Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ha, so some people actually did read all that.
I've got to admit I am a bit surprised, but all together rather thankful for y'alls responses’, lol. :]

Sabin le Rose:
Don't worry; nothing extremely bad happens during my HS years.
It's nothing compared to when I was livin' with my 'dad'.
But even though some of the things I went through during my HS years really sucked
I would never change 'em even if I could.

Seeing that it's because of those things that I got to know some really great people,
and with out them only God knows where I'd be or what I'd be doing. >_>

I’ll post the HS portion in a little bit.

‘Til then.
~Kp.

Yea’ sorry it took so long for me to type up these next few posts, IRL issues have been pilling up one after another, after another. -.-“

Also I left out a bit in the previous posts.
~In middle school [[Oakridge]] my bff at the time and the friends I met through her where the type of people who cut themselves and talk about suicide and all the jazz. Back then whenever my bff brought up cutting and what not I would tell her that it was just stupid to do such a thing, and that you would never catch me doing that, or talking about suicide like it was a good thing.

~So I moved to northern FL 1 week after I had started 8th grade, and well I didn’t know anybody and unfortunately I became very shy when I got older. [[Up until the 3rd grade I was very outgoing]] So I didn’t really talk to the kids at the bus stop, I just sat on the curb and listened to my music, and I’d do the same when I got on the bus. Sometimes I would put my music on pause just so I could hear what they were talking about, I never heard anything that interesting or important to me.

But then this new kid moved into town and they were talking to him, so I decided to pause my music and see what I could find out about the new guy. And everything was fine, and he seemed alright. And then he asked about me, and the other guy told him not to even bother with me, and told him that I was a freak..

Now normally I wont be all hurt about it and what not, but that morning I had almost attempted to commit suicide.. You see, the night before I had decided that I was going to commit suicide by OD. And so I had set out all the pills in my bathroom that I could find.. When my Mom asked what I was doing I told her that I was just getting my bathroom organized.

So I woke up the next morning [[This is a few hours before the kid called me a freak]] and got ready for school as usual and saw my Mom off to work then went back upstairs to my bathroom where the pills were waiting for me. I all ways sleep with the TV on and turn it to VH1 in the morning when I get ready for school. So I was standing in the bathroom looking at all the pills I had removed from their bottles thinking if I was really going to do it..

How I wanted to do it just to get away from all the a** wholes at school that talk behind my back, even though the only thing I’ve ever done to them is said Hello when they said Hello, and lend them pencils/paper/etc if they ever asked.. Just how unfair everything was in my life...

While I was thinking about all that I could hear the TV in the background, and it began to play The Goo Goo Dolls new song Big Machine.. [[Whom have been my all time favorite band my whole life, since 2nd grade I think. [: ]] I’m not sure if y’all know that song but here it is if you care to hear it.. But one of the lyrics in it is “God it’s good to be alive” and when I heard that I started to cry and got on my knees putting my head against the cabinet doors. I then sat on the bathroom floor hugging my knees crying for at least a ½ an hour.

Then I realized the time and ran to the bus stop, the bus was late as usual and so I sat on the curb and listened to my music.. And when I heard the kid call me a freak I just wanted to get up and run back home and shoot myself in the head..

Instead I just sat there holding back my tears..

Most people treated me like s**t all the time just because I didn’t go out of my way to talk to them, or anybody else for that matter, and because I didn’t dress ‘pretty’.. Sigh..
So that’s that..

I’ll post the H.S. bit in a little bit.
And this time I do mean it, I promise it wont be weeks, lol. xP

Now onto H.S.

By this point I never get to see my BFF that I met in 8th grade cause she goes to a different school.. And her step mom is using her like a slave, making her clean everything, and babysit every single night she goes out.

~So freshmen year nothing exciting really happened..
~Sophomore year my Mom made me go to another therapist. And when I told her about the rape, etc. She told me that she would have to tell my mom… Even though it happened 7 years ago.. So I had her make their meeting on a Friday so that I could go and spend the night at my friends house. Cause I didn’t want to have to talk to my mom about it when she got out of the meeting.

But my Mom wouldn’t let me go at first cause I had a soccer game the next morning. But we yelled at fought about, and I told her that I had to. And she told me that no matter what I was still going to go to my soccer game the next morning. And that if she found out that I was at a party and I got arrested for anything that she wasn’t going to bail me out. And I told her fine. So I spent that night lying on my friends floor listening to the white stripes and petting her cats, what a party, lol. xP


That's not all of it, obviously, I'm just getting tired of typing at the moment. :/
I'll post the rest as soon as I can.