. and my even help pay for the costs. you never know.. i wish you all the best in your disision. for haveing a child is no small matter..
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