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 Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:47 pm
I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. I have a couple of questions that I'm posting at the end, and I also wanted to share my story because I know there are a lot of idealistic virgins out there. Your first time won't be like in a romance novel. It'll probably be more like my situation. There are reasons for all my aside comments in this, and you'll see why at the end.
This weekend, I went to see my boyfriend. I stayed at his place for a couple of days and just came back this afternoon. We had discussed having sex before I came. I've been on the Pill for several years, and I was switched to a lower dose about two weeks ago. It's been a week since I began taking the lower dose, so my body's probably adjusted to the lower dose. Everything I read said wait at least one or two weeks to adjust. Anyway, I wasn't worried about any potential penetration because he bought some condoms.
We had been fooling around for awhile Sunday night. I didn't feel aroused enough for any penetration, so we just kept doing stuff until I felt ready. He put on a condom, and then I laid on my back. I know at least some of him was inside me since I felt him move when he was on top of me. However, I didn't feel anything. It turns out he went limp then. I couldn't even feel him pull out. He threw out the condom and tried getting it back up, but it was no use. We decided to try again this morning, since we usually feel like doing stuff when we get up.
When we got up this morning, he asked me if I wanted to try again. I said yes. Only problem was, this time it was me who couldn't get significantly aroused enough, so again, it was a bust.
Now here's where I have a question. There was a tiny bit of precome. He doesn't produce much. I kept going down on him to try and help him along, so this may be a factor. When he felt himself starting to go limp, he rubbed himself to try and get hard again. He had his thumb and forefinger on the sides of his p***s, and stroked up and down from the base to the area just before the head. He never touched the head. A minute later, we were making out and he tried to finger me with that hand. He didn't get in very far because I wasn't very aroused. Also, his hand was dry by then. Neither of us realized he had used the same hand for a couple of minutes. I don't remember him touching anything before he touched my v****a, but it's possible he could have touched something else, like my leg.
My question is, what are my chances of getting pregnant from him touching his p***s and then trying to finger me? He didn't produce very much precome, so I don't think there was very much sperm in it. Also, he has had this type of sexual dysfunction before due to medication, so I wonder if his sperm are very strong swimmers. Also, my going down on him may have had some sort of effect.
Another question: how long do sperm live outside the body? I have read information on this topic before, but I'm not sure where to look for it now. Sorry, I know this sounds stupid. I know it's not very long, and I know sperm aren't very strong outside the body. I just don't remember. I can get Plan B if I need to, since it hasn't even been 12 hours yet, but I don't want to if there's not much of a chance. After all, I am on the Pill.
Anyway, my reasons for posting this are to share that not everything happens like it does in books and movies, and that you should always watch where you're pointing various things. I normally don't let his naked p***s near my naked v****a due to paranoia, so I have no idea why I got aroused enough to forget about his hand.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:19 pm
"He didn't produce very much precome, so I don't think there was very much sperm in it."
It only takes one sperm to cause a pregnancy, and sperm are very tiny. Even if it seems like a man doesn't produce a lot of fluid, that doesn't mean you can't get pregnant from it.
"Also, he has had this type of sexual dysfunction before due to medication, so I wonder if his sperm are very strong swimmers."
If his sexual dysfunction has to do with getting or maintaining an erection, that does not mean his sperm are weak.
"Also, my going down on him may have had some sort of effect."
Oral sex does not decrease the number of sperm or the sperm's mobility.
"how long do sperm live outside the body?"
It depends on the environment. Sperm need to stay fairly warm and wet to stay alive. Once the semen dries out, the sperm dies. So how long it takes the semen to dry depends on the temperature of the room, what sort of surface the semen landed on, etc. On sheets, semen can last a couple of hours.
"what are my chances of getting pregnant from him touching his p***s and then trying to finger me?"
We can't tell you your exact chances of getting pregnant because pregnancy depends on many factors. All we can say is that it is possible.
No method of birth control is 100% effective, but even so, the pill is pretty darn close if you're taking it every day and at the same time every day. Keep in mind that birth control is meant to protect you. That's the whole point of taking it, so you really shouldn't be worrying that much about pregnancy if you're taking the pill as intended. After all, the pill is about 98% effective when the man ejaculates directly into the woman with no other methods of protection.
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:52 pm
Geez, Lorien, you show up every time I ask some sort of question. xd I appreciate it, though.
Sorry for the TL;DR stuff. I had a whole lot going through my mind when I wrote that and was hoping for some additional input along with what I have been looking up. Judging by your response and what I've been reading, my chances of pregnancy are pretty low. I take the Pill at 9:30 every night, or at least a few minutes around there.
I guess my situation just goes to show that no matter how well-informed you think you are about sex, something can go and trip you up. Before my trip, I read the topics in this guild and other health related sites to try and keep myself informed about various aspects of sex, but then this happens. This is one reason I labeled this as a cautionary tale. Hopefully someone can learn from my experience.
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:10 am
I'd say your chances of getting pregnant are pretty miniscule... but it does only take one.
My last run in was six months ago and made me so scared... I missed a pill one day and had sex with my boyfriend three times without realising. Went to take the next pill... that was an ohshit moment. Fortunately nothing came of it.
I take my pill with lunch. : D
Anyway, good luck with trying to have sex... I hope it goes well for you!
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:37 am
myrthrilmercury I guess my situation just goes to show that no matter how well-informed you think you are about sex, something can go and trip you up. Before my trip, I read the topics in this guild and other health related sites to try and keep myself informed about various aspects of sex, but then this happens. This is one reason I labeled this as a cautionary tale. Hopefully someone can learn from my experience. I think people can also learn something else from your story. They can learn that everything is better if you're comfortable with your partner. Even though the sex wasn't like it is in the movies, if you weren't comfortable with your partner, everything would have been worse. At least if you can talk to your partner, you won't feel nervous or embarrassed about this kind of stuff. I see far too many people in here who aren't even comfortable talking to their partner about sex, yet they think they're ready to have it with them.
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:46 am
LorienLlewellyn myrthrilmercury I guess my situation just goes to show that no matter how well-informed you think you are about sex, something can go and trip you up. Before my trip, I read the topics in this guild and other health related sites to try and keep myself informed about various aspects of sex, but then this happens. This is one reason I labeled this as a cautionary tale. Hopefully someone can learn from my experience. I think people can also learn something else from your story. They can learn that everything is better if you're comfortable with your partner. Even though the sex wasn't like it is in the movies, if you weren't comfortable with your partner, everything would have been worse. At least if you can talk to your partner, you won't feel nervous or embarrassed about this kind of stuff. I see far too many people in here who aren't even comfortable talking to their partner about sex, yet they think they're ready to have it with them. Totally true. There was a guy when I was fourteen or fifteen who kept asking me to do it with him and I was all "I'm totally not ready to deal with the issues of contraception and possible outcomes, like pregnancy, and even though you're not a virgin I don't think you are either." I wasn't confident with my first serious boyfriend either, and neither was he - I caused him a lot of pain once but he didn't tell me until almost a year later, when we'd broken up and become friends again. And I didn't tell him how I like to be kissed. Really, you gotta come into your own before you start messing around at all. My current boyfriend, it took us a while to get into a rhythm of kissing we both liked (well, like a couple of days, it wasn't instant) and even now we're still experimenting and learning about each other. You have really got to be able to talk about EVERYTHING, like what contraceptives you plan to use and what you'd do in case of pregnancy etc. I've only ever done stuff in serious relationships, so I'm not entirely sure what the rules are vis a vis casual sex, but if I was into it I would make sure condoms were used. Unfortunately, people are idiots. I think that's something they don't stress enough in sex ed - to wait until you're ready, and a few ways to tell you're ready. Being comfortable with a partner, and being able to assert yourself, and talking through everything. I have heard so many stories of regretting it, or realising they were too young, and I just think... it could've been avoided if you'd just trusted yourself and known what you wanted. (Of course, I never imagined I'd lose my virginity a week into a new relationship, but it all worked out for the best - year and a half later still together. : D)
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