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 Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:09 pm
Well, a little background: My wife's parents have always had an extreme dislike for me. My wife and I are young, 21 to be exact and our oldest child is 6. So that never set well with them. My wife, Sarah, is one of those people who cares a lot about what other people think of her, especially her family.
A few weeks ago her parents called her and gave her an ultimatum. Them or me. She took a week or so to think about it and respond to them with a letter. Explaining the obvious fact of her choosing me and how it made them horrible people, blah blah blah.
This has obviously torn her up. I know its partly my fault, but I could have never known her parents were going to be complete douche bags and just give up on their daughter.
My question is ... what can I do?
I'm there for her, I listen to her when she wants to talk. But I feel as though I should be doing more.
If you were in this situation, what would you want from your spouse?
Or is this just one of those things where I just need to be there for her and that's all I can do?
Sarah isn't open about things she likes or not. When she's depressed nothing seems to please her but it always seems to upset her more. You'd think I'd know how to comfort her after all this time, but I haven't learned. confused
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:17 am
I think that in this situation it's best if you just support her and her decision. Be a comforting shoulder for her to cry on, and be willing to listen to anything she has to say. I'm sure that her choice wasn't an easy one to make, but then again, the ultimatum wasn't a fair one to begin with.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:08 pm
No not at all. But her parents have always been in and out of her life. She isn't a bad person, they are bad people. And they pin it on her.
It's tough to do just that though. I want to do more.
Thanks for the input. smile
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:06 am
Really, be there for her. Reassure her through your actions that she made the right decision.
That's really harsh of her parents, though. How are your parents with her?
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:23 am
Mrs Eddie Really, be there for her. Reassure her through your actions that she made the right decision. That's really harsh of her parents, though. How are your parents with her? My parents love her more than they love me it seems. My mom knows what's going on and is always offering to do things with her, go shopping, to a bar ... but some times I think that makes it worse.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:25 am
I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years. I didn't speak to my mom for 7 years. Then I wrote her a note and said to let the past be the past and if you can accept that then you are welcome to write me. No phone calls. It was hard but when I married my husband I gave my life to him. He and I became one. His family is good to me. I appreciate that but soemtimes I still miss my biological family. I cry on him and get mad about stuff when its really my hurt from the way my family treated me that I'm mad at.
Your wife has a family - you and your son. Tell her that. You may find this odd but someemtimes it helps to hear things like that. It may seem like something obvious but but remind her. be there for her. And I hope she sees that her family is poisonous and you and the family you have together is the best cure in the world.
And make her a nice cake or get some flowers (pick them from the yard if you can) and give her a big hug. Simple things mean so much.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:31 pm
Sabotabby I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years. I didn't speak to my mom for 7 years. Then I wrote her a note and said to let the past be the past and if you can accept that then you are welcome to write me. No phone calls. It was hard but when I married my husband I gave my life to him. He and I became one. His family is good to me. I appreciate that but soemtimes I still miss my biological family. I cry on him and get mad about stuff when its really my hurt from the way my family treated me that I'm mad at. Your wife has a family - you and your son. Tell her that. You may find this odd but someemtimes it helps to hear things like that. It may seem like something obvious but but remind her. be there for her. And I hope she sees that her family is poisonous and you and the family you have together is the best cure in the world. And make her a nice cake or get some flowers (pick them from the yard if you can) and give her a big hug. Simple things mean so much. I bought her some flowers today. It's been too cold for any flowers. I think I'll suggest writing to her parents in a few months or so and tell them they can talk to her through letters only or something. Things have just been compounding, I think that's what it is. She obviously never got to have a childhood and be a teen. She chose to grow up fast. I'll have to keep those comments in mind. Thanks!
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