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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:02 pm
The little filly had wandered away from her father and brother. She had been quite pleased to have been reunited with her brother, and though she was just as glad to meet some of her father's half of the family, the white and red filly often thought of her mother and relatives from that side. She tried not to, of course, still finding acceptance to emotions strange. And though she hurt, deep inside, she also felt a new pain. . . a foreign sensation unlike the hurt her own demons had caused.
Part of it was homesickness, a longing for the touch of the blue and white lady that had cared for her since birth. Though Cassiel understood that Rue and she hadn't initially been wanted, a stern talking from Reaper and a final acceptance through her father had softened her up considerably. What had Ezriel said - she hurt because she let herself hurt?
Maybe that truly was the case, but the young filly had done her best to change her attitude. It wasn't easy, and sometimes - a lot more than she admitted - she still felt different. It wasn't easy to fit in with her father's side because she hardly looked like any of them! Yes, she fit the colour palette, but she had no thick hair, no wings, no horns, nothing. And yet, she realized she didn't fit entirely back home with her mother's side as she held absolutely no colour from their side! And her eyes were blazingly black in comparison to the winter tones that her maternal side consisted of.
So it was, the little filly found herself a bit overwhelmed and more than a little confused thanks to her place and position. She had given up fighting the fact that she didn't easily fit in, and sought comfort when her family became too overwhelming by sneaking off to her lonesome. She wasn't a mean girl, but she was a bit broken for such a tender age.
Heaving a small sigh, blood red and white washed over the snow, sticking out like a sore thumb. The cogs of her mind churned and turned as she attempted not to think - that's all she seemed to do was think, quander and mull over everything; over analysis had lead to assumption which had caused her grief down the road. Still. . . . . She found it wasn't easy to distract herself. At least not by herself. Rue made for a good distraction, yes, but the hyperactive colt wasn't here.
Shaking her head, she turned her trot in to a small run, careful of the slick snow underneath her hooves. Maybe if she ran, she could forget - step by step, breath by breath, with every confident step she picked up the pace a bit more. Faster, faster, until she finally was rocketing through the snow covered hills, kicking up clouds of powder as she went.
Where she was running, she had no clue. Maybe a great adventure, maybe back home to mother - who knew? She'd find out soon as she stopped. For now though, Cassiel plum didn't want to think.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:22 pm
 Tobias was in a wild mood. Not that this was entirely unusual. He was pretty sure he was wearing out his mother with all his charging around and playing rough and rambunctious games. He didn't mean to be too energetic and playful, but sometimes he knew he taxed even his mother's good nature.
Today she had finally told him in exasperation to go off and find a playmate. She knew he was quick on his hooves and knew how to call for help should he need it. His father was very daring and brave in this little colt's mind, and he was determined to prove himself just as bold and daring. So off he had bolted, tiny hooves kicking and pawing at the air mid-stride.
He charged about for a while on his own, bursting through snow-covered bushes with squealing delight, or skidding wildly across a frozen pond. He was plunging heedlessly through lovely deep snowdrifts when the sound of small hooves got his attention. He stopped, chest-deep in a mound of the cold stuff, and pricked his purple ears towards the sound.
Before long, here came a small form, black mane and tail showing up starkly against the muted landscape. She was still a ways away, but heading at an angle that could take her right past his play area without her seeing him possibly. Ah, but that wouldn't be very adventerous, now would it? The merry lad hadn't a thought that the filly could be fleeing danger. All he saw was the chance for a race!
He floundered out of the snowdrift, long gangly legs getting caught occasionally and then pulling loose with a lovely fling of loosened snow. She had almost passed her nearest point to him by the time he got free. Now was the time! He flung himself forward, his course meant to meet hers a distance away. His strong little body flourished under his demands, and he soon was winging his wayafter her, gold-striped forelegs a blur.
Finally meeting her, he adjusted his path so that they now were flying across the wintery land, neck and neck, both pounding out an impressive pace for such little bodies. He rolled a joyful eye at her, grinned big, then pinned his ears and plunged forward in a spurt of speed.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:42 pm
So caught up in her run, the black eyed filly hardly noticed the flailing purple form over to her right. Chest heaving, nostrils flaring she focused only on keeping her hooves firm against he ground and not allowing herself to slip. Furthermore, she was doing her best to focus on anything, ANYTHING but her thoughts and that jaded darkness that threatened underneath her skin. She didn't want to think anymore, she didn't want to analyze what she was, who she was supposed to become, and why she stuck out so poorly within her family. She didn't want to have to fight the hurt that stained her soul, nor witness the pool of lonliness she felt even with her family's presence. . .
In a way, where Tobias ran for fun and competition, Cassiel ran from herself. There was no bear behind her, but a figurative beast was never too far from her heart. And no matter how fast her legs took her, no matter how tight her lungs squeazed, no matter how fast her heart beat there was no no escape in sight.
But she tried, and that was all that mattered.
Step by step, she carried herself forward until a flash of purple and white cpatured her attention. The thoughts stopped as starteled surprise cause the filly to half jump mid-stride, jerking away from Tobias as if she might be contagious! Her run almost fumbled, but Cassiel was sure footed despite the snow, and caught herself. Before she had a chance to slam on the breaks, the blue eyed colt had tossed her a grin as if everything was all right. . . .
Her expression changed from uncertain defense in to a quizzical sort of confusion. How did she respond to such an expression? It reminded her of Rue and his guiltless glee, of his joy and optimism. But instinct told her when one wanted to race, and the lighter side of Cassiel couldn't help but oblige. Before she knew what she was doing, she had pinned her own ears back and stretched out her neck.
If he wanted to race, she'd give him a run to remember!
This was the distraction she needed; and running away wasn't a choice. Though concern over who she was, what she was, and her inability to easily mingle and mix with anyone was overwhelmed by instinctive and foalhood need. Cassiel was no island - she needed friendship like none other, and other foals to get to know outside of her family. Rue couldn't keep her company forever. . . .
Besides - this was a race. Exactly where to, she didn't know, but with a hint of a smile she did her best to recapture the few paces behind him she had lost in her earlier start.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:38 pm
What fun! Tobi gave a brassy, shrill neigh of sheer excitement and paused mid-stride to leap skyward and kick up all four heels in a spasm of happiness. What could be better than a spontaneous race with another foal? In fact, he got to having so much fun, he forgot to run in a straight line. He darted left, around a tree, then right and leapt over a rock, then veered in a curve that aimed straight for more snow-covered bushes. Yes, what a finale that would make! He threw himself on faster, hurtling towards the heavily snow-laden brush, relishing the idea of the damp snow against his hide and the lovely spray of the cold wet stuff that would happen when they both burst through the barrier.
Heedless to the possibility of something on the other side, he concentrated on his hooves upon the ground and the eager anticipation of flinging himself through the finish line, with the hope that the filly would be right there with him to enjoy the moment too!
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:56 pm
The pink and white soquili had to admit - there was something fun about this little competition. It wasn't her brother, and though she wasn't sure what to expect through the race, the filly found that her little smile had stayed planted upon her features. Black eyes peered out, squinting at the snow that sprayed her from their bound. Thus far, just about everyone she'd met had been somehow related to her. Family was wonderful (sort of) but there was something even more exciting about chasing a stranger through the snow. There was a new sense of danger, of adventure and excitement - an inability to know exactly how they were going to respond!
It kept the filly running, despite her weakening stamina and growing exhaustion. Where would he run with her and just how far would they go? Could he last or, like her, would he begin to slow? Cassiel gasped, biting back a sudden, foreign giggle as he luched to the side, zig-zagging back and forth through the snow. Round and round, over a rock, and heading straight towards the bushes Cassiel felt the touch of something she hadn't in a long time. . . . .
Enjoyment.
Running was innocent but fun! And for just a few moments, no matter how brief, she had forgotten about her concerns and apprehensions. For just a minute, her anxieties had fled and left little room for her darkness.
As they headed straight for the bushes, Cassiel found herself uncertain. She didn't know what lay beyond the snow laden plants, and part of her wondered exactly how comfortable it would be. What if there was another animal inside? Or. . . or. . . or what about thorns!? Smile fading, Cassiel's eyes went wide as they fast approached, and though she enjoyed this little colt's company, she didn't want to hurt physically too. Trust hadn't yet been gained and Cassiel squealed as she threw on her breaks.
It. . . . wasn't a smart idea.
Her hooves slipped out from underneath her, and with a gasp she tried to catch herself. Flailing wildly, forward momentum keeping her on her course, the girl tripped and tumbled, head over heels and wound up, more or less, crashing in to the bushes. Plumes of dead leaves, frozen twigs, and snow scattered everywhere as Cassiel tried to catch her breath.
Wow.
What a rush.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:09 pm
Tobias hadn't fared too terribly much better. His headlong charge into the bushes had slowed him a fair amount, but he hadn't counted on roots. One chanced to snag one hoof just as he burst out the other side, and he tumbled nose-first into a large and rather soft snowdrift. For a moment, he lay there, sprawled with his head stuck completely under the snow. His sides heaved, but all else was still.
Then he suddenly surged upward, spitting snow and shaking the damp stuff out of his pale mane, eyes bright and dancing with laughter. "Wow! What a fantastic ending! Wasn't that fun?! Want to do it again?" His spoke fast, not even pausing for breath between the sentences. Already his hooves were dancing on the snow, despite his heaving breaths as his body sought to catch its breath. Sometimes even his muscular body couldn't keep up with him!
About then he noticed her shocked look, and the state of the bush and what it had done to her. His expression changed in an instant from exhilerated to concerned. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay?" again spoken in a rush without any pause. He was immediately beside her, nuzzling here and there to check her out for injuries, ready at any second to bugle with his considerable lung capacity for his mother.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:19 pm
Cassiel heaved breaths, panting as she lay sprawled within the bush. It wasn't comfortable, no, but her legs felt numb from the exertion. It wasn't often the filly allowed herself such a game, and part of her was wondering if engaging with the purple one had been a good idea. Still, it seemed as if he had taken off. . or. . . something. A glance around proved he wasn't in the bush, and as her ears twitched she didn't hear anything.
For a moment.
Cassiel had just begun to shake herself from from her odd position when a voice - she presumed it to be the bright coloured colt - spoke up. He was talking about the ending and how great it was. . . . Or something of such sort. Heaving a soft snort, the girl almost responded until the bush parted and there was her phantom friend! Words were spoken, an apology rushed, and without so much as a second thought he was nuzzling her, looking over for wounds or scrapes and overall fussing!
Gasping, she almost cringed, squirming to get to her hooves. She rolled out of the bush, stained with snow, frozen soil and a few dead leaves but she paid them no heed. Giving herself a small shake, she half took a step back from Tobias, unsure how to respond. Uh. . . um. . The running had ended, but it hadn't occurred to Cassiel that she'd actually have to socialize. Still - she wasn't afraid to die, so how could she be afraid of a lil' colt? Maybe it was just his friendly manners that put her out of place. . . .
Still - despite not having an opportunity to bond with foals her own age, she did have Rue. And this one acted like a much more sensible version of her sibling. Sort of. Dipping her head, she pawed at the little foal, averting her gaze shyly as she allowed herself to speak. It was a whisper, as it would forever be, but she was clear and assured. Even if it took a little focus to understand. "Oh I'm . . . I'm all right - r-r-really. No - no need to worry 'bout me." And wasn't that the truth.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:29 pm
Her withdrawal and slight retreat didn't faze the purple colt. He followed right after her, through the bush, and out the other side, where she stood and managed to finally say something. He tipped his head to the side in the most adorable fashion, short mane falling over his eyes slightly. "You sure?" he queried, slower this time. It seemed if he used just a few words, he spoke slower. But the more excited and the more enthused he was, the faster he tended to talk. "M'name's Tobi." There was an actual, normal pause here before he continued, "What's your name?"
Her soft tone and shy demeanor also didn't bother him. Very little ruffled him, and really only hurt feelings or bodily injury worried him. Everything else could be gotten through with a smile and lots of play, or at least that was his attitude. The vast difference between their personas didn't even occur to him. To Tobi, she was just a friend, one he already felt dedicated to and responsible for.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:46 pm
Cassiel wasn't sure what to do or how to respond. Her tail swished behind her, more in a nervous fashion than anything, as the cogs of her mind attempted to figure out what to do. It was different with her family - though she'd always been quite quiet and hiddenly shy, for a long time she had stayed away through choice. But family was different than friends or strangers. She could talk to family, she could freely be affectionate (rarity that it was) and understood that they were there for her.
But this one. . . . how did she act? Did she treat him like her brother or was she more reserved like with Eponine and Ezriel? Still, she had enough manners to know not to be rude. And she wasn't afraid of him as so much confused how to respond.
Friendship wasn't her strong point.
Still, he was amicable, outgoing, and seemed to have no qualms against games. Peeking up at him through her ebony locks, the little one tilted her head curiously. Tobi. She tested it out mentally, committing the name to memory with the face. This one wasn't easily forgettable, no siree. Still, her serious expression softened just a hair at his gaze and expression - he seemed as happy to be talking as he had been running! At least now though she could better understand what he said.
Name. NAME! Logic and manners kicked in, and her black eyes widened at her rudeness. Hastily, she spit out as quickly as she could "Cassiel! I mean . . . . Cassiel." She offered what could have been an apologetic glance before looking around them. A moment later, another thought knocked upon her mind and she added as softly as she had before, "It's - it's nice to meet. . . you."
There. Her mother's words and rules and the way she acted hadn't been completely lost upon the quiet and introverted girl. For even though she didn't often speak unless spoken to, she observed behind her burning black gaze.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:56 pm
Still unbothered by her ultra-soft voice and hesitant demeanor, he grinned at her enthusiastically. "Gosh, you can run fast for a filly!" His tone held utmost approval and praise, and his eyes glowed happily. He pranced in place in unconcious emphasis. "You kept up fine!" This was high praise, as Tobi truly was a strong and fast foal, though still quite young. HIs brother tried to keep up, but didn't always. His unbounded energy tended to express itself often in action and speed, usually out-doing most other more sedate youngsters. "M'Momma says I shouldn't race iffen the other foal can't keep up," he babbled, not quite as fast, but still at a good clip. "But yer fast. We can race anytime y'want!" He was so thrilled by this that he gave a buck with a twist.
He paused then, though, and gave her his full attention again. "Why're you runnin, anyway? S'that yer favorite thing t'do?" He leaned close, eager to hear her answer. Wouldn't it be great if she loved to run too? What fun they'd have! His family being so affectionate, it didn't occur to him that she might not be comfy with close contact. He blew gently, close enough to warm her nose with his breath. His earnest eyes stayed fixed on her onyx ones, untroubled by the oddness of them. Eyes were eyes, right? He might have thought it odd if she didn't have any, but eyes of an unusual color didn't seem worthy of notice, to him.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:29 pm
Cassiel was unused to such praise. Though she had found many compliments through her grandfather, Twilight, and Eponine often had fond things to say to her . . . . sometimes . . . occasionally. . .such things were rarities. Especially from her father, Ezriel! And thus far, no one had ever complimented her so fervantly, much less over something so silly as how she ran. Her? Fast? The girl swallowed, taking a hesitant glance down at her hooves as if it might be some sort of curse. She lifted one, investigating it, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. . . . . But still - the way he was talking made it sound as if her speed was special!
Anyone could run if they wanted to. It wasn't as if it had taken talant.
Still, she almost smiled shyly, inwardly pleased. Though darkness within her snarled and wanted to deny such praise, to tell him that he truly was being too kind and that she wasn't worth such things, she held back. That would be letting the hurt win, wouldn't it? And hadn't father told her she had to not let it hurt?
Ahgh!
Heaving a small breath, her ears twitched as the stranger Tobi told her that they could race anytime they wanted. As if. . . as if he wasn't just a fleeting face, a stranger. As if there was something more tangible to them than just to young spirits running to run. Friendship? No - it was far too soon for that. She might never see him again and then any promises he made or she began to hope for would be tossed to dust.
No - he was just a boy. And they had just ran. And that was that.
Cassiel blinked as the boy chattered happily, almost pleased that he didn't demand her voice. It was a pleasant change for once - many talked and talked and gave up worrying about her within her silence. Still, this one hardly seemed to flinch or question why she was so quiet and soft. . . . that made her happy. Ish. She didn't back up as he neared, but she did shift her head away so it wasn't quite so close to his own - he wouldn't want her nose touching him part of the darkness whispered. So better not even bother. But his question - running? Did she love it?
"Uh. . . um. . . . I - I like to run, yes. But really I was just . . . . just runnin. . . . runnin' away. That's all." There. With luck he wouldn't press it, and though she wondered if perhaps she had said too much, Cassiel didn't want to NOT answer her. She ran a lot, yes, but for entirely different purposes than her friend.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:53 pm
He pawed a hole in the snow as he'd seen Mama do for grazing. He didn't care to eat frozen grass at the moment, it just gave him time to think and to get some of that incessant energy out. "Runnin 'way?" He raised a concerned gaze to her again, after examining the dark earth beneath the bright snow. "You in trouble, Cassiel? Does you neeed help?" His ears pricked forward sharply and his little muscled body stiffened into an unconcious 'hero' pose. "'Cause I'll help. Yer m'friend, and nobody should mess with m'friends." He bared his teeth in a mock-grimace, but didn't mean it any less for his goofiness.
"An iffen it's something big, we can yell for m'Mama." He nodded firmly with a stomp of his hoof for emphasis. "She wouldn't let nuttin bad happen to either of us." His confidence in his mother was clear and strong, a shining beacon of faith, trust, and love. "Dad neither, but he's off with m'brother," he added as a sidenote, a random rambly habit he had. "S'no matter what you are runnin from, we'll protect you." Again he threw out his chest and arched his little neck in a mimic of his father being brave and honorable.
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:22 pm
Cassiel's ears twitched in curiousity as the purple colt responded. What on earth was he talking about? Her black orbs shadowed lightly as she tried to make sense of the rubbish he began to spout - odd that this stranger seemed concerned with her well being! That. . . . That wasn't how things worked, was it? She practically gaped with her mouth wide open as he dubbed her with a foreign label - friend? Her? He couldn't possibly be serious!
As the purple colt continued to to discuss the easy fix for her running - his support, his friendship, and his mother, and overall a decree of protection cast upon her shoulders, the pink and white soquili hadn't a clue how to properly respond. This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go - he was supposed to sprout off on some tangent or dismiss her answer with little more than a sympathetic nod. He wasn't actually supposed to worry or try to help her fix what was wrong, if only because what was wrong was herself! Never had Cassiel received such devotion and assurance from one outside of her family. . . .Heck, though forgiven, she still remembered that her own parents had wanted nothing to do with her and Rue - so how could a complete stranger, a running partner, suddenly be so faithful?
. . . . Well, though a sliver of her desperately wanted to believe him, she could only dip her had and paw at the ground in an almost nonchalant manner. Her black tail swished a bit nervously behind her, and she stole another guarded look back up at the colt. "It's . . . . I mean. . . th-thank you but, but that's not necessary. I'm just runnin' from . . . . I mean. . ." She sighed heavily, drooping her head so her nose practically touched the frosty snow. How could she explain? She never talked about it with her mother, at least not frequently, and the only one who had understood had been Ezriel. Maybe it was best if she didn't answer. "It's complicated. I mean. . . I'll be all right, I promise. See, I . . . I already am better!" She offered the purple colt a small, shy smile. It was foreign upon her features, but sincere - even if she couldn't exactly explain herself easily to her . . . . . . 'friend' . . . . . . that didn't mean she couldn't offer reassurance.
He needn't worry about her - she was a nobody.
Quickly wanting to the change the subject, she grabbed at the first strings of conversation she could find."Do you . . . Do you have a big family?" Only too late did the young filly realize she trod upon dangerous grounds. If she were lucky though, like her brother Rue, the purple one might forget his earlier concern over her well being by a hasty change of subject. She was all right - besides, she had a friend. One of her very first.
And though the grin didn't reach her eyes, she still kept her expression soft if only for the sake and appreciation of this new colt before her.
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:13 pm
He gave her a penetrating look. She wasn't telling all. He could feel it in his bones. She needed looking after, he decided right then and there. And he was the one to do it! But for now, he answered her question with relish, his small hooves beating a tattoo on the cold ground.
"M'Mama tells me that I have lots of family." He grinned widely at her, tail swishing excitedly behind him. "I gots a half brother and sister, and they gots half brothers and sisters, and I gots an uncle, an one of m'bruthers has a giiiirl-friend." His voice went all sing-songy on that last word, as if teasing the stallion that wasn't even present. "Mama hopes they'll be happy for always and make lots of babies." His eyes glittered mischeviously.
His mood swung perceptibly again, for he sidled up closer to her, his warm strong body leaning against hers. "It's your family yer running from, isn't it?" He tipped his head wisely and then nuzzled her. "M'Mama says I'm too smart and fast for m'tail," he said by way of explination. "But you dun hafta keep runnin' 'way." He squared his shoulders and threw his head up bravely. "I'll pro'tect ya. Even if it's just that they's not so nice, but not mean." He snorted hard through his nose. "Family's not supposed t'make ya feel bad," he imparted firmly. "Not ever." These last two words were spoken slowly and clearly, to add empahsis to how strongly he felt about it. "C'mon, come meet my Mama."
He turned and began trotting away, but not without looking back. He peered over his shoulder and smiled, winking encouragingly at her. "I promise, she ain't the nipping sort, nor the fussy sort. C'mon!"
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:43 pm
Cassiel glanced up, and almost pinned her ears back as her new acquaintance stared at her. She could tell there was something going on within his mind, the cogs of his mind working despite her assurances that she was well. And she was. . . . sort of. Lately life had been complicated - she wasn't nearly so ready to throw her life away and had been reminded it was a gift. Eponine was a good mother despite her initial shortcomings, and Ezriel had actually taken a few minutes to share his pain with her. . . . Not-so-angel-grandpa had also told her that pain wasn't always meant to be fixed or healed, and differences didn't make her any worse than one another.
She'd had her first taste of pride, and had liked it. But it wasn't an easy battle, this need for confidence and self-assurance. In fact, the pink and crimson filly had yet to find it when away from those stronger than she. She wasn't very good at fighting, she wasn't very strong and . . . well. . . . was only good when it came to analyzing absolutely everything.
Like now.
Standing there, she took a gulp as the purple colt took a step forward and leaned against her. She took a half-step back, not wanting to crowd him, and almost shuddered at the nuzzle. What? Who did that to those whom weren't family? It hadn't been a bad sensation, but cuddling and affection wasn't something she was used to. Not that her mother, or Twilight or her various relatives weren't kind, no, it's just. . . Cassiel didn't often allow herself to be so forward with the gentle gestures.
How did she respond to his words? He didn't have to protect her! She didn't need it, first off, (well, maybe a little bit) but secondly it seemed like a mighty big chore to dedicate himself to her so swiftly! Already she was upsetting his life and she'd only had a race with him! Oh dear. . . . . Lowering her head, unsure what to do, Cassiel heaved a small sigh as her new friend began to trotting away.
Should she run again?
Or should she follow?
She had a family. Ezriel, Eponine, Rue. . . . Reaper, Twilight, Dante, Aiolos. . . . Biting her lower lip, Cassiel didn't want to lose her first friend so swiftly. Hesitantly, she took a few steps after, but called out as loud as she could (which wasn't very loud at all) "It's not so much them as . . . . as me. I mean, I . . . it's not. . . . it's. . . . . . it's complicated."
And it really was. Cassiel was in need of some fixing, and though pieces had come together better than before, there was still a lot in need of healing. But she followed, a sliver of her curious and desperately not wanting to be left out in the cold so soon.
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