Welcome to Gaia! ::

5 Smart Steps to Clear Communication

Communication affects how we get along with the people in our lives. Clear communication allows you to ask for what you want, explain what you need, and avoid arguements, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.

These 5 steps can help:

1) Focus your thoughts.
2) Listen carefully.
3) Be clear.
4) Get the facts.
5) Check your understanding.


Focus Your Thoughts
Clear communication begins with knowing what you want to say.

- Identify your goals. What results do you want? Do you want to make a plan? Sort out a conflict? Ask for help?

- Think about what you want to talk about. Take time before you start talking to figure out how to ask for what you need.

- Practice your message. Write it down. Try saying it out loud to yourself first. Think about how what you have to say will sound to the other person.

- Stick to the point. Plan to talk about one issue at a time. Don't bring up things that aren't related to your focus.


Listen Carefully
One key to clear communication is being a good listener.

- Look at the person who's talking. Nod your head. Repeat what the person says. Ask questions to show interest and check your understanding.

- Stay focused on the other person. Try not to get distracted by what you want to say or by things going on around you. Don't interrupt. Take turns talking.

- Show respect for the other person's feelings and ideas. Notice if what he or she says changes how you feel or think. Pay attention to how what you say affects the other person.

- Keep an open mind. Try to imagine the conversation from the other person's point of view.


Be Clear
Think carefully before you speak, so you can say what you really mean.

- Be specific and direct. Help the other person understand what you're trying to say. Give examples. If the person still doesn't understand, say it another way.

- Be honest. Say how you really feel.

- Pay attention to your feelings. Notice how your feelings influence what you're thinking and saying. Choose another time to talk if your feelings are making it hard to say what you mean.

- Avoid blaming. Instead of saying "You're always late!" talk about what you need and how you feel. Use I-statements. For example: "I feel frustrated when you're late. I want you to be on time."

- Make sure your body language matches your message. Notice the sound of your voice and what you are doing with your hands and face.

- Be willing to say you're sorry. If you say something you regret, or something that was wrong or hurtful, apologize.


Get the Facts
Make sure you have the information you need in order to understand what the other person means.

- Discuss expectations. Find out what the other person wants. Say what you want. Talk together about your next steps.

- Seek additional information. Ask the other person to tell you more about what he or she is thinking and feeling.

- Don't jump to conclusions. Don't make guesses about what the other person means. If you're not sure, ask.

- Recognize different styles of communicating. Remember that people express themselves in different ways. If you don't understand how the other person is acting, ask about it.


Check Your Understanding
Make sure you understand each other during the conversation and before you end it.

- Check out what you hear. Put what you hear into your own words. Say, "What I heart you saying is..."

- Repeat the main points. Summarize what each of you has said.

- Make an agreement. Decide what you will do as a result of your conversation. What, if anything, is going to change? What action will you take? Who is going to do what? By when?

- Decide if you need to talk again. Make sure both of you are satisfied. Agree to come back to the conversation later if necessary. Find someone else who can help you talk together.


Use the Steps
Clear communication can help you feel good about yourself and your interactions with others.

Remember:

- Take time to think things through.
- Listen carefully to the other person.
- Say what you really mean.
- Give yourself credit for being a great communicator!