|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:31 am
Hello everyone my real name is Raella and obviously since you are here you want to improve your style. This is not something to change how you write but simply the quality. I despise "I see Spot" posts. It is an illness. Let me give an example. "I see Spot. I see Spot run. I like to see Spot run."
I find this all over the place while RP when RP is truly more then just describing actions. It is describing your character how it thinks, what it takes notice too, and the things that give it pleasure. If your character likes running water you could assume that they like harmony, symbolism is important. Tell what you character thinks about the water... why it thinks like that. Instead it just doing something tell us why! Motives are great in RP, let us know your character. The types of drinks your character orders also tell a lot about it. Put details! Even the smallest thing can give us the greatest hint as to who your character is. Your words are poetry let them be dramatic. But now.. lets continue this is only a summary I will be giving your lessons/exercises to do and some tips. As well Examples.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:36 am
Lessons LESSON 1 First let me impose that looks are always important for RPing. Everyone likes to have what they see be pretty. It may be extremely shallow but it is true. Now all posts do not have to be the same. They can be different. Though amonst the more experianced RPs you will see that they often have down-sized there post for the simple reason it does not take up as much space. Also do not be under the illusion just because your bigger font post is actually bigger compared to other people's smaller font posts. It is common curtisy in a thread to follow a trend of big or little. (If a thread has most people with big fonts.. use that. The same as the littler fonts.) I prefer lower fonts because without them my posts can be pages. I will show a few examples bellow of how I've seen some people style their actual posts. This -will- help. Leap of Faith!
She explains with heavy breaths in a desparate attempt to unblind her lover, " ButI love you!" .
She explains with heavy breaths in a desparate attempt to unblind her lover.
" But I love you! "
Ok, you get the idea. Find what you like. I personally like to separte my words from my actions. Them having there own little paragraph. Once more find what you like. This includes color! Color! Color! Also, there are some hidden templates of color in the style you just have to experiment with color names. The only one I've ever really cared to find is crimson. LESSON 2
My "see Spot" lesson. So continueing with what I did in the thread. We can always make things better by adding adjectives and changing things around. We will do a few exercises now that will prove useful. Get out your thesaurus! Note: No sentence is ever perfect so even if you have a great sentence I will still show you others way to write that sentence. Besides it's fun to learn several beautiful ways to say the basic thing so you can use the same idea over&over and have people not notice. (I use this trick alot)
"I see Spot run"
"With a glance I happen upon seeing a hound trotting along." (Look how this varied from the one before)
Now... lets try to complicate this alittle.. What can be replaced with glance... gaze.. eyes lead astray... averted eyes... to name a few.
"With eyes being lead astray I happen upon seeing a hound trotting along."
Ok! Great! See the concept coming along. To go on... "I happen upon seeing"... how can we change this.. a hard one, hm? Not really! by chance they catch...in a moments haste they(refering to eyes) envision...
"With eyes being lead astray in a moment haste they envison a hound trotting along."
I admit that sounds alittle akward. It does not flow elegantly together. How about..
"With eyes being lead astray they soon , in a moments haste, envison a hound trotting along."
BETTER! Punctuation is important. (I am not a literature teacher though. This is defiantly one of my flaws.)
For the last part of the sentence... "A hound trotting along." I like hound.. hound is a dog right? But wolven decent is a good one too. Always try to use something unique that is seldom seen. Does "Wolven-decent" fall in that seldom seen category for dog? yes. Trotting along... treading with lightly placed steps... Along? Along what?... treading with lightly placed steps ontop the cemented ground.
"With eyes being lead astray they soon, in a moments haste, envision a hound ttreading lightly placed steps ontop the cemented ground."
Tada! I cure "see Spot" illness!!! Lucky me! So now I want you to give it a try.
"Jan likes Will."
I will help you.
"Jan adores will"
Adores Will how? How much? What does it make her feel like? Does this love feel sad, great, or worrisome. Does it make her ache to her soul. Use deep expressions here!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:48 am
TIPS! Quote: TIP: THESAURUS! Find words you use often and find other words or phrases that can be used. This will save your arse.
I mean like come on. How often to find people using the same words 1000000 times in 5 sentences. That words gets annoying, eh? Well of course there are just some words that cannot be subsituted. Like lips... I use lips allot. But if you notice the words I use around them charge. Like supple, lush, full figures, lusty. I've even refered to them as frames for pearly whites. Quote: Also I just thought about this. Guilded cake. Who the hell has heard of guilded cake?!?! I mean it does have the same meaning, right? Come on... but that's the thing, guilded cake isn't often used. Your words are suppose to make guilded cake sounds awesome so people go... WHY HAVEN'T I EVER HEARD OF THIS GUILDED CAKE!?!??! Quote: *assumes teacher pose*
Well, young William, part of being a good roleplayer is paying thorough attention to your partner's post. Small details can be attended to and serve elongate and add realism to your post. Quote: Ok, I want to tell you some of my pet peeves. "The show all and tell all" first post. I am definately not a fan of posts that tells everything about your character so bluntly. If you look at the post I have quoted on the first page you notice I started out with a catchy eleoquent sentence that flowed and made people go "oh lala". It does give a clear picture on what your character is but I really RP for the art of it. To put poetry and song into words. Use passion instead of stale sentences. Quote: The rider pauses again and unzips the black leather riding jacket to reveal a black cotton t-shirt with the Watchmen's logo on the front. The t-shirt was cut across the middle so his abs showed. The sweat-sheened muscles stood out under the tight smoothness of his rich chocolate skin like shingles on a roof. He then shifts the shoulder strap of his bag onto his right shoulder and removes his helmet to shake out his hair as dark as a raven's wing which fell down to his waist. Like these.
It's just not something I like to see, personally. Though once more it is all about your style but everyone does that "show all, tell all". I did it myself! Use simple actions... and give hints to what your character is. Leave people guessing but not lost.
Tell of your character's personality first with accents of what he wears. Who your character is comes -first-. Add noises.. and thoughts. This is something alot of people do not do, tell people about your character. It's always what they do and not why. Tell us why. It's great to read, knowing that maybe we can relate to this character. We want story! Tell us why a goth acts goth(just a cliche example), what hims him like that? You can't relate to "sit down". Everyone sits down. Tell me why he sat does where he sat.. his manner in sitting down.. gestures or grunts..coos or sighs. Get the idea? Also... I hate when everyone gives an exact detail of how tall their character is. Give us just a clue "having high stature".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
