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So... here is a rant and hopefully I can get some advice on the problem. I like my fiance's mother. She is a nice woman, usually we get along great. But.

She is driving my crazy, I am past the point of screaming (alone in my room) and crying (also alone in my room). My fiance has called and talked to her a couple times now about our wedding. But every time she gives some reason/excuse as to why we can't do our wedding the way we want to. And, my fiance doesn't seem to be able to stand up to his mother. I'm beginning to not only be angry with his mom, but also with him. He is an adult, he should be able to lay out what we want to his mom. Not come running back to me after every time he talks to her saying we have to change our plans. Today I told him I'm not changing anything for her anymore. She has had her wedding, her daughter is getting married soon and she can pressure around her daughter all she wants. I'm a stubborn b***h. I am not going to regret my wedding my entire life because it is something I don't want and that I won't enjoy. So, it is to the point where my fiance wants me to talk to his mother. I want to, because I know her guilt trips and passive/aggressive arguments aren't going to affect me. But I don't want to for fear of causing problems in the relationship between us, her and her son, and her son and me. So, should I talk to her? If so how should I handle the conversation? Any other advice?

Thanks for reading my rant.

Happy to read your rant...
If your fiancee can't handle his mother over your wedding plans this is a bad thing. You need to sit down and talk to him about where the boundary is between agreeing with his mother and agreeing with you and ask him if he isn't going to back you up now what is he going to do when you guys have kids? I have a great set of inlaws myself not perfect but pretty good because my mother in law had a b***h for a mother in law.. My grandmother in law is still a backstabbing and malicious person even when they have been married for years. My husband doesn't even like her and it is his grandmother for crying out loud.. I think this is a very important time to establish boundaries with your mother in law or life down the road will only get harder... If your soon to be husband can't go against his mother you had better make sure you move far far far away from your in laws....

Thanks everyone. I really didn't think that while planning the wedding we would run into so many... problems. We asked his mother what the problem is, her response is that we are going to offend someone. We really don't know how, nor can she explain how to us.

The problem with the wedding is that it is going to be small. As in me, him, our parents and our brides maids and grooms men. Then we are going to have a larger reception- multiple actually because of friends and family travel times. Apparently this will be offending.

I think my fiance and I will be traveling to see his parents in a few weeks- they are in a different state then we are. So I'll talk with his mother then.

Also, the sidenote is a very good one and makes a lot of sense.

I booked a new spot to hold the wedding at today. It was the place I originally wanted to have it at. I don't think his family is completely pleased with it but they aren't loudly protesting, which is nice. So yay!

Part of me still just wants to run off an elope before the wedding though... xp