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 Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:01 pm
Marine swam up and toward an outcropping of rock and she stared long at the lonesome pearl glowing in the sky. She bathed in its light and began to lose herself in her thoughts. Nearby, a family of whales came up and took in some good pure oxygen. She could hear there song faintly under the water and its soothing melody brought to her thoughts of Aman. She had been thinking of this frequently and she wondered if this was what they called love. She lifted herself up and reclined, enjoying the whales and the song. With a smile she started to sing with it. Her plaintive tune traveled on the seabreeze and mixed with the mournful cry of the magnificent creatures swimming below. This gave her some time to think and find out just what was the right thing to do. Being with someone was a huge decision and she felt she could not be too careful when it came to a lifemate. She could not afford to make a mistake as this would be forever and forever to her was the whole of her existence. And as of yet she had no idea how he even felt about her. However, he had asked to see her as what? a friend? a mate? a concubine? She was not the sort who would ever tryst with anyone, not when it came to her self respect. The memory of when they touched sprang up in her mind and she blushed remembering just how alive that had made her feel. Maybe the future would hold more embraces like that, more comfort. She hoped some clarity would come to her soon, this uncertainty seemed to last for way too long.
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:30 pm
 The massive crop of young that were his tankmates' were starting to grow, to mature into adults. It had been bittersweet to share in their upbringing. More painful than the Christian had imagined to watch Gaebor -ever the big kid- play with his frys. Even more difficult... observing the promiscuous Himgul be the doting father to his obviously cared for daughter in between times she was left with Elanorriel & himself while her father went cavorting.
Aman ached... and thought of beautiful sun-gold hair and the fleeting but ingrained memory of softness and warmth when Marine had been so briefly in his arms...
He thought of it and forcefully shook such thoughts away with an infinite sadness, uncertain even of how to pray about this. Aman did not even know when he would see her again, or where. Before they parted last they met he had from her that they could see each other again, perhaps even regularly. But... he had no way to contact Marine who haunted his thoughts and heart like a treasured whisper. A sound, a memory, that one could not touch and yet by its presence was both warmed and saddened with the taunting of hope fluttering like a bird trapped in a cage too small for it.
At last he did find the words to pray on it, putting pale words to explain to his Lord God of the feelings in his heart. Aman prayed... and felt calmed.
So he swam away from the link to his tank today. Away from the frys that played and grew there, trusting the elf to be able to care for the little white & gold koi beta fry -the tank's newest- on her own. He swam with one hope in his heart: to come across her. Aman could not say outright yet what his feelings for the lovely warm-hued female were. He did not look far into them himself for fear he would raise his hopes too far. other than that she wanted to see him again, Aman knew nothing of how Marine felt for him. He hoped and perhaps even suspected... but it was still only hopes.
He wanted to court her. Wanted it so badly it was difficult to keep the thought from his head. Aman had no idea how he was to do this thing, but he intended to do everything he could to see that it was so. To court her... and somehow... somehow feel her lovely form in his arms once again.
Through his thoughts Aman could hear the almost mournful song of whales and wondered that they could be both joyful and sad at the same time. Was that really any different than his own heart?
No time to ponder it. Aman felt a whisper... a gentle but persistent insistence to surface. He obeyed, A flick of his stained glass nativity printed tail and he was soon breaking the surface, long hair flinging up and out nd around him. Surfaced... Aman could hear Marine's voice and turned to her with a friendly smile that hinted at the surging of joy he felt upon hearing her. Upon seeing her. That she was singing... an added bonus.
His mouth felt dry, his words failed him in that moment. "Marine." Her name the only sound he could muster at the moment, laced with undisclosed feelings.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:24 am
The wind was a mischievous element, it could bring out the wanderlust in a being, it could carrying the song of the whales and Marines little tune. But a breeze shifted abruptly and carried Aman's voice to the south. Marine had no idea that the object of her affection was so nearby as she sang. Her words spoke of the unrequited and of beauty. After a while she drew her song to a close and watches the whales now in the distance, heading towards the south.
Can I be dreaming once again?
I'm reaching helpless I descend
You lead me deeper through this maze
I'm not afraid I'm lost in you
She sighed and arched her graceful neck towards the moon and whispered a silent prayer straight from her heart. Though she was not on the same spiritual level as Aman, she did believe in a higher power. She felt her prayer strengthened by the unspoken wish she most wanted, underneath this clear evening, she found she was uncomfortable in being alone. Even the stars seemed faded compared to the gorgeous light of the moon. So too it seemed when compared with the fire inside her. Though the pure flame was small, it could still burn.
everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you! Lost in you
". . . . . .Aman"
She spoke after her silent prayer as more of a sigh than a statement as she lost herself in the thoughts that have been plaguing her for a while. She tried to tell herself to be patient, to continue to look after the young in the tank and trust in her destiny. Whatever will be would be and she had no control over that. It would be nothing but arrogance to believe otherwise. It was not for her to control the events, it was only for her to guide but why did guiding no longer seem enough?
I could never be the same
Something that I could never arise
I could never look away
I lost myself in you
It's all over now
What this a secret greed inside her as well or was it something else? she felt so confused however she had plenty of time to think and try to answer her own questions as best as she could. Most of her life she had so many questions and noone could answer them for her so as she was left to her own devices , she had no choice but to answer them herself.
"I just wish I could see his face again and not just in my head."
Said to the dolphin that had poked its cute head out to look at her. The silver creature kept her company for a while and spoke to her in squeaks and whistles. She smiled at it and she was grateful that it was distracting her from her secret sadness, at least for a while anyway.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:52 pm
She.. did not see him. Or hear him. But instead of sorrow for that, Aman felt an odd mixture of guilt and joy as he silently watched her and listened to her song. He felt he was being privy to something he had no right to overhear or observe... and yet he could not bear to bring himself to turn away. Her thoughts he could not know, but the Christian felt a jolt as the sound of his own name carried on the winds south -straight to him. Why would she say his name... like that? Some whisper told him to move towards her and yet he could not move yet, rooted metaphorically in place. She looked so... so...
Aman wanted to go to her, in some vain hope he could make her smile.
Brown hair blew around him as his head shook incredulously. He had to have heard her wrong. Maybe he had. But the whispering was getting insistent. He had to Obey, that was certain. Slowly, deliberately, Aman swam towards the female. He was neither silent or loud as he sliced through the waters. She should be able to hear him coming and hopefully not be alarmed.
"Good Evening, Marine. I... hope I'm not interrupting..." This close to the brilliance of her presence Aman could not help but smile warmly. She was so full of kindness and life... so lovely...
He felt as Jacob must have, when he agreed to serve seven years to marry Rachel. For gladly would he make such an offer if he thought at all Marine would have any of it from him. For now, her company was enough -and far more than Aman felt he deserved.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:03 pm
Marine heard Amans voice and turned to him with a smile tinged with humility. How long was he there? what did he hear? She did her best to squelch anything that could be given away so easily in her eyes. She greeted him friendly enough but yet not overtly friendly. Despite her caution she felt an almost physical pull towards him. As if some invisible rope was tied to the two and connected them. Thats what it felt like, a connection.
"Aman. . . . . It does me good to see you."
She spoke in her usual irish lilt and lifted herself off of the rocks and back into the water. It had been getting a bit to dry for her and the water felt good back on her skin. She patted the dolphin and returned her attention back towards the deeply spiritual male.
"You could never be an interruption"
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:26 pm
Some invisible rope. Aman would be amused at her comparison if he knew it, swimming slowly towards her & responding to its pull. Her voice to him was like angels singing and he found himself refraining from reaching for her hand. Almost too late, having to draw his hand back to himself.
Still his heart swelled with the way she worded her greeting. oh if only...! It was such a wonderful way to say it...
Aman did not hide his relief to be told he was not interrupting. "Ah. I am glad. For it likewise does me good to see you." Hopefully she would not mind how he turned her words around, but dwelling on them Aman could think of nothing better he could say that was as true. "I pray you are well this eventing?"
If she asked he would tell her how long he was there, to the best of his abilities. However he would not embarrass her with the knowledge in case it made her uncomfortable.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:18 pm
Marine noticed the simple gesture and almost like a reflex started to reach toward it as well however she pulled her hand back as soon as he did. Things were started to get a little awkward as the tension between them grew. She decided to act as if nothing had happened. And as she willed the butterflies in her stomach to still, and smiled at him and spoke.
"This evening found me well, I hope you as well have been enjoying the evening. The moon is lovely tonight. It has been a long time since I have seen it glow as it is. How has your tank been? I hope things are smoother since last we spoke."
She wanted nothing more than to lose track of time as before and bask in his light as well as the moons. Taking up a few shells from the rocks she played with them idly in her hands. One of them was an unusually colored oyster shell and she could not help but reach for it. Her finger explored its bluish purple ridges and stopped at a piece of sea aneome(splg?) that had grown onto its rough shell.
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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:28 am
"Not as lovely as you..." The thought was murmured barely above whisper before Aman even realized he had taken breath. Afraid upon hearing his own words he followed Marine's gaze to the shells in her hands and attempted to focus upon the question she had poised him. "It is better. The frys are all very nearly grown, at least those I see regularly. Those that only visit are back to their homes, leaving only the newest and youngest fry in our care. A female with no known parents."
Yes... it was easier caring for a stranger's young rather than seeing those of his tankmates'. A sad realization even as he felt relief not having to see constantly the joy he felt he could never be part of or experience for himself. "And yourself? Your tank?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:06 pm
Marine heard him mumble something, did he just say. . . she shook her head and thought she heard him wrong. But for just a moment her breath nearly caught in her chest with excitement. She lifted her head to look at him questionably. "I'm sorry, what?" and then as he continued talking she assumed he had said something about his tank she had not heard the first time. She listened to him speak and felt she could listen to that voice for hours. On him asking her a question she smiled wistfully and replied as best she could. What once made her happy no longer seemed quite as fulfilling.
"My tank has had many children lately so there is much to do and keep busy with. I get to teach a new generation all about the joys of living and what to do in order to stay safe and be morally strong. I just wish. . . . ." Here she smiled self consciously and returned her attention to the oyster shell. "Forgive me, I shouldn't trouble you needlessly."
Just then the oyster shell broke from her constant attentions and pieces of it fell into the water. She tried to catch the pieces however it was too late. Her lips curved down momentarily and she hoped this was not a bad omen. She had not intended to break the shell however as her hands were usually used to shape it bothered her somewhat that this time they had broken something. The salt water stung but she knew as all things, it would pass.
She held her hand back in a gesture of apprehension and to hide the cut from the oyster as subtly as possible. With her other hand she placed the remains back on the rock and smiled as if nothing had happened. She did not want to ruin this time she had, every minute counted and you only had so much during a lifetime. She wanted to use that time wisely and not pay attention to a trivial wound.
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:37 pm
Guilt touched him that he did not answer her, but Aman could not for fear repeat himself. Soon however he was lost, listening to her voice... and falling for her completely at the words she said. He felt his chest pounding. "Wish what?"
His hand ignored his head, reaching for Marine's once more even as he shook his head. "I cannot, for there is nothing to forgive." He too failed to catch the falling pieces, but it did not seem to bother him. His silver eyes were upon her. "Please. Trouble me."
One hand hovered near hers, the other making a soft jerk as if wanting to reach for her other hand yet not quite having the gumption. He did not yet see her held back hand as anything other than the apprehension she displayed.
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:50 pm
With a gasp, Marine could not find it in herself to speak. Her voice had completely failed her at the soft feel of his hand taking hers At that moment she was lost as well as found at the very same time. Her mouth felt dry, so very dry and she could not tear her gaze away. Unable to stave the fire in her cerulean eyes, unsure if she even wanted to at this point.
It was almost as if they were outside of time at this first touch and a delicious tremor ran the length of her body. She reached for his other hand as if in a dream, completely forgetting about the blood dripping down her hand. All that mattered right now was that something just clicked into place just like the falling pieces of the shell and she never wanted those pieces to ever fall out.
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:11 am
Lightly, instinctively, Aman caressed the skin of her hand with his thumb. His heart was pounding with the look in her eyes, not daring to hope. Then he was taking her other hand in his, for the moment not registering the blood as that and rationalizing (if at all) it was water from earlier. "Marine..."
He could not get himself to take his eyes from hers. He did not want to. Aman swam a bit closer, pulling her hands together then lightly drawing them to his chest.
Then he noticed the blood as the scent wafted up to him. Dear God! Worried he looked down at her bleeding hand in his. A choked sound rose in his throat. "Marine, forgive me!"
What he did next was automatic, so like clockwork Aman did not need to think about what he was doing. Which was good because his thoughts and prayers were on the female. He knew it was just a scratch... but his heart reacted to the thought of Marine hurt with an intensity of it's own. Cleansed with saltwater, kissed then bound with clean seaweed. Then once more he held her hands in his, arms bent between them. Only now he was a little closer and he was planting a warm and feeling kiss over both her knuckles at once. Silver eyes lifted back to her face bearing a myriad of emotions. "Forgive me..."
His voice still choked with emotion. "God knows I am unworthy... but please -trouble me. Tell me... what it is you wish?" Silver eyes did not leave her face.
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 11:43 pm
Aman's breath caught on his hope at her words, at the look in her eyes. Those beautiful eyes where he longed to become lost within. It felt like slow motion as he moved. "This?" He repeated shakily, eyes & voice of incredulous hope. Her hands he brought to his chest over the rapid beating of his heart. Then holding both of hers gently to him with one of his Aman reached out with the other to tenderly hold Marine's cheek with his hand while brushing her errant tear away with his thumb.
"Time I cannot stop, though I wish I could. Especially for you. However, God willing... please don't do what you wish not to."
Silver eyes flickered hopefully, permitting his love to shine there. "Please stay."
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:38 pm
Marine smiled through her fear and felt greatly comforted by his words. She sank into his embrace and stayed there for a very long time. His muscled torso made the perfect pillow to rest her head on and she just breathed him in. The way she was surrounded by his warmth and his soft hair caressing her shoulders made her forget all about her tank mates. To be honest she knew they could take care of themselves, this time was hers and it was something she had fervently wanted for weeks on end. The way he smelled also added to this small reverie of absolute joy as his strong arms enfolded her. The last of the whales and their soulful cries traveled the deep purple horizon and the dolphin soon gave the new couple some privacy and solitude under the glass moon in the twinkling evening sky.
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