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 Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:25 pm
come here to post your favorite Chuck Norris Jokes such as
-There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
-Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
-Chuck Norris CAN smell what the Rock is cooking
-Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
-If Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:29 pm
-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
-Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
-Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
-The most affective form of suicide is going to Google , and typing "Chuck Norris" and clicking "I'm feeling lucky".
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:36 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:52 pm
Some people pee their names in the snow, Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:38 pm
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly it affects the economy
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:36 pm
Heh, these are great. Lemme try:
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn't push up, he pushes the world down.
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:34 pm
God said "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said "Say please."
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Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 1:03 pm
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:30 am
Chuck can divide by 0...
Chuck can slam a revolving door
(My own) Chuck dosn't care that I spelt that wrong. :p
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:26 am
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:17 pm
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:29 pm
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim through land
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
If you want to see who Chuck Norris hates, check the endangered species list.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Anyone can piss on the floor, Chuck Norris can s**t on the cealing
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:43 pm
They say that Pandora's box was filled with the world's evil , but it was filled with Chuck Norris
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:28 pm
sandflea Jesus can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim through land Sorry if it's offensive, but... Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus. Anyway: Chuck Norris does not breathe, he holds air hostage. Chuck Norris vomits lava. Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:30 pm
Coke, "Coca Cola," is a warning message to society. It stands for Chuck Only Kills Everyone.
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