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We all have insecurities/habits/weird ways of thinking, right?

so i'm really, really paranoid, and just. *aware* of what people think of me.
usually i'm way wrong, though, since i'm morbid, but likeeee.

agh.


i think everyone is paranoid, to an extent, but i haven't met a lot of people who do it as thoroughly as me.

i'm like, terrified of making a mistake on a public forum, or in public, or... you know?

i'll reread and double check all of my posts, and i'm lightning quick to edit it if i see a mistake, too. i live off of the spellcheck feature in firefox. XD the only thing i don't care about is capitalization, and thats 'cause i'm lazy. ;p

sometimes i'll avoid posting altogether, just because i'm not sure how my comments are gonna be received. its the same thing with speaking out in class. ;p

but, in general, i'm afraid of making a stupid mistake and getting laughed at for it, or like, just, not getting my point across.


its especially bad since i'm in an acting program, and, you know, in acting, sometimes its your job to go and act like a fool in front of people. its easier for me to do so with my acting class, because like, i'm really comfortable with them and its a fairly small class, but when we actually have to perform for the older classes/everyone else.

and even when i *know* the people i'm making a fool of myself in front of, it doesn't make a difference.
i missed getting into the large group musical *just* because my boyfriend happened to be auditioning with me and i was too nervous thinking "i bet i look stupid, crap" to actually memorize it. /dumb.

i guess i'm just really aware of what people think. ;p i, personally, am really critical of people and *will* judge off of stuff like that, so i guess i take that to mean that because i do it everyone else does. i drive myself crazy thinking.



so, idk, thats my insecurity. i'm too aware of what people will think of me. XD

whats yours, PPS?

I've pretty much gotten over that. Because, well, let's just say if you went up to somebody at school and asked about me, they'd basically go into a huge rant as to how annoying I am and how much they hate me because I'm not like everybody else. : D No seriously.

So frankly, I don't really give a s**t. C: And it's pretty awesome. So I don't really care if I mess up or do something like that. I used to, but that was really stressful and I've made myself look bad so much that it really doesn't even matter anymore. So I can go up to the front of the class and do really whatever I feel like without being afraid or nervous about what's going to happen, because whatever happens is going to happen, and if it wasn't perfect, too bad.

But I must say, I'm pretty judgmental. C: I <3 being judgmental. One of my friends says I'm really judgmental just because I basically say whatever I think, and she usually laughs at whatever I say, because it's true, and it's funny. So why not say it? So many people are afraid to say things because of PC. I say screw it. : D Because it sucks and PC is basically just a big bunch of masks and lies just to make one or two people feel good about themselves. C: I really don't get it. It's just so stupid. :/

But I am pretty paranoid about posting in forums. Because I don't want people to get what I'm saying wrong, or think I'm stupid. I feel it's just being polite to have correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

It's okay Kyoko. C: I always thought you were a Goddess since you owned HxC Ratings. :0

Yeah, I kinda got over my insecurity of acting like a fool, though I usually beat myself up about it when I am trying to go to sleep, and I think of all the stupid foolish things that I did that day.

My biggest insecurity is my face. You guessed it, acne.
It's not just acne, it's all over my face, chest, and back.
And I've had it since I was ten.
It was weird.
I was like the freak of the school because I had acne at age 10, but then this new kid came to school. He had acne too. All of a sudden I got attached to him because he was going through the same thing that I was/am.
Woah, okay offtopic.

But, like in public places, I feel like everyone is looking at me. That's why I developed this I don't ever show my feelings and I don't love anything attitude. So that I could hide beneath it.

Yeah, so there's my insecurity in a nutshell for you. And this insecurity is nurtured by my mother who is always getting on my case about it. She's always asking me if I washed my face and did I use my acne medicine. (Yes, mother, I can take care of myself. rolleyes ) Sometimes it sounds like she is telling me my face is ugly. I get so tired of it.

*sigh* I'm sorry I ended up ranting you out. sweatdrop

i always feel kind of awkward when i'm alone in public. i never really want to go somewhere where i don't know anyone.
but i'm trying to get over that. in fact, that's one of my new year's resolutions.
sometimes, i'm also afraid of posting on gaia 'cause methinks people will think i sound stupid. >___________>

I have the same problem as you. Sometimes I edit my post because I think it sounds weird. D;

I also don't like crowded areas. But I think that's more of a phobia.

@Shinny: I have that same problem. I hear every creak from my bed or someone walking across the floor boards or something, and I think someone has come to murder me. Also I see shadows from my computer and what not.
So I have to shut both door and turn off all of my glowing lights and shove my face into the pillow. I think I watch too much CSI. sweatdrop

My insecurity is well...
I am so not a homophobe,
but at school gays, bi's and les's
are kinda seen as weirdos.
I don't share that mentality
But I'm scared to even be too close
to my friends or to stare into space
in the wrong direction when my
mind is off kilter sometimes that
people might think I am not straight.
It's awful of me, but true,
because I know I'm not very well liked
by many...