Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs present...

[DaBonster]

Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs Present: 5th Year

Part 6: A Little Knowledge Can Be A Dangerous Thing

It was early October. James thought it was a good sign for Quidditch victory in the Fall, when all the leaves on the trees and in the courtyard sported Gryffindor colours. He sat, waiting for Defense Against the Dark Arts to begin, watching the dancing Autumnal leaves float past the windows. That one looked almost the same colour as Lily Evans’ hair, he thought.

James snapped to attention when he heard the familiar scraping sound Professor Hook made as he came in to class, silver hook trailing against the stone walls.

The students- or, most of the students, rather- started pounding their desks, chanting. “Hook…Hook…Hook…Hook…”

It had become like a sacred ritual for them, almost necessary for getting through the afternoon. “Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!”

By the time the grizzly Auror entered the room, the whole class was banging their desks, shouting his name. “HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK!”

“Now, now, children! That’s enough,” grinned Hook, in what was obviously rehearsed pantomime. “I’m not your god…”

“Yet!” the class screamed, willful participants in his over-indulgent display.

Hook laughed, and began unscrewing his hook in favour of his wand attachment. “Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering-“

“Where that liquor you promised us last month went!” Sirius called from the back of the room.

“Did I promise you liquor?” asked the bemused Hook.

“You did!” a few other students joined.

“I don’t think that sounds like something I would have done…” pondered Hook, scratching his stubbly chin rather precariously with the tip of his wand. “I’m a responsible authority figure!”

Hook lead the class in raucous laughter.

“No, honestly, I never said that,” Hook defended. And before the class could protest, he continued. “I said ‘We can drink in class on Friday,’ I never said, ‘My treat!’”

The class groaned, and several student threw crumpled scraps of parchment at the front of the room.

“Hey!” yelled Hook. “That better be your ‘homework’ assignments!”

The class laughed again, and Hook proceeded with a lesson. “Now, let’s see who’s been paying attention…”

Hook pointed his wand at the class, waving it slowly, like a divining rod. This was his way of calling on students, a practice which made them all nervous at first, but one which had not yet resulted in any accidental jinxings.

“Freckles!” he pointed the wand at a Slytherin boy in the back row. Hook always called from the back row, because he was unwilling to admit he needed glasses to see anything closer.

“Um,” blushed the boy. “I wasn’t here on Wednesday, Sir.”

“Lucky b*****d,” grumbled Hook. “I wish I wasn’t here on Wednesday!”

Hook had never even looked at his roll sheet, and had not bothered learning any of his students’ names. “You’re all going to die, anyway,” he had explained to them during their second class. To cope with this, he had devised nicknames for all his students, usually based on appearance, but occasionally their personality or behavior as well.

He pointed the wand again, this time at James. “Specs! You look brainy!”

“Sorry,” sighed James, ruffling his hair. “It’s just the glasses. It gives people that misconception.”

“Fine,” Hook continued moving the wand. “Ginger!”

“Me, Sir?” asked a terrified Arthur Weasly.

“No, the other Ginger. The one sitting next to Slimy MacJinkernose.”

Hook pointed the wand at Lily, who sat next to Snape. Nobody had ever asked what “Jinkernose” was supposed to mean, but Hook treated it as such a real word, several of his students had adopted it.

“You really should give us each our own nicknames,” reasoned Lily.

“I should do a lot of things,” countered Hook. “Now, tell me… What I was supposed to teach you today!”

Lily thought a long time. Hook had slept or read romance novels through most of Wednesday’s class, and hadn’t mentioned anything about what he would teach them next.

“Is that a rhetorical question, Sir?” she asked finally.

Hook laughed his random, maniacal laugh, then stopped abruptly. “No,” he answered firmly. “But I like your spunk! Fifty points to that house what you’re in!”

“Um, Gryffindor?” she asked, confused.

“Yeah, fifty for them!”

Several Gryffindors applauded. Hook moved his wand again, running out of back row students to call on.

“Eggy Sad Face?” he asked Remus. “Do you know what I’m supposed to teach you today?”

“Wand safety and maintenance?” Remus asked, staring down the point of Hook’s wand.

“That doesn’t sound like my class…” Hook said to himself, scratching his head with his wand tip.

Severus raised his hand. “Werewolves, Sir.”

“Where?!” Hook spun around, brandishing his wand.

“Page one-hundred-and-fifty-four. We’re supposed to be learning about Werewolves next,” Snape said cooly, looking out of the corner of his eye at Remus.

“Ah! Thank you for taking the initiative, Jinkernose. Very sporting of you. Your house can have some points, too.” Hook sauntered over to his desk and began searching for his book.

“How many?” asked Snape, eagerly.

“How many what?” Hook rummaged through his desk drawers.

“Points! How many points for Slytherin?”

“How many points do I usually give out?” Hook asked.

“Fifty,” answered Snape. Hook generally gave out more points than other professors, and for different reasons, but his antics seemed to amuse Dumbledore, so his random offerings were always counted.

“Then you get twenty-five… For feeling entitled!” Hook huffed. Finally, he found his textbook. He opened it to the chapter about Werewolves, skimmed the page a little, then looked up.

“You can all read, can’t you?” Hook asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yes!” cried an aggravated Slytherin. “We’re fifteen! Stop asking!”

“Some of us are sixteen,” Remus blushed.

“Really?” asked Hook.

“No, just this old fart!” Sirius reached over and mussed Remus’ hair.

“Alright, then, Oldie… Eggy… Sad Face… Older…ton!” Hook struggled. “You’re the new Secretary in Charge of Reading and Other People’s Business. Think you can handle that?”

“What… Does it entail?” asked Remus, nervously.

“Well, there’s no pay, the hours are long, you have no officially recognized power, and I’ll probably forget I assigned it to you. Basically, it’s a title that makes your fellow students hate you. Plus, you get to mind the class while I’m away!”

“Are you going somewhere, Sir?” asked Remus.

“Probably the kitchen. Does anyone else want anything?”

“Cheese sandwich!” - “Tea!” - “Some toast would be nice! No jam!” came the orders from the class.

“I wouldn’t mind an egg and bacon sandwich, if you’re offering,” shrugged Remus. “Oh, and a couple scones. Ooh, is there any of last night’s steak and kidney pie left over? I’ll have that, too.”

“Good choice, Eggy Sad Face. I’ll hurry back.” And with that, Hook swooped out of the room.

The rest of the class, but particularly the Slytherins, turned their wrathful gaze on Remus.

“Um…” Remus blushed. “I guess, work, if you want to. Otherwise…”

The class turned away from him, and went about their own business.

“Oi, Moony!” Sirius whispered. “If you get any more titles, you’re going to need a bigger chest to pin all the badges on. I happen to know of a very good surgeon-“

Remus punched Sirius’ shoulder.

“No, really! He helped my cousin!” Sirius laughed, unfazed by Remus’ ineffective punch.

Sitting nearby, Snape leaned over to Lily, showing her some lines in his textbook he had underlined, and pointing surreptitiously at Remus.

The underlined sections read:

Signs of a Werewolf:
1.Violent behavior, depression, and mood swings
2.Frequent disappearances on the days of full moons
3.Alarming appetite, especially for rare meats
4.Index finger longer than middle finger , reddish hair not shared by parents, or other physical abnormality
5.Mysterious or unaccounted for injuries and/or scars.

Lily looked over at Remus, who was now being laughed at and nudged by both Sirius and James.

“You must be out of your mind,” she whispered to Snape. “That doesn’t sound anything like him!”

Snape rolled his eyes and drew little arrows next to 2, 3, and 5. “See?”

“I don’t think it works like that,” Lily whispered back. “You can’t pick and choose. I could take that same set of signs and make a case that you were a Werewolf if I only needed three out of five!”

“Just think about it a little more,” Snape persisted. “Keep an eye on him, it’ll make sense.”

“Maybe you should think about it a little less,” Lily argued.

“You don’t believe me? Fine!” Snape slammed his book shut. “But there’s a full moon this weekend, and I’d bet anything we won’t see hide nor hair of him!”

Lily pretended to ignore his comments, but the more she sat there, in the noisy, raucous classroom, reading that book, the more suspicious she became.

...To Be Continued...  

[DaBonster]

Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs Present: 5th Year

Part 7: A Lie Between Friends

James, Remus, and Sirius sat beneath their favorite tree. Although, to onlookers, it would have appeared that James and Remus sat under the tree with a large black dog.

Sirius was an Animagus, a rare and special kind of wizard that could transform into a specific animal at will. Peter was an Animagus, too, but Sirius often teased him because Peter’s animal form was a rat, and Sirius’s was an Irish Wolf Hound. In fact, Sirius’ dog mouth was big enough that he could eat Peter’s rat form whole, and often threatened he would.

James and Remus had traded notes from that day’s D.A.D.A. lesson, the lesson on Werewolves. They laughed at each other’s joke answers, written in magical ink that was only visible to those the writer chose in advance. The precautions they took were necessary. Most of their joke answers were about Remus, specifically, being a Werewolf. If their papers fell into the wrong hands, Remus could be expelled, and his friends harshly punished.

Sirius, who hadn’t even bothered taking joke notes, rolled lazily in the grass nearby, thoroughly enjoying his canine freedom. Whenever Sirius took his dog form at school, the other Marauders called him ‘Padfoot’ to protect his identity, even though they occasionally called the human Sirius ‘Padfoot’ as well.

James laughed quietly as he read Remus’ notes. “Hey, Padfoot! Listen to this one: ‘The five signs of Werewolfism’- Padfoot, get off my leg! That’s not funny!-‘ the five signs’-“

“James, maybe later,” Remus cautioned.

“He hasn’t read it, yet. ‘The five’-“

“James! Lily’s coming! Read it later!” Remus hissed.

“Oh,” James blushed as he unnecessarily hid the invisible notes.

“Give them to me!” Remus reached over and grabbed his notes back as Lily waved. Remus and James waved back.

As Lily approached, Sirius, or Padfoot, ran up to her.

“Oh, you have a dog!” she cooed.

Sirius, who had at this point perfected his dog act, immediately stuck his long snout up the front of her skirt.

“Hey!” James yelled, seeming unreasonably angry at his dog’s behavior, and started smacking Sirius with a rolled up piece of parchment. “No, Padfoot, no! Bad dog! Very bad dog!”

“James!” Lily scolded, removing Padfoot’s nose from her skirt and kneeling to hug his shaggy neck. “What’s the matter with you? He’s just a dog! He doesn’t know any better, there’s no reason to hit him!”

James stopped, dumbfounded at the colossal backfiring of his attempted chivalry. “I-“ he stammered.

“What’s your name?” she asked Sirius sweetly, rubbing his ears.

“We call him ‘Padfoot,’ usually,” Remus answered for him.

“That’s such a cute name! Hi, Padfoot!” Lily leaned close to Sirius, and let him lick her face. His tail wagged, emphatically.

James twisted the rolled piece of parchment between his hands, nearly ripping it in two. His face felt hot, but he couldn’t look away.

“Anyway,” said Lily, not noticing James, “Remus, I was wondering if I could borrow your notes from Defense Against the Dark Arts today. Sev wouldn’t stop talking to me, and it’s not the easiest class to pay attention in.”

“Notes?” asked Remus, nervously. “I don’t think I took any notes today,” he lied.

“But I saw you writing,” she said, trying not to act suspicious. She felt horrible checking up on one of her closest friends, but Severus had said something to make her think. She didn’t think she could relax until she proved Sev wrong.

“Writing? Me? No, I was just…” Remus floundered. “I was passing notes to James and Sirius,” he lied. “Wasn’t I, James?”

“Hmm?” James looked at Remus, slightly confused. “Oh, yeah. We were passing notes.”

“But that parchment in your hand,” Lily continued. “On the back it says, ‘page one-hundred-and-fifty-five, continued.’ Wasn’t that today?”

“Oh, yeah,” Remus looked down at the half-invisible parchment in his hands. “Let’s see…”

His paper read:

Five Signs of Werewolfism- “Lycanthropy” preferred. Sounds cool.
1.He sits in my chair
2.He wears my clothes
3.His name is Remus J. Lupin
4.He likes chocolate
5.He’s a really good okay dancer

He couldn’t read her those, obviously. He stammered and stalled a while, trying to think of something to say.

“Here we go! ‘Werewolfism: you can always tell a Werewolf because he’s the one turning into a monster and howling at the moon like a crazy person,’” Remus invented. “Does that help at all?”

“Um, no. I mean, sorry. There were supposed to be five signs,” Lily blushed, now feeling horrible for even listening to Snape’s theory for an instant. “I’ll just re-read the chapter after dinner.”

“Yeah, me too, I guess,” Remus smiled.

“Thanks, anyway!” Lily gave Sirius a final pat on the head before turning and running back towards the castle.

As soon as she was out of ear-shot, James gave Sirius another hard slap with the rolled up parchment. “What was all that about, then?” he asked.

Sirius jumped up and ran a few paces away, then turned and wagged his tail, trying to bait James into chasing him.

“No, I’m not playing!” James huffed. He threw himself back, resting his head on his crossed arms as he watched the clouds through the tree branches.

Sirius looked around, and- sure that no one else was watching –turned back into human form. He stretched out next to James, copying his pose. “So?”he asked. “I thought it was funny!”

“Well, it wasn’t,” James pouted.

“She thought it was,” Sirius grinned.

“She thought you were a dog!” James hit Sirius with the parchment again.

“He is a dog,” Remus smiled, reclining next to them. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, the next time I see Lily, I’ll tell her Padfoot has some sort of dog disease and she should avoid getting too close to him if she sees him. Alright?”

“Hmph,” James grumbled, determined to stay angry, like a spoiled child. “I guess that might make me feel better…”

“No!” whined Sirius. “Don’t do that!”

James and Remus laughed at Sirius. After a while, James spoke again, this time more serious.

“Hey, lads?”

“Yeah?” said Remus and Sirius.

“Lily was taking notes in class. She said she wasn’t, but she was.” James looked darkly up at the fast-moving clouds.

“Maybe she was passing notes, like we were. Like she said,” said Sirius in a small voice.

“No,” sighed James. “She was taking notes. Snape was passing notes to her, she was answering him out loud, and she was taking notes.”

None of them spoke for a while.

“Well, what do you want us to do, Moony?” Sirius asked.

It was hard for Remus to speak. “We’ll watch her for a while,” he said, finally. “We’ll watch, and then maybe we won’t have to do anything.”

They stayed under the tree until dinner, afraid of what might await them in the castle.

...To Be Continued...