"Holy Water and Edible Charcoal"


Loraine lifted an eyebrow and the side of her mouth curled upwards as she gazed upon the weakened form sitting on her floor. "Yours. Uh-huh."
Zane snarled at her. "Shut up, human. I have twice your strength! I could snap you in half, and I have half a mind to-"
Loraine interrupted him. "Tell you what, pal, if you can stand for more than five seconds without leaning on something, you can try and do that."
"Don't mock me, human, when you know I can kill you easily!"
"Don't make idle threats, demon, when you can't even stand up straight." Zane roared with fury as he jumped up and charged at her. Loraine gave a squeak of surprise as she jumped out of the bed that he landed on. She avoided him again when he lunged at her, falling to the floor in a tangle of limbs. He was about to go at her again when she picked up a crucifix on her windowsill and threw it at him. He swore in the strange language she had heard the other two speak the night before. He put a hand up to his face where it had hit his cheek, and when he pulled away, there was a cross-shaped burn there.
She gasped. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You pathetic fool."
Loraine blinked. "What?"
Zane sat cross-legged on the floor and sat there regarding her for a moment. "You would apologize to someone who was trying to kill you? If I was at full strength, you would have been torn to ribbons and your remains emptied of blood before you would even have had a chance to react. The fact that you let me live shows how weak you are."
"I don't consider helping people to be weakness," Loraine frowned.
"Then you will die slowly," Zane tried to stand up, but he wobbled again, and he had to grab onto a bedpost to steady himself. Loraine watched him catch his breath, and then she began to smirk at him again. Zane saw. "Human, I will destroy you!"
"This human has a name, buster, and its Loraine."
Zane snorted. "You creatures are as your apostle described you. Mist. Here one moment and gone the next. Things such as you should not have names."
Loraine picked up the crucifix again, her eyes narrowing. "Look, I don't know why the heck you're here-"
"To kill you and devour your soul, idiot."
"I thought it might be something like that. Anyway, putting that aside, I have a whole house full of religious paraphernalia like this," she lifted the crucifix "and I don't think you'd have much of a chance in here anyway, considering all that stuff."
Zane leered at her. "You think that your weakling master god will stop me."
"Jesus did."
Zane cringed at the name and growled. Loraine smiled triumphantly. "Yes! It IS true!"
"What is, fool?"
"That demons can't stand to hear His name!"
"I am a DAEMON, I can HEAR His name, I just don't like it."
"Well, even if you can, I still have a clean Windex bottle filled with Holy Water I can spray at you."
Zane didn't react. Loraine realized that either the Holy Water wasn't a big deal to him, or he just didn't want her to know his weaknesses. Either way, he wasn't showing it. They stood there for a few moments, him glaring at her, she staring at him. Loraine took her eyes off of him for a moment when she saw a pile of clothes in the corner. She looked closely, and suddenly realized that they were the clothes she had worn last night during the attack. She looked down at herself, and suddenly realized that she was wearing nothing but her black underwear. She gave a shout, and then ran to her closet, still holding the crucifix.
"Who the hell took off my clothes?!"
"Ah, now you talk about it."
"Shut up and tell me!"
"I did, smart one, obviously."
Zane heard her rummage around in her closet for clothes. "Why?!"
"Firstly because you were unconscious and I wanted to see if you were bruised up-"
"Why?"
Zane glared at the closet door. "Because I like to cause all the injuries on my victims myself. Secondly, because I wanted to see if you actually had a nice body."
Loraine's furious voice came from the closet. "WHAT?"
Zane grinned to himself. "Yes, your breasts were a bit small for my taste. Demon women are usually very well endowed with that. Yours were only big enough to fill my hands."
Loraine flew from the closet, long purple pants, and a purple shirt with gold etching and designs all over it adding to her already purple face. Purple with fury, Zane guessed. Loraine grabbed him by the collars of his jacket and pulled him close. "YOU GROPED ME?!"
"Your buttocks were the same way. I was disappointed with the lack of curves I found on you."
"EEERRRRGGGHHHH!!"
"Although small women tend to be more fierce in bed. I wouldn't mind trying you out for a night."
The crucifix came crashing down on his skull.

......


Zane woke up to find himself still lying on the floor. He winced as he put a hand up to his head. There was a huge bump, and Zane promised himself that he would show that annoying creature the meaning of pain. He glanced around to see where she was, but she wasn't in the room. It did, however, seem to have been tidied up a bit. The bed was made, the clothes were in the hamper, his gun had a huge bible lying on top of it along with several rosaries...
Zane jumped up in a rage. "WOMAN!! WHAT IS THIS?!"
He heard her voice drift up from downstairs. "Hey, I can't risk you shooing me down in my own house!"
"Get this stuff off of my gun NOW!"
"Wait, lemme think about it... Ummm, no." Zane looked back at his gun. It was lying under the holy objects in such a way that no matter how he tried to get it out, he was going to get burned. It took a while for injuries from holy objects to heal as it was, and in his weakened state, it would take even longer. And injuries to his hands just would not do.
He ran down the stairs, into the kitchen, and was about to yell when he saw a large spray bottle with the words 'Holy Water' written on to it held up to his face. The bottle was being held by a smiling Loraine.
"Hungry?" she asked.

......


Zane sat there at a table while Loraine rushed around the kitchen like the idiot she was, getting ingredients, mixing things, and cooking things that to a human would have a pretty nice smell, but to a demon just smelled... wrong. "What in the name of Lucifer are you creating in there, human? It smells like a new soul still screaming from the ride down the River Styx."
Loraine looked at him curiously. "I didn't know souls had a scent."
"Well they do, and the food you're cooking smells like the bad ones."
"Thanks a lot." Loraine glanced at him while she was cracking eggs. His magnificent face looked scornful and bored as he stared at her house. His body looked relaxed, but she knew that it could tense up and react on the slightest thing, his muscles tightening and his eyes narrowing. She didn't really remember how she knew this, seeing as how she only saw him for a few seconds before she blacked out, but she did. She sighed. His voice was beautiful, but always so scornful. It made her a little sad, for some reason. She glanced over at him again, and saw that he had been looking at her. She turned her face away with a slight blush, and he smirked.
She looked at him again, and once more saw his eyes. They were beautiful eyes.
"Hey, Zane?"
"What?"
"Ummm... What do I smell like?"
Zane's face betrayed a little of his surprise at being asked that question. He didn't know why, but he decided to humor the creature for a moment. She would be dead soon anyway. He thought back briefly to the night before, when he had leaned close to her, had felt her soft skin, how she shivered a little at his touch, and it wasn't because he had frightened her. For some reason, it pleased him that he had that effect on her. He remembered how he had breathed in the scent of her sweet blood, the same sweetness floating around her.
"You smell of white roses in a sun beam."
Her face exploded in a huge smile that seemed to brighten up the whole room. It took him by surprise, but it wasn't a bad surprise. It was (for once) a good surprise.
Loraine's smile beamed out from her face, and she felt even happier when she saw the look on Zane's face , mirrored her own for a moment when her smile caught on and for just a second she saw him with a smile. He looked so amazing with a smile. Then her grin faded away when she sniffed for a moment.
"...Zane...?"
"What now?!"
"Do you smell something burning?"
"No, I smell something nice, like a soul cooked flambé to perfection. But look down anyway."
Loraine did, and she gave a yelp when she saw that her eggs were burning.
"Dammit!"
"Ooooh, Loraine has a dirty mouth."
The eggs caught on fire. Loraine swore some more.
"My, my, you sound as bad as some of those sailors we get."
"Shut up and get me some water, you good-for-nothing!"
"No, it smells good, and burning houses smell even better. All the happy memories going up in smoke gives off such a pleasant aroma."
"Ahhhhh! Water, water, water!" She ran to the sink and filled a glass up with liquid and threw it on the flaming food. She sighed as she saw the mess she had made. "Great..."
"I agree."
"Huh?" Loraine watched in shock as Zane got himself a plate, a fork, and then dumped all the charcoal contents onto his plate and took a bite.
He sighed contently. "Mmmm, nothing like a fresh cooked breakfast. I must say, human, that this stuff is burned to perfection, even if it was by accident."
"Uhhh... Thanks...?"