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 Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:54 pm
ninja i r returned, mans! xd The ..thing.. formerly known as Piankhi-chan, thankyaverymuch. <3
Hello, loves. I'm back. Why? I don't know, really. I missed having people to talk to who don't hate me because I'm fat and ugly. And life stinks, but hey! I had a nervous breakdown, and for some reason now I'm all smiley most of the time, despite a bunch of crap.
I'm going to tell you what's going on now, but I'll white-text it so you only have to read it if you want to. See? Gods above, Im so nice.
The bad, first: My dad's in jail. Why? Nothing bad, something completely retarded - I don't really want to go into it that much, but if you're curious, please - feel free to ask me. On a similar note: My mom has become extremely depressed and a bit anti-social, so I'm worried about her. She did the same thing my dad did to get in trouble, but she only has 7 days of work crew. How dumb is that? Anyways.
My car was impounded. My mom lost her job, so I'm now a 19 year old running a household on my income alone, and without any transportation or help from friends (I have none!) or other family members. Go me. Actually, I'm proud of myself - of the fact that I've been able to keep this family together.
Good, now: I'm now a certified nurses aid, and can get a job in a hospital (If I get registered) or in a nursing home. I don't want to get a job in either of those places - I got paid about $250 for taking the course - but it's nice to know the option is there, and now they can't fire me from my job for not being an NAC.
My cousin returned from college in California, and she's back for good (transferring to the community college here because the college in california screwed her over) which means that, come January, she's dragging me to college with her.
Back story on that: 6 months ago, she tried to get me to go to college, and I promised to go only if she'd go with me. Why? Honestly - college scares me. I don't have any friends, and most of my enemies go to this college. So she told me she'd go with me.. and then at the last minute, she abandoned me and went to Cali.. so I just never went to college, here. But here's my chance.
I'm taking control of my life, and I'm very proud of myself. In the past year, I've had my job - but my moms the one who's been doing the work, which results in all of my paycheck going into her pocket, save for $100 that goes to me. We did it that way because, living here, I don't need "spending" money... and she does. It's worked fine, but now I'm done with it. I told my mom the other day that she needs to get a job, and I need to start doing mine so I can move out when dad comes back. She told me she respected what I had to say, but she hasn't said anything else about it... so.. I don't know. I think I have to talk to her again.
And.. that's about it..!
Phew!
For discussion's sake: Have you ever abandoned something (a hobby or something like that) or ended a friendship, and then later regretted it? Did you go back to the hobby/friend/whatever? Why (not)?
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 11:57 pm
Hello.
I actually have regretted leaving someone: Tanya Cooper. When I was in fourth grade, Tanya had a major crush on me. So much that she would tackle me to the ground just to hold me. At the time I thought shw was horrible, since people teased me about having a girl love me. I constantly blew her off and ignored her. Then, one day, after I had everything straightened out, Tanya came to school with this wreath on her head, like a hat. Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) laughed at her- including me!
I never saw her again. I look back and wish I could just reset time, and do things differently. She was the onl person I have met to actually admit to loving me, or loved me at all. I beat myself up everyday for treating her like crap. Sure she was a little hyper and outgoing, but she was still exactly what I was looking for in a girl.
Oh, and you are not ugly. I am sorry things did not turn out for the best, but you can always tell us what is wrong. We will try our best to help you. wink
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:10 am
Shogun Gari Hello. I actually have regretted leaving someone: Tanya Cooper. When I was in fourth grade, Tanya had a major crush on me. So much that she would tackle me to the ground just to hold me. At the time I thought shw was horrible, since people teased me about having a girl love me. I constantly blew her off and ignored her. Then, one day, after I had everything straightened out, Tanya came to school with this wreath on her head, like a hat. Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) laughed at her- including me! I never saw her again. I look back and wish I could just reset time, and do things differently. She was the onl person I have met to actually admit to loving me, or loved me at all. I beat myself up everyday for treating her like crap. Sure she was a little hyper and outgoing, but she was still exactly what I was looking for in a girl. Oh, and you are not ugly. I am sorry things did not turn out for the best, but you can always tell us what is wrong. We will try our best to help you. wink
And hello! Nice to see you again, and I am too ugly. C'mon. It's been drilled into my head for 19 years, y'think I can just forget it overnight? Heh. Thank you, though. That's the one thing I did miss about this guild - everyone's there for each other.
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:15 am
cerebral ulcer Shogun Gari Hello. I actually have regretted leaving someone: Tanya Cooper. When I was in fourth grade, Tanya had a major crush on me. So much that she would tackle me to the ground just to hold me. At the time I thought shw was horrible, since people teased me about having a girl love me. I constantly blew her off and ignored her. Then, one day, after I had everything straightened out, Tanya came to school with this wreath on her head, like a hat. Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) laughed at her- including me! I never saw her again. I look back and wish I could just reset time, and do things differently. She was the onl person I have met to actually admit to loving me, or loved me at all. I beat myself up everyday for treating her like crap. Sure she was a little hyper and outgoing, but she was still exactly what I was looking for in a girl. Oh, and you are not ugly. I am sorry things did not turn out for the best, but you can always tell us what is wrong. We will try our best to help you. wink
And hello! Nice to see you again, and I am too ugly. C'mon. It's been drilled into my head for 19 years, y'think I can just forget it overnight? I forgot that I was a horrible, ugly, usless entitiy with no purpose but to take up space, I forgot that I am a souless basterd who ruins peoples' lives just by existing, I forgot all the horrid memories for my only friends trying to kill me because of something somone else said. It just takes time and patience, that is all. Try finding someone who cares deeply about you, and talk with them for awhile.
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:26 am
Shogun Gari I forgot that I was a horrible, ugly, usless entitiy with no purpose but to take up space, I forgot that I am a souless basterd who ruins peoples' lives just by existing, I forgot all the horrid memories for my only friends trying to kill me because of something somone else said. It just takes time and patience, that is all. Try finding someone who cares deeply about you, and talk with them for awhile.
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:34 am
cerebral ulcer Shogun Gari I forgot that I was a horrible, ugly, usless entitiy with no purpose but to take up space, I forgot that I am a souless basterd who ruins peoples' lives just by existing, I forgot all the horrid memories for my only friends trying to kill me because of something somone else said. It just takes time and patience, that is all. Try finding someone who cares deeply about you, and talk with them for awhile. What about us? We are more than happy to help you anyway we can. There are a lot f people with very serious dilemas, and the people of this guild try their best to help them out. I would love to continue this discusion, but I am now leaving for Arizona. I wish you the best of luck.
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:32 am
DAMN! eek
I'm really proud of and sorry for you at the same time.
If you don't mind my asking, what did your dad do?
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 4:08 am
Fuzzy Necromancer DAMN! eek I'm really proud of and sorry for you at the same time. If you don't mind my asking, what did your dad do?
And I was just inspired to do arts... is that sad and pathetic? Getting artsy on your own misfortunes? Ah, well. :: shrug ::
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:05 am
cerebral ulcer Fuzzy Necromancer DAMN! eek I'm really proud of and sorry for you at the same time. If you don't mind my asking, what did your dad do?
And I was just inspired to do arts... is that sad and pathetic? Getting artsy on your own misfortunes? Ah, well. :: shrug :: No...not at all. At least that lets you know that all of the creativity hasn't been beaten out of you by the real world...and based on your situation...that is a miracle. You have been through a lot and still maintained your sanity...and for that I salute you. *salutes* Good luck with the future. 3nodding And do me a fav...when you go to "the college of enemies" with your cousin...screw those jerks. You have been through a hell of a lot of things and gained maturity in ways some of them MAY learn before their 70s (and you are probably very beautiful to boot) so ignore them...if for no other reason than you have better things to do than to be worrying about assholes. biggrin OK? whee
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:19 pm
Jinnari cerebral ulcer Fuzzy Necromancer DAMN! eek I'm really proud of and sorry for you at the same time. If you don't mind my asking, what did your dad do?
And I was just inspired to do arts... is that sad and pathetic? Getting artsy on your own misfortunes? Ah, well. :: shrug :: No...not at all. At least that lets you know that all of the creativity hasn't been beaten out of you by the real world...and based on your situation...that is a miracle. You have been through a lot and still maintained your sanity...and for that I salute you. *salutes* Good luck with the future. 3nodding And do me a fav...when you go to "the college of enemies" with your cousin...screw those jerks. You have been through a hell of a lot of things and gained maturity in ways some of them MAY learn before their 70s (and you are probably very beautiful to boot) so ignore them...if for no other reason than you have better things to do than to be worrying about assholes. biggrin OK? whee
<3
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:58 pm
I'm glad to see that you are back 3nodding . I think everyone needsa break...sometimes we need to take a step back and clear our minds and get some rest from the www.
I am sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time right now...hopefully as time progresses, everything will sort it's way out. I really hope that you have someone to talk to about your feelings when you're not on Gaia, you need to vent and surround yourself with positive people irl as well.
We're all here for ya, don't forget that wink
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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:00 pm
Tessiebean I'm glad to see that you are back 3nodding . I think everyone needsa break...sometimes we need to take a step back and clear our minds and get some rest from the www. I am sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time right now...hopefully as time progresses, everything will sort it's way out. I really hope that you have someone to talk to about your feelings when you're not on Gaia, you need to vent and surround yourself with positive people irl as well. We're all here for ya, don't forget that wink
As for.. having someone to vent to..? Not really... my cousin just got back from California, but she's too self absorbed to listen. and when I say I have no friends, I honestly mean - I have no friends. I have -one- person that I know IRL, and I don't even know him that well.. I met him online! :O
But it's all good. I can deal, y'know? College will help (even if it is scary!) I'm sure. whee
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