.Vodka and life are in a war.
And at the moment it seems like life is winning.
I'm tired of being yelled at just because my dad had a bad day at work.
I don't even do anything.
And he takes all of his anger out on me.
And my mum doesn't even do anything about it.
Sometimes its so bad I go to her crying.
And basically she tells me to just get over it.
Then my mum won't let me be myself.
I have to be this perfect person that she is proud to say is her child.
And apparently the real me isn't good enough.
And she doesn't like any of my friends.
So she tries to keep me from hanging out with them.
And she treats me like I'm 5.
I swear to God.
She gets up in the middle of the night and comes and checks on me to make sure I'm asleep?
Who's mum does that?
God.
And she acts like I can't make decisions on my own.
I'm 17.
Not 5.
It really pisses me off.
And my "friends" only like me when I'm happy.
If I go to them upset they just call me emo and don't even talk to me.
But if they have a problem it doesn't make them emo at all!
Because obviously all of their problems are so much more important than mine.
I hate my life so much it makes me want to throw up.
I'm not even kidding.
And then I feel bad because so many people out there have it so much worse than me.
Yet here I am complaining about my life.
I feel like s**t.
All the time.
I seriously cry myself to sleep some nights.
Maybe I'm just weak?
Maybe I should be a better person?
A person my parents are proud of.
A person who's friends actually care about their problems.
Maybe my problems aren't worth being cared about?
I don't know. >.<
I just don't know anymore...
And at the moment it seems like life is winning.
I'm tired of being yelled at just because my dad had a bad day at work.
I don't even do anything.
And he takes all of his anger out on me.
And my mum doesn't even do anything about it.
Sometimes its so bad I go to her crying.
And basically she tells me to just get over it.
Then my mum won't let me be myself.
I have to be this perfect person that she is proud to say is her child.
And apparently the real me isn't good enough.
And she doesn't like any of my friends.
So she tries to keep me from hanging out with them.
And she treats me like I'm 5.
I swear to God.
She gets up in the middle of the night and comes and checks on me to make sure I'm asleep?
Who's mum does that?
God.
And she acts like I can't make decisions on my own.
I'm 17.
Not 5.
It really pisses me off.
And my "friends" only like me when I'm happy.
If I go to them upset they just call me emo and don't even talk to me.
But if they have a problem it doesn't make them emo at all!
Because obviously all of their problems are so much more important than mine.
I hate my life so much it makes me want to throw up.
I'm not even kidding.
And then I feel bad because so many people out there have it so much worse than me.
Yet here I am complaining about my life.
I feel like s**t.
All the time.
I seriously cry myself to sleep some nights.
Maybe I'm just weak?
Maybe I should be a better person?
A person my parents are proud of.
A person who's friends actually care about their problems.
Maybe my problems aren't worth being cared about?
I don't know. >.<
I just don't know anymore...
