The Emporium of Forgotten Wizarding Treasures!!

[Empress_Cat]

Here's the low-down. You post crazy, made up wizarding world failures!!! It's your time to shine. Use your creativity and show us your harry potter invention! All you have to do is make up an ad, and post it in our emporium. Remember, you are trying to sell some stupid, pointless, or even hazardous object, but you try to make it sound appealing! For example: You could type up an entire ad on a slice of moldy cheese, and post it here. Every old, forgotten and miserable failure that has ever happened is posted in this shop on the walls. You can even make your own ad for the gift shop to sell if you like. Have fun, and make this almost like an rp. People can come in, and read ads- or you can just post one. If you DO post an add, I'd ask that you put it in the "document" format. I'll show you how this goes, so don't worry. Enjoy your chocolate chip cookie, and have fun gazing at the Emporium of forgotten wizarding treasures!  

[Empress_Cat]

BUCKING BROOMSTICKS! THIS IS SOMETHING YOU MUST SEE!

Are you the Quidditch fairing lad or lady? Want your team to succeed? Look no further!
With our new invention you can cheat without the aid of magic (because that is illegal-they never said anything about muggle uses!!!)

We're selling exactly 100 of our newly made magnetic golden snitches! Yes, that's right-MAGNETIC!
Those Muggles sure knew what they were doing when they made these little babies. It will draw the snitch to your seeker's gloves, and repel from those of your opposing team's seeker!

We'll give it all to you, the MAGNETIC GOLDEN SNITCH, the PLUS SIDED MAGNETIC GLOVES, and the NEGATIVE SIDED MAGNETIC GLOVES. One pair will draw the snitch to them, the others will push it away! It's all for a limited time only with a first come first serve basis. All for ten galleons!






WARNING: Magnetic properties may not work when involved in magic-based environments. If used improperly the magnets may cause: Brain damage, acidic burns (if broken), pnomonia, Ambulophobia, blindness, Aurophobia, or may even cause the core of your wand to erupt. Do not swallow or eat.  

[Empress_Cat]

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!!

Mr. Iminsane wishes to invite you to his rare egg auction. Prepare to step into a world of your wildest dreams. He is currently offering the Suicide egg!


This little egg has been passed down from family to family for thousands of years-luckily there was a successor before the former suddenly died of some strange cause. After much consideration they have decided to sell it to the highest bidder.

Believe it or not, this egg, which is only one foot in diameter, is full of surprises and power. It can:
scream, burst into flames, freeze to your fingers, give you a heart attack, create a minor earthquake (on rare occasions), produce a threatening tornado, make poisonous gases, create a massive explosion, give you food poisoning, cause a car accident (or a broom accident), sprout the black plague, fume the root of evil, sing deafening mermaid songs, grow a twenty foot poisonous tentacula, become the devils snare, make a sixty pound axe grow from inside of your head and eventually rupture through your skull, bite like a werewolf, swallow a human being, sick a ninety foot python on you, cause lightning to strike you from a clear sky, spread disease, cause fevers to soar over 180, bring about sudden death and so much more. (We just don't know it yet, because these are the only ailments that we've seen the family members suffer.)

It's yours for a limited time only-bring your friends, and you may be the lucky purchaser of the suicide egg!!!



WARNING: May cause Death in any shape size or form, brain damage, insanity, pain-and lots of it, birth disfunctions, the fear of everything, permanent hospitalization, broken nails, blood disfunctions, broken or severed limbs, loss of teeth, loss of hearing, loss of sight, fear, sudden aging, the sound of nails being dragged down a chalkboard, transformation of the body, natural disasters, and just about any horrible thing you can imagine...

 

[Tahi the Treacherous]

ARE YOU READY FOR WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS OF JOY TO SPROUT FROM THE DEEPEST PART OF YOUR INNER CHILD, SO THAT THE LOVE AND KINDNESS OF THE WORLD WILL SPREAD TO EVERY NATION ACROSS THE GLOBE, AND SAVE A WHALE IN RUSSIA?

Neither am I, so shut up and listen. I'm going to sell you something at a rediculously high price that I picked up out of the trash can that my Mother-in-Law's bum half-brother lives in, and I wouldn't pay a ball of lint for:

"NUMB!"
The NOT sensation, NOT doing anything fantastic; but draining the innocence from pure souls!

You receive "NUMB" in a box shaped something like a kumquat. If you're lucky, you'll get it at your doorstep when you order at exactly 2:03 a.m., as soon as the world undergoes atomic holocaust, on the Eve of our Lord 307 BC, and your mother is eating a samich while watch the Food channel.

"NUMB" is an indescribable substance that distorts the intelligence of anyone it comes in contact with. The closest we've come to describing it, is what a waterbuffalo looks like when it's playing poker upside-down.

Craving a little insanity? GOOD FOR YOU! ORDER NOW!

WARNING: Victims- I mean . . . CUSTOMERS of "NUMB" are known to vanish without a trace, or found weeks later in a coma surrounded by gorgeous, drunken women and a happy Tongan.

 

[turayza]

DO YOU WISH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WOULD LOVE YOU BACK?
WE HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION!
TRY THE HEART REMOTE TODAY!
Now, you can do anything! With the magical push of a button, the object of your affections will suddenly see the right way!
For only 50 Galleons, you can own your very own Heart Remote today! Be one of the first 25 people to order, and we'll give you a complementary Heart Remote!
The results are immediate! There's no need to wait, send an owl and you'll be able to control people anytime, anywhere!


This tool not for anyone who wishes to live. Side effects include: misdirected signals, heart failure, fried hearts, sudden, unexplicable death of all living organisms in the vicinity, the splattering of blood on your favorite outfit, and generally everything except someone falling in love with you. Check with any sane person to see if the Heart Remote is right for you.

 

[Nikki_Elaina]

Mmm Mmm Good!

Hungry? Starved? Famished? Ravenous? Just want a Snack? Come buy a COOKIE! Offered only fo a limited time! (They become harder than steel within moments)

These delictable little...er big cookies are the newest rage in town! After the very first bite you will be stuffed to the brim and will never have to eat anything ever again! That's how full you will be. Of course you would die from starvation if you don't but you'll be sick if you do eat something else.

For only 10 galleons you can purchase a whole half of one of these cookies! And the best part is that they are delivered to you by sweet-looking old ladies!

Note: these cookies are poisonous and will kill you within moments of coming into contact with your soon to be boil infested tongue.

 

[fourtysecondscarf]

The Perfect Gift for that Special Someone!

The "I heart you" gift pack, limited supply!*

This Valentines day, don't you want to impress your significant other with something that comes from the heart? Well now, for only 55 galleons,** you can! Our Valentines day special gift pack includes:

1 large, red, white or pink heart shaped box
1 red, white or pink ribbon and bow
1 100% authentic*** beating heart inside!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! For an extra 16 sickles,**** we'll engrave moving photos of your gift onto a heart shaped charm! Can be added to a bracelet, necklace, even a ring! Order while supplies last!

* 100 or less
** plus shipping and handling
*** Hearts are taken from dead bodies at the morgue. Artificial coloring has been added.
**** plus shipping and handling