Utena's Tree

[Kaelyndra]

Lawlz, basic outline all y'all. I'll get this organized and stuck together with nifty banners and stuff later.

"All my life I've fought be a prince, Anthy, but who's to say in the end I won't fail? It seems silly for a girl chasing a prince to be one, but I don't really want to decide which path to take. Not now, not ever."

"But a choice must be made."

"Then I'll stick by your side and someday . . . "

"Someday?"

"Someday, together. . . we'll shine."

~~

Two Halves of a Whole
The Prince's Code
The Pink Prince
A Churned Recollection
What Once Was
A Broken Coffin
Life Begins Anew

 

[Kaelyndra]

Banner Here, Harhar

The trees of Shrilal remain tucked in their tight-nit group, closed against the overbearing shadow of the great center tree. They are gorgeous in their own right, each showing the true nature of Nequus. I find them beautiful, alluring, and magical. I want to know everyone and the trees that make them who they are, but I'm afraid its a dream that will never come true.

In contrast, my own tree is short, stunted, but it still remains beautiful in my eyes. It has fled the binding welcome of the other trees and sits by itself, greedily soaking up the sun.

Its base is strikingly white, spiraling up and intertwining with soft pink. I know that this is part of my parents, and I feel closer to them - to me - when I'm nearby my tree. However, despite this, I know the subtle, and entrancing, colors represent more of my own soul than theirs. The tree itself boasts wonderfully pale blue leaves, their tips emblazened in gold. Occassionally it will bloom, beautiful dark blue flowers of no race I've ever seen before. I can only assume they are unique to my tree.

It makes me proud to have my own blue flower, its soft petals make me feel wholly unique, and beautiful in my own right. Even if I'm just a gangly young girl with aspiring dreams, my tree will stun the world for me.

Without it, I am nothing.  

[Kaelyndra]

Banner, yayz.

You'd think it would be easy. You're a prince, you go out, save princesses, make the world a decent place. Unfortunately, its not some perfect episode completely laid out where each treasure you pick up is a clue. No, you stumble on it, and most of the time situations aren't right or wrong, black or white, but completely grey.

That's why we follow rules. When I came along, there were none, so I made some, and I will live by them as best I can.

Rule One: All can be victims: male, female, hermaphroditic. Even you can be in need of rescuing.
Rule Two: Take help when needed, but never, ever, if it is to harm another.
Rule Three: Either know a right or wrong, or split a compromise. Never take from one to give to the other.
Rule Four: Refrain from cursing when mad. Seems obvious, but I'm lacking in this rules enforcement.
Rule Five: Never fight to kill. No matter how demeaned, you must remember not to kill. Beat senseless if you must, but the moment you cause a death you have become what things need to be rescued from.
Rule Six: Their safety before yours. If you think there is even a slight chance, go.
Rule Seven: Never falter. You must have courage and no fear. Charge headlong into situations, and use instincts to get out, but do not hesitate.
Rule Eight: Always say what's on your mind. Be polite, of course, but let nothing tie your tongue.
Rule Nine: You work for yourself and your own morals. Do not settle, simply travel from place to place if you must, but you may not stay. Bounds exist between you and the code, no one else.
Rule Ten: Never fall in love.  

[Kaelyndra]

Banner Here, Harhar

Name: Utena (Tenjou)
Breed: Ichsa
Gender: Female
Height: 15 hands, 3 inches
Age: Adolescence, on the verge of Adulthood
Shape: A tall, gangly, lithe form of a body. Slim, sinewed muscles line her still growing form. She is very finely built, as is characteristic of the Ichsa, but she uses it with practiced grace.
Beliefs: There are five gods, each with their own purpose, but she cannot help but to feel her heart go out to Ichsa. After-all, they do share supposed bloodlines, and he was always the heart that could never be had. Equality is a fact, not a thought, and it is the duty of the race to keep it intact. She'll do it alone if she must.
Likes: Long walks at night, families, friendship, nobility, strong personalities, most people, food
Dislikes: Those who use others, egocentric man-whores, water
Strengths: Noble Heart, Determination, Agility (She's darn good at dodging those strikes!), Power of Dios
Weaknesses: Falling in love with men, Gullibility, Innocent Heart, Lack of true fighting skill, Need to be involved with other's lives, Lack of Wings
Current Marital Status: Single (And not looking!)
Current Love Interest: Anthy (Though, in her head, she does not know it)
Family: Father, Deceased; Mother, Deceased; Aunt, Caretaker
Friends: Anthy, Engaged; Wakaba, Best Friend; Miki, Good Friend; Juri, Good Friend; Touga, Moderate Dislike - maybe friends if he'll stop hitting on her!;

~~

In the Words of Nequus

That's me: blue eyed with pastel pink hair that refuses to cooperate. Don't be fooled, I'm purebred Ichsa, and proud of my heritage, but mutations have brought into account a lack of wings. Seems my luck is rather foul with such things. I've been told my eyes are pretty, though, I suppose its the only redeeming part of my features. Other than that, there's nothing but a gangly youth with perhaps a few years left of growing to do. I distinctly remember a time of being 'hip-high'. It was like walking downhill all the time which, I suppose, I really was.

Still interested in the grim details? Fine then. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm not going to go out with you. I've had enough manipulating men to last me a lifetime. Cold turkey on relationships. From now on, I'm my own relationship, and Utena 1 and Utena 2 have some straightening out to do.

I have a weakness for good food, but I have never met a soul who could turn down honest to goodness delectables. Other than that, I fail rather miserably at anything strength-wise. Perhaps I'm better than many, but I'm surpassed by far more. Don't ask me to carry this or that, or help you push this or that boulder off a hill - I'll end up with a hernia. No joke. Completely serious.

Let's just lay down this now, while we're here. You mess with my friends expect to have your head served on a platter to the b***h goddess Reya herself. She'll eat you down good, too - provided there's enough material left that can be recognized as meat. If you think I'm kidding, just try me. I may not be the super master of skills, but I've got something far better. Cold, raw, determination and fury.

As for my past, family, not much to say. Parents are dead, I have a distinct longing for them, but nothing can be done about it. I've got friends, though they are still back in Ohtori. I doubt I'll see them again. So, for now, I'm completely and utterly alone in the world, and you know what? That's fine. I can lone wolf, thank you kindly.

 

[Kaelyndra]

In my youth, disaster struck. I don't remember how it happened, why it happened, if it was natural or murder. All I can recall is that my parents were buried at the base of their trees, which began to fade from the world. My own tree is a living, thriving remembrance of two halves of their whole, but no matter how long I stared at it they remained beneath the grass.

I gave up.

I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't move, I was sorely convinced that I should have gone with them, wherever it was. Everything was going to die someday, so what was the point of trying to get up and go forwards? I needed something eternal, and someone showed it to me. It ended up being a sight more horrific than I could bear, and for many many years I completely forgot the purpose behind my actions. Live on to be a prince, I always told myself, but it didn't make sense for someone to be one, when they were always searching for one.

That's when I reached out for Ohtori academy, or rather, it reached out for me. My foolish youth kept me from realizing, and it was only through the unselfish act of a friend I actually realized what the messages I'd been receiving were. Words, coupled with pictures, that when slipped altogether became a where. With little thought for an aunt and friend I left behind, I slipped off to the elusive school.

School? you may ask. It was a shock to me as well. It was simply an organized area for the better learning of those in the Nequus world, not tied down to herd or particular religion. They studied all the gods, and even measured on the possibilities of others, or a lack of their existence. I learned much less there than I should have, for events at a world of organized learning were far from normal.

I quickly fell into the scheme of things, falling in my place behind every other Nequus there, but I stood out. The nature I aired, the people I hung with, it left me a walking legend amongst the school grounds. I wasn't anything special underneath it all, I wasn't much faster or stronger than the other girls, but I had a heart and I could keep going until it burst. I am sure, now, that's where their admiration came from. I didn't care about my appearance in the morning, or that I'd failed that last test on rock formations of Casa Tiner. I simply stuck my nose where it didn't belong with a bright smile and a hooful of solutions. I had friends, but Wakaba was always the most loyal. I wonder if that's why she was so dear to me. She was, completely, and utterly devoted. More so, I think, than even I could be to the rest of the world.

It all changed when Anthy came around:

"You don't know the student council?"

"No."

"Eiee, Utena, you're shallow."

"Who's that? It seems rude of him to hit his girlfriend."

"You think that Saionji would go out with Anthy Himemiya?"

I didn't understand at the time, I couldn't grasp the schools policy, their hidden secrets. I still don't. It seemed like such an insignificant event, just an unwanted glimpse into others complicated lives.

Until Wakaba wrote her love to Saionji, and all hell broke lose.

The next thing my lacking brain knows is I'm getting the crap hammered out of me my a green haired Bae, who's strength blows are unmatched in the school. I had no chance. He in the air, me on the ground barely managing to dodge the blows towards the white flower in my hair.

"The first rose to fall," he'd said.

But I had to win for Wakaba, to take back her pride, and more than that I had to crush his pompous nature which only served to infuriate me. And then, in a single solid motion I won. Don't ask me how, every other bit of my body as bleeding but the rose, but I won.

It was a fleeting discovery, for upon return to my nightly place of stay I was only to learn I was engaged to a girl. I learned the first rule of Ohtori:

Nothing is what it seems.

But I'd always forget it, and be brutally reminded.

It continued on like this. Nights spent with an incompetent girl who knew only serving and no feelings. It was something I wasn't prepared for and could not fathom. Everyday I fought her to make decisions for herself, to make friends, but when I lost to Touga came the bitter reality that it didn't matter. She had no thoughts or feelings, and everything she'd said had been because I'd forced her too. Perhaps you'll never be in such a situation, and I don't expect you to understand, but imagine everything you'd ever hoped and dreamed of was a lie? That you'd been leading yourself on, and perhaps human emotion was not as real as you'd thought? That people maybe can't think for themselves.

Well, its a darn good thing Wakaba never gave up on me. I got back what Anthy had given me - a purpose. Though it may not have been real, to me it was, and from it I learned the second rule of Ohtori:

Your dreams, not your memories, are what drags you to success.

The events that happened afterwords are all a blur, and it feels as though there is a piece of my memory missing that I can't quite place. I think of an old burned down structure when I try, one that Miki can't remember the name of. It seems strange to remember such a forlorn place, especially since no one was hurt amongst those ashes. Maybe, someday, I'll figure it out - for now, I'll just call it craziness.

Akio, Akio, his name makes me angry even now. Oh, but not at the time, no. I was in love with him then, in my youth, in my stupidity. Thinking he was my prince, but I learn that in Ohtori there are no princes. There are only memories, and it was time that I cast that one to the wind. I needed to live off my dreams.

I hesitate to say anything about these times, because it humiliates and shames me. What they did, what we'd done. Here I thought that Anthy had betrayed me. Oh how naive I'd been. I was soon to learn how wrong I was, and how much that knowledge would cost me.

I know now, the eternal thing I was shown was Anthy's suffering. While I was out chasing princes, there were hundreds of angry horns and hooves piercing through her sides, and Akio thought he would use me to gain some 'power to revolutionize the world'. This time, it was time for him to play the fool.

But in the end, after I'd battled him, and Anthy had wrung me through with her own weapon, I still lost. Anthy fell away, nearly forgotten, while I felt what she had for her eternity.

When it was all finished I could not find a prince, and I could not be one.

 

[Kaelyndra]

I recall, bitterly now, one night where Anthy and I were under the discussion of Saionji. I can't I have any fondness for him, but I can half see where he comes from. That being said, he often spoke of wishing Anthy to write his feelings for him. The woodlands around Ohtori academy are inscribed with hoofprints, horn carvings, and claw as well.

Anthy said to me, "Don't you wish to have your memory inscribed on the trees, Miss Utena?"

I was a bit baffled at first, but then I knew what she meant. It had nothing to do with star-crossed lovers writing their ties on limbs. No, Himemiya was asking me to compile my thoughts so I would always remember. I thought it was silly at the time, how could I forget? How could I forget her, or any of this insanity? She was just a silly young girl who never ceased to amaze me.

None the less, I coalesced.

Upon return from Ohtori I found, to my utter shock, that every small carving I'd made in the stone of our dorm had wrapped its way around our tree.

I began, oddly, with the night after the duels. Not the day before, not the duel itself, but that moment I first saw Himemiya. I can't determine why, but it feels right to me. It truly began this way.

The Rose Bride
After the Duel with Saionji
Anthy is, how shall I say it? A strange girl. I'm unsure on her position in the world, but I think the boys have put her up to this silly game. Maybe one of them promised her something.
Hah, I wish I could believe that. But, the mirages in this school are too real. Looking back, I know that not of it was my imagination. It all really happened, and Himemiya said its going to keep happening as long as I remain the champion. Lucky for me, there's an easy fix to the situation. I have no interest in being engaged to some girl, when I haven't even found my honest normal boy yet. Whoever is next in line, prepare to win, because Utena Tenjou officially stops this madness tonight.
Still. . . I wonder what will become of Himemiya. There's something about her I can't quite place. Almost haunting, but mostly saddening. It hurts to look at her, I think. Yes, that's the feeling. I feel empty when I see those eyes, like everything is a giant illusion.

A Shell's Soul
Meeting ChuChu, The Day Following
I made a new friend today. He's very short (don't make fun of him), very furry, and extremely cute. ChuChu has quite the wonderful personality. It's entertaining, anyways. The three of us (of course ChuChu is Himemiya's friend, too, her only one - I'm going to have to fix that), went venturing through the old housing. It really was vacant, but when I asked Himemiya avoided the question. She seems to do it a lot, I hope I haven't upset her by asking the wrong things.
In any case, I had a time. ChuChu and I fought of horrible table monsters, and persisted to take the back roads back to our dorms. Who knew the gnarled bushes and plants that grew around our new home were so exciting. I took a few home with us for ChuChu to have.
We had tea when we got back. Himemiya likes her tea. It's a good thing that I enjoy it, too, or we'd have nothing to agree on. I'm not sure what I think about her company yet. She's nice enough, quiet, but still, just weird. There really is no other word to describe her.  

[Kaelyndra]

"Himemiya?"

I remember calling her name the morning I woke up. My body ached all over, and I was completely covered in sweat. Everything was wrong. It smelled wrong, tasted wrong, and I could't get rid of the bile clinging to the back of my throat.

I remember my head was spinning.

I had tried to stand, and stumbled forwards. It was then I recalled why I felt so bad. I looked awful. The blood still coated my side, though it was mostly a brown caking color. I'm not sure what happened after that. I remember fading in and out of consciousness. My brain tells me that were was a change of scenery. Eventually, I guess, I dragged myself to a river.

It was cool, welcoming, and it numbed away most of the physical pain, but not the throb in my head and the regret in my heart. I wanted to leave that very instant to go to Ohtori, but I couldn't move, so I finally relented.

I awoke many days later, a smiling face looking down at me.

"You look hungry," he said.

I had to strain my head to look at him, and I wasn't really that interested in talking with a young colt who didn't understand. I wanted to go back to sleep and have it all be a dream. I couldn't face the reflection that stared back from around my feet.

"You've been tired for many days. You should get up."

I ignored him, and finally closed my eyes.

Sometime - maybe that night - I awoke again, to find he was gone, but there had been food left there for me. Strange foods compared to what Ohtori had. They no longer felt like home, even though I'd feasted on them and the sweet grass of D'ob since I was a little girl.

I tried getting up. I was mostly unsuccessful, but I wasn't going to give up. My mind kept falling in and out of spirit. There were times when I thought that I could just lie there forever, but the other half of me just kept pushing me on.

The term 'What's the use?' was not an option ever again. You'd promised Wakaba.

It went on like this, for days, weeks, was it months? I don't know. I didn't think I could ever run again, seeing as how I could only make it a few steps. My back right leg didn't work as it should. It twisted and fumbled, and so I hopped on three, making it to my river to calm the aching in my muscles and then back to a grassy spot with food.

A few Nequus stopped to pity me. Some laughed, but many just avoided me with a sigh. They probably thought I'd been in some fight I deserved.

And perhaps I did deserve it. I was such a fool for Akio.

Now, my leg appears to be getting better. I made it to my tree today, to watch it blossom. I can bear a little bit of weight on the leg, even if my ribs seem to hurt as I do so. I'm confident that if I keep this up I'll at least be able to walk semi-normally.

When that happens I'll go back to Ohtori, and I'll save Himemiya.