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Well today hadn't been the best of days for the Goblin King. He'd been dragged around some pretty seedy places, even seedier than his hair, and that was saying something. And he had thought his goblins were bad, but they were just puppets on a kid's movie in comparison.

They had met up with the widow FitzPatrick, the sole reason why topless beaches were now illegal in StJaque. But years of gutting fish and frying them would take their toll on a person's looks. Still she had taken a shine to him and had given him some free chips and a savaloy. Maybe it was his mustardy odour....

Caspian had been less than happy about the meeting and had suggested drowing their sorrows. The Goblin King was not adverse to opium dens per se, but opium dens run by Xun Xiao Ling, the acid queen were a big nono in his books. One of the lady's there had given him something interesting to smoke and now those damn neon dragons wouldn't stop singing to him and they were horribly out of tune.

At which point his logic was to drink until they got bored and flew away, and the Pirate King seemed to agree with this. Now they were both men of the world, and they had both had a lot of practice at drinking things, smoking things and experimenting with various magical substances including his own peaches. But this was pushing it a little, even for them. He hadn't been this drunk since he and Echo had...well you know. But is didn't matter because the out of tune piano sounded like the finest orchestra and the shanty they were singing was bloody fantastic and easy to remember the words. He was off his face!

Jareth hadn't even noticed his raletive falling until he felt a hand on his leg. There were so many things wrong with that that he know where to begin. he looked across the bar only to catch his reflection in a grubby mirror. Good lord his hair made him look like a palm tree, or at least a decorative fern. He really needed to go easy on the Dijon mireacle way next time.
He was pulled from his reverie when his current drinking buddy yanked him out of his seat with a force only found in a raging drunk. And the goblin king soon found himself sprawled out on the floor next to Caspian, wondering what it was that made ceiling fan's turn that way.

Jareth looked sideways, then decided no to because the....place...that they were in (crabby hands), what was the word? Room! Yes the room was spining anyway and any attempt to move was just nauseating. Still he had to agree with whoever was beside him, he was getting a mad case of the muchies right about now. Heck he'd even eat a maggot bhoona with a garlic naan bread. But there weren't any around.

"Ummm, I'vgot some peachesh in my jacket if y'like." he slurred, his mouth feeling like a long overdue dental appointment. "They're pretty strong though. Make a Schnappsh so potent y'll go blind and yer facial hair'll turn blue."

Jareth giggled, some woul say rather creepily, and took a bite from the half that the filly har rack had handed to him. Why was the hatrack frilly? Was it one of those fancy ones from those shops his ex-wife used to like so much? He'd eaten a lot of peaches when she was around he remembered. And he'd go off to...another place, that didn't stink of ale. Wait a minute? The peaches took you away somewhere, and he'd just eaten one. Already the room was becomming dark and everything begen dancing in the strangest of ways. Before he passed out the goblin king though "Well who's bloody idea was this then?"

Jareth seemed to have gone back in time to a tackier era. He wasn't too impressed with the decor but the music was wizard ace amazing so it was all ok in the long run. He hadn't remembered buying the dress he was wearing either. Not that he went shopping for women's clothing often mind you, but this one was very unusual indeed, it had pictures portraying the trojan wars all over it. But it showed off his figure quite nicely, and did wonders for his bust.
It was a lovely party except maybe for that weirdo hiding behind things. But even he was looking all right with all the light playing of the bubbles with balls and other tinier bubbles inside. Thinking about them made him go cross-eyed.
Oooh was that a sexy wine rack?..

The Goblin King felt like he was paralysed from the folicles down. His everything hurt, quite literally. As logic began to painfully return he realised the last time he had found himself in a state like this there was a pregnant Asrai next to him. He had the sinking feeling that he was going to find himself in a similar situation, since after cracking an owlish eye open he discovered that someone had handcuffed him to a bedpost and he was wearing some sort of merrangue in a room full of pink velour and heart motifs. He then realised that the merrangue in question was in fact some tacky rentable wedding dress and he was being laughed at by Caspian of all people.
Jareth closed his eyes again, hoping vainly that it would all go away muttering the words "oh bugger"

Jareth groaned.
"Loud noises!" he mumbled as drunken memories came leaking back into his brain. "And yes, we did. You proposed right after that hayride we went on when we sneaked into that barn and painted all those sheep psychedelic colours." he couldn't help smiling at that thought, even if he was horribly hung over and was now technically the Pirate king's wench. "Then we went on a mad rush around town to find all the wedding gear and got the ceremony done cheap by that weird cat man thing with all the salt." He was laughing now, it was actually quite hilarious, in a sad way. "Then I believe you tried to carry me back to the bridal suite, got tired half way so I carried you... at which point you handcuffed me to the bed claiming something about hippos and ostriches and then you passed out." Well at least they hadn't commited incest, that was a relief, though the goblin king.