|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:46 am
My boyfriend and I have both reached the point in our relationship where we're ready to have sex, i.e. vaginal intercourse. We've progressed through manual and oral sex, we’ve both had all the discussions, we have a number of methods protection prepared and we're both in our twenties. We're also both virgins (when it comes to intercourse).
On two occasions we've tried to have sex, and both times we've been unsuccessful. He can't get more than inch or so in, before the mood is completely lost (on my part, really). I acknowledge that I am nervous, but because of the anticipation of pain, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to overcome that. We haven't yet tried using lube, that will most likely be the next step, but I'm concerned that it won't be enough. Is there any other course of action that anyone can suggest we take? I'm feeling so embarrassed that this seems to be so unnecessarily difficult for us.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:07 am
My first time, it was like that too. He could only get an inch in. A big, big part of it is that you have to learn to relax. I was so tense that it was hard for my partner to penetrate me. I was yeally nervous about the potential pain too (that was actually my main hang-up). But after our first unsuccessful try, it was easier the next time around, and for me, it hurt a lot less than I thought it would. But I was able to relax becasue I really, really,really trusted the man I was with. I knew he would not hurt me, and would not go any farther than I was ready for. So there has to be trust, and I'm not saying you don't have that, but that is one necessary component. then you have to try to be less tense. Its all about your state of mind. If all you can think about is how scared you are, you will never be able to get it to work for you. So my advice to you is to really work on relaxing your muscles down there, and definitely try the lube, it should help.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:36 am
Sakari is right. You have to relax and use a water-based lubricant. Those two things are very important. Being tense and dry are by far the two most common causes of pain. If relaxation and lubrication do not help, talk to your ob-gyn about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:28 am
My first and only try so far was unsuccessful as well, so don't feel bad, it happens. It was mostly my fault because I told him not to go in right away, I wasn't ready because I was nervous. Next time I am just going to go through with it and not let being nervous stop me. Just tell yourself to worrying about it so much, don't even think about it when you go to do it. I think my main problem was I was thinking about it too much and being undesicive. I've made up my mind now that next time, I am not going to do that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:54 pm
I actually didn't have any pain the first time I had sex. I think it's because I was really turned on, so the lubrication was there =P, and I really trusted my partner and I was relaxed because of that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:51 pm
Amariel My boyfriend and I have both reached the point in our relationship where we're ready to have sex, i.e. vaginal intercourse. We've progressed through manual and oral sex, we’ve both had all the discussions, we have a number of methods protection prepared and we're both in our twenties. We're also both virgins (when it comes to intercourse). On two occasions we've tried to have sex, and both times we've been unsuccessful. He can't get more than inch or so in, before the mood is completely lost (on my part, really). I acknowledge that I am nervous, but because of the anticipation of pain, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to overcome that. We haven't yet tried using lube, that will most likely be the next step, but I'm concerned that it won't be enough. Is there any other course of action that anyone can suggest we take? I'm feeling so embarrassed that this seems to be so unnecessarily difficult for us. Until you are more relax, why not ask him if you can be on top(more in control that way) and if anything happens you don't like, you can fix that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:05 pm
Fiaroka I actually didn't have any pain the first time I had sex. I think it's because I was really turned on, so the lubrication was there =P, and I really trusted my partner and I was relaxed because of that. Same here, no pain, no discomfort. I was in the mood, lubricated, and relaxed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:38 am
It didn't hurt for me my first time, it felt stretchy and weird.
Might be an idea to go on top, so you're in control - I did and I think it worked better for me that way. I moved at my own pace while I got used to it and although it took a couple more attempts for me to be comfortable enough to just let him go at it (and get off) that was what I wanted.
Just because you start one way doesn't mean you have to stick with it. Keep trying. ^_^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:18 am
With my first time my boyfriend kind of just went for it, but when he realized how much pain I was in he felt horrible. We thought I was wet enough for it but I guess not. He was quite the sweetheart in bed. It was like I realieved so much pressure off from him
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:24 pm
 the winds have shifted;
despite our hopes and dreams it seems.
our fears grow strong inside our wounded hearts. you've grown, the hero;
under the stairs is now the man who holds.
our last true prayer.
Sadly, the first time I had sex, he wasn't fully hard. Gradually each time after that, he took less time actually penetrating and I eventually got use to it. I'm usually pretty tight, but sometimes, I like the slight pain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:21 pm
The first time it comes in, you're expected to feel a little bit of discomfort. But, if you dont use lubrication, i think its alright for him to come in a little at a time, so that you can get used to it, u know?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:26 pm
Haki808 The first time it comes in, you're expected to feel a little bit of discomfort. But, if you dont use lubrication, i think its alright for him to come in a little at a time, so that you can get used to it, u know? If the girl is relaxed and lubricated, she should not feel discomfort during sex, even her first time. If she is not relaxed and lubricated, she probably shouldn't be having sex at that particular time. A lot of people still believe the old myth that sex makes a girl "looser," but that's not the case. The v****a stays the same before and after sex. So girls don't really have to "get used to" sex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:11 pm
maybe you should try letting him go in a little bit farther each time
that way, it won't hurt as bad
or, if you want, use lubrication
that would help a lot
or make sure that you're in the mood when you're going to do it
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:16 pm
my gf had no pain our first time but if you are tense your vginal muscles are too therefore even if it causes pain for you it may cause him pain so your not alone in that aspect
and chances are however that he will go floppy from nerves (again i did) its just something that happens so youve just gotta relax!!!
BTW be warned its not as good as they make out!
well not the first time mrgreen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
