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 Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:54 pm
Okay, i dont know if anyone know this yet, but Im 6'0 and i currently weigh 122 Pounds. I just recently checked, so im sure this is it, and i m gonna put a pic of me on here later.
The point of this though just I want everyone to know that you should love yourselfes no matter what. This is a true story and i want to share it with you all.
Just last year, I was around 128 pounds and i was 5'8 I think? I dont know, something like htat. Anyway, One day I was sitting down just drinking a coke and watching t.v. and I put my hand on my stomach and i thought i felt alot more fat then usual. It just kind of hit me for some reason, i cant exactly explain how i felt.
So the next day, I was walking around and i felt very sub-contious about what i looked like. I felt fat and ugly and i just wanted to run into a bathroom a nd hide all day. Then, I looked at myself in the guys gym room mirror and i swear to god, i thought i looked fat. So, i had a girlfriend at the time and i talked to her about it and she said "Well, you could be skinnier i guess..." And that just broke through to me.
From that moment on, i almost stopped eating completely and i exercised every second i could. I dont know what came over me, i was scared and i didnt want to feel the way i did anymore. I starved myself for 2 days straight and I ate only breakfast and dinner on the third day and i exercised, like i said, alot. Then, i guess it seemed like my body jsut got used to me not eating as much after a while, and i rarely ate period, and my body was just wasting away. I stepped on a scale and it read 114 pounds, and for my height that was unhealthy, but i still felt fat, so i exercised even more and ate even less. Then, i stepped back on the scale and it read 120 pounds, and i talked to a friend of mine about it and they said it was muscle, but i thought that it was fat because i felt like i was eating alot and i was so angry and sad i starved myself completely for 3 whole days and i only drank an assortment of energy drink and water.
After 2 months of this, I felt like crap. I was tired 24 hours a day and i was deppressed alot. Then i thought if i exercised even more i might feel better, but this would be the last time. My body literally collapsed on me while i was runing and my nose started to bleed and i couldnt move. Lucky for me, my sister came by on her bike to get me and she got my parents and they took me to the hospital. The final weigh in was 112 pounds and I iwas 5'8.
I wentt htrough a little bit of therapy and then started to eat nutricious foods and exercised, but not nonstop exercising.
Im 6'0 and 122 pounds and i feel good despite me being still a stick pretty much.
Love your bodies, no matter what you like, everyone is beautiful and never doubt yourself. 4laugh
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:53 pm
Honestly, i'm 5'5" and 170 pounds...i dont love myself at all and wish so much that i was smaller, because my boyfriend liked small girls, he watched regular small girl porn...
And though i know he loves me, i feel he finds me disgusting, my breasts, my a**, its all...big..and terribly unattractive. I run a mile a day, and ive went to a strict vegan diet, im just not losing weight..and i joined this guild for some type of support, but so far, nothing has really helped.
But thanks for YOUR story, i know its hard to put yourself out like that, my post, this post, is the first time ive put myself out there.
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:29 pm
Thanks so much for commenting, its very sweet and brave of you lol 4laugh
Trust me, you are going to find plenty of support from this guild, im sure your an absolutley stuning girl, and im possitive that your boyfriend knows he is very lucky to have you, dont worry about him and porn, if he really loves you he will quit, just give him some time, ya'no? Maybe try talking to him about it, im sure he will understand.
And hey, sometimes it takes a long time for your body to get used to dieting, but remember that muscle weighs more than fat, so im sure your getting there and by the way it sounds, as long as this is what you yourself want its going to work!
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:10 pm
PiercedPixie56 Honestly, i'm 5'5" and 170 pounds...i dont love myself at all and wish so much that i was smaller, because my boyfriend liked small girls, he watched regular small girl porn... And though i know he loves me, i feel he finds me disgusting, my breasts, my a**, its all...big..and terribly unattractive. I run a mile a day, and ive went to a strict vegan diet, im just not losing weight..and i joined this guild for some type of support, but so far, nothing has really helped. But thanks for YOUR story, i know its hard to put yourself out like that, my post, this post, is the first time ive put myself out there.
Does he do something that makes you feel he finds you disgusting? I mean, does he actually make comments about smaller girls without your asking? Does he make comments about your weight or about how attractive other, smaller girls might be? Or is it all in your head? Big is not equal to terribly unattractive, just as skinny isn't equal to terribly attractive. Most guys like girls in-between... with a bit of curves, honestly. Boobs and a** being big isn't a bad thing, at all.
How long have you been exercising and dieting? Do you eat at least three regular meals a day? Did you know that walking burns more fat than running (I believe running burns carbs or something), and is easier on your joints? Instead of running that mile, why not walk it?
I've been walking when I can, maybe a brief jog if I feel up to it... generally I try to switch it up. In a few months I've lost 12ish lbs, but I'm going for slow weight-loss to avoid stretch marks and loose skin. I try to eat smaller portions, but I also tend to bring food to snack on while at work or out so that my metabolism stays up most of the day... it really does help. Be sure to always eat breakfast, as that jump-starts your metabolism, don't skip it in order to save calories, 'cause you're doing more harm than good. And while I haven't actively tried this more than a couple of days randomly... did you know that your metabolism stays up five hours after you excercise? Say you go for a 30 minute walk a day: if you cut that walk into half, and instead took a 15 minute walk in the morning, then a 15 minute walk at night, then you're going to keep your metabolism up throughout the day so you burn more than you would with that one 30 minute walk whose effects only last for five hours.
Also, I don't know if you've given up soda... but that's a great way to lose up to 20lbs, depending on how much you drink. I've put a lot more water into my diet, but only cut out soda for a couple days as I wasn't too worried about it.
sweatdrop That was longer than I intended, I'm sorry.
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:58 pm
Oh crap! I need to start eating breakfast again! 
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:17 pm
I battle with an anxiety disorder and bipolar depression.
I used to have terrible self esteem, especially about 4 years ago.
I was cutting and I stopped eating.
I would only eat if my mother said anything about the fact that I wasn't.
I was a generally unhappy person about my weight and my appearance and life.
Then I joined this guild and I started getting compliments on pictures and I got a lot more confident.
Now I love myself, and I don't think anyone could ever tell now how bad I felt about myself then.
:3
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:32 pm
Jesus is so pretty, she better feel good about herself *shakefist*
I've had panic attacks since starting freshman year of college, now I've learned to work through them... but my mom refuses to admit them so I've never been tested and told I have a disorder, although it's very likely I do have it, even if it's only slight. Luckily, I'm more tough mentally than most people.
I had horrible self-esteem about four to five years ago as well, but I found other places and made FA friends from Deviantart and elsewhere... and some local friends who taught me to love myself when I finally realized how stupid I was being. Now I'm addicted to makeup and told how girly I am, when I used to think I acted like a lesbian (the butch, mannish kind). I've since had more boyfriends than I've wanted, and more admirers than I ever thought possible.... my friends have seriously made fun of me for my "harem".
I just wish I could go back and know what I know now, although at the same time I still miss my youth
Now my ego is over-inflated most of the time and everybody probably secretly hates me, either out of jealousy or annoyance... haha, I know I would.
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 10:40 pm
@ Rayketsue
Gahh, you're so incredibly nice and positive sweatdrop I wish i could be more like that, i should be more like that, but sometimes, all this pressure im under gets to me, and i have terrible lows..Like the other night when i posted a reply XD
My boyfriend and I didn't talk because of time zone differences, and i just really needed to talk to someone >_> But replying to your thread helped too ^.^ So thanks for making it or i may have ripped my hair out
@ The Dread Pirate Ghosty and Jesus_vs_Godzilla
Awww, you're both so incredibly beautiful heart
And Ghosty you and the male in your signature ((significant other maybe?)) look magnificent together!
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:31 pm
Thats so sweet of you, you made my day with that post lol. 4laugh
Pressure can get the best of us alot, and dont worry about being possitive because we all need to express ourselves in different ways to feel better. I know its hard to get to a loved one over a long distance relationship and its one of the most important things to tell your lover when you need some serious time to talk, but dont forget about your friends, we are all here for you and we can talk when you need to talk. pirate
Im very glad to know that htis thread helped you from pulling your hair out, nobody want to be bald. eek
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